Chapter 52 (1/2)
Fifty-two
Though leaves are many, the root is one;
Through all the lying days of my youth
I swayed my leaves and flowers in the sun;
Now I may wither into the truth.
–Percy Bysshe Sh.e.l.ley, Coming of Wisdom with Time
It was a bit late by the time they returned to the cottage.
Auntie Lin had prepared dinner and left it on the table. She also had left a conventional note saying Ah-Qiang would come at noon tomorrow to drive them to the airport.
A tired and quiet Xu Ping ate dinner across his brother. His arms were so sore from rowing that he could barely hold his chopsticks, so he switched to the soup spoon and pushed a few mouthfuls into his mouth.
He stood up and smiled to his brother. “You take your time. I’m going to take a shower.”
When the warm water hit Xu Ping’s back, he felt a burning sensation.
He reached around and touched the skin there. He probably got burnt by the sun after the afternoon on the skerry.
He didn’t pay much attention to it and put on his clothes as usual after the shower.
On the table were empty bowls and plates, and his brother was on the couch watching television.
Xu Ping eased his way over slowly and sat down beside the man.
“What are you watching?”
Xu Zheng was too focused to answer.
Xu Ping didn’t mind.
He was wiped and every single muscle was crying out, but he didn’t want to sleep.
Every minute, every second, was precious because he could stay with his brother, even if it was watching television together or making small talk.
He diverted some of his attention to the television and the rest to his brother.
He watched as the light from the screen tinted his brother’s face.
Xu Zheng turned to him, he smiled back, and Xu Zheng turned back to the screen.
A decade old film, Scent of a Woman, was playing. Al Pacino played a blind lieutenant colonel who was dancing with a woman on the dance floor in a restaurant.
“Would you like to learn to tango, Donna?”
“I think I’d be a little afraid.”
“Of what?”
“Afraid of making a mistake.”
“No mistakes in the tango, not like life. It’s simple. That’s what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, get all tangled up, just tango on.”
Xu Ping gently touched his brother’s face.
His brother turned to him.
Xu Ping leaned in and kissed his lips.
His brother lowered his head and deepened it.
In the graceful music, Xu Ping s.h.i.+fted away and rested his head on his shoulder.
He didn’t know what it was – maybe the gentle music was too sorrowful – his eyes reddened.
He didn’t want to let his brother see his tears.
He took a deep breath and composed himself.
The room was dim, and the television screen projected waves of light into it illuminating half of his brother’s handsome face.
Xu Ping lifted up his head and smiled at his brother.
He pulled him by the hand up from the couch. “Would you like to dance with me?”
His brother faltered. “I don’t know how.”
“That’s fine,” Xu Ping whispered.
He wrapped his brother’s arms around his own shoulder.
“Follow my lead.”
The white carpet beneath his feet was soft and fluffy like the weeds by the banks, as if it would ensnare whoever stepped foot onto it.
His brother’s strong arms were stiffly wrapped around him, and his feet were completely out of sync.
There was probably no worse dancer on the face of the earth.
“Gege…”
Xu Ping pressed a finger on his lips.
“Shhh…”
They slowly twirled about the dark living room.
The music gradually faded away, but no one paid any attention to that.
With the warm, salty scent of an adult male, Xu Zheng enveloped Xu Ping in a cacc.o.o.n.
They spun round and round like the rainy ripples on a lake.
And in that moment, Xu Ping realized that perhaps his fate in existing in this ever-expanding universe, in this infinite time and s.p.a.ce, was solely to be with this person right then and there.
Xu Ping cried in silence into his brother’s shoulder. The dark hid all signs of it, just as rain fell unbeknownst on the boundless ocean – silently it fell, and silently it disappeared.
Xu Ping awoke from his slumber. The digital clock by the bed told him it was only ten past four in the morning.
He lay in bed. The sky was still black, and he could hear the waves. .h.i.tting the beach and the ocean breeze whoos.h.i.+ng between the coconut tree leaves.
His brother was lying beside him naked and fast asleep. Warm breaths brushed by his ear. Maybe he was having a good dream because his brows were relaxed and his lips were slightly curved.
Xu Ping turned his head and called softly, “Xiao-Zheng.”
His brother was fast asleep.
Xu Ping turned to his side to face his brother and touched his brother’s forehead.
Xu Zheng’s lashes fluttered, but the man did not awake.
The window was open, and the breeze sneaked into the room through the tiny crack and brought the white curtains to a delicate dance in the air.
Xu Ping gazed at his brother for a very long time before gently planting a kiss on the corner of his lips.
Carefully, he eased himself off of the bed, and as though he were performing a mime, he picked up the clothes on the floor and dressed himself.
He tucked his brother in and trod out of the room.
He began tidying the clothes in the bathroom, folding each and packing it into the luggage.
Holding onto the railing, he descended the stairs. The couch was practically flipped upside down, and the sink was full of the dirty dishes from last night.