Part 30 (2/2)

And if the chance came by shadows, well, across the river of a man's life they flitted lightly enough as a rule, chasing each other away, and leaving the waters still flowing joyfully. It was only for a woman, apparently, the shadows left a stain that even the sunlight could not chase away.

It would seem woman was made a helpmeet for man in many ways beside that of keeping his home and bearing his children. How often dit he owe his best development and best achievements to her, absorbing light from her in some mysterious ordering, and soaring away afterwards while she was left among the shadows.

Yet, by some equally mysterious compensation, a woman was often so fas.h.i.+oned that if she could feel the upward flight was won through her, she might rest statisfied even though him she loved had soared away.

It was the mother-love blending strangely with the wife-love; the protecting, inspiring, unselfish, mothering instinct, lying in the soul of every true-hearted woman.

Standing gazing at the flas.h.i.+ng river, Lorraine, in the midst of her probing, knew that it was his ultimate success and good she wanted, as well as his freshness to sweeten her own life.

And yet? -

What if she brought a shadow where there would otherwise have been no shadow, dimmed a brightness that, without her, had gone undimmed? She knew he was not weak naturally. He did not need any strengthening; only impetus, ambition, aim, and some safeguarding by the way.

She smiled a little drearily at the recollection that it was from her, herself, that probably his own people would think he needed safeguarding. She could foresee that they would likely enough hurl themselves between him and her, oblivious that by doing so they might very possibly be the cause of driving him to far worse. But that, of course, no one could help; as how should they know the fine shades between the women who lived outside the conventions?

But then again, they need not know that the great friends.h.i.+p existed - why should they? After all, few would credit the celebrated, beautiful actress with anything beyond a pa.s.sing fancy for the youthful, briefless barrister.

And yet? -

Across every fresh pathway she turned her thoughts along, was still that arresting, intangible, ”and yet”.

The pity of it! At least he was strong, and true, and unspoilt now.

Why not give life a chance to leave him so?

Why not give Fate a chance to endow him quickly with the rich, blessed love that kept a man walking straight and strong along his steadfast way?

But again the thought came back of what he would lose, what he must inevitably lose, if he missed the storm and stress and struggle that are as the mill and furnace through wich the gold is refined, and hardened, and separated from the dross.

She went back to the fireside feeling that her probing had brought her nowhither, and that she was only very tired and very depressed.

Then she went slowly away to dress, and chose, somewhat to Jean's surprise, one of the simplest evening frocks she possessed. Jean, knowing the tall, beautiful new friend was coming to dinner, had laid out an elaborate dinner-dress, and arranged the jewel cases for selection.

”Put them away at once,” was all her mistress said, with one sweeping glance round. ”I shall wear that little blue Liberty gown and a single row of pearls.”

When Alymer came he found her already seated by the fire, engaged with some knitting.

”How nice and homely,” he said. ”I never a.s.sociated you with anything so commonplace as sewing.”

”I'm afraid I can't sew very well,” with a little smile. ”I can knit this, and that is about all.”

”Are you better?” and he scanned her face critically, in an old-fas.h.i.+oned way that gave her secret yoy.

”Yes, sir, thnak you,” with a low laugh.

He laughed too, and took up his stand on the hearthrug, with his hands behind his back, in a natural, quite-at-home way, that seemed to come easily to him.

”How jolly it is to see a fire. My mater always seems afraid of beginning too soon. I think she has a sort of feeling that if winter sees fires started he will hurry.”

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