Chapter 14 (1/2)
Fourteen
And life is very dear to all. It is pleasant to sit in the green wood, and to watch the Sun in his chariot of gold, and the Moon in her chariot of pearl. Sweet is the scent of the hawthorn, and sweet are the bluebells that hide in the valley, and the heather that blows on the hill. Yet Love is better than Life, and what is the heart of a bird compared to the heart of a man?
–Oscar Wilde, The Nightingale and the Rose
Xu Zheng was sitting at the dinner table, slowly turning the dial of the radio with his ear against the speakers.
Xu Chuan had bought the small black box for his younger son when he was shooting in Shanghai. Two AA batteries fit in the back and allowed the user to carry it along on their morning jog or a stroll in the park. It was the definition of modern in the eighties.
His brother listened closely to the static that sounded just like noise to Xu Ping. The younger boy looked like the underground communist agents as portrayed in movies, waiting to decode the enemy’s telegram.
The red bucket lay in the back of the cupboard along with the ball and shovel, slowly gathering dust.
THE WHEELS OF TIME CANNOT BE STOPPED! COMMUNISM IS UPON US!
Xu Ping had read a slogan on one of the walls in their neighbourhood when he was younger, and it made a deep impression on him. He had once imagined the entire world as a pot of congee that was being stirred by a ladle called time while the old rice melted at the bottom of the pot with new rice being constantly added in.
The great leaders had gone to their last resting place before the communist dream came true, first Premier Zhou, then Chairman Mao. Though he was only five years old, Xu Ping could not forget the white flowers and the mourners who gathered in the thousands to weep.
Before he knew it, his brother had grown up too. He wasn’t sure when the younger boy abandoned sand and began taking a pa.s.sion with complex stuff like vacuum tube radios.
Xu Ping contemplated as he sped through the politics exercise given by his teacher – explain briefly the meaning of the statement “Our country is currently in the initial stage of communism” and provide evidence.
The window before the desk was open. The cool breeze of the May evening brought in the delightful smell of some flower while small bugs kept b.u.mping into the green mesh as they tried to race to the light indoors.
The clock in the living room went tick-tock in a steady rhythm.
“…Secretariat of the Party, Wen Jiabao, was also among those who visited the students at Tiananmen Square. Today marks the seventh day of the fast at Tiananmen Square. Many students have showed signs of failing health and numerous had been hospitalized last night. This was the Voice of America.”
The voice of a female announcer from an enemy station suddenly started playing from the shortwave channel that Xu Zheng had found.
Startled, Xu Ping barked at his brother, “Xiao-Zheng!”
Xu Zheng slowly turned to look at his brother.
“Don’t listen to this,” Xu Ping explained hurriedly.
After the nine-thirty news, the station started playing Teresa Teng’s Goodbye My Love.
“Goodbye my love, my love goodbye. Goodbye my love, who knows when we’ll meet again.”
It was a song so gentle and dear that even Xu Zheng became engrossed and ignored his brother.
Xu Ping got up to shut the window and draw the dark green curtains.
He switched off the desk lamp and walked towards his brother.
There was only a small, dim bedside lamp illuminating the room.
He sat down beside his brother and rested his head on a hand as they listened to this song that was once banned.
“I’ll always miss you, miss you with a gentle love, miss you with a burning heart, miss you with a sweet, sweet kiss. O that beautiful voice, how could I ever forget this love. My love goodbye, who knows where we’ll meet again…”
Xu Ping tilted to look at his brother. His face was half hidden in the shadows, his deep-set eyes, thick brows and sharp jaw line. The younger boy turned to face his brother with a gentle and focused gaze. The dim orangey light behind him surrounded his silhouette in a halo of gold like that of an angel.
Xu Ping’s heart skipped several beats.
“Do you know what she’s singing about?”
Xu Zheng gazed at his brother without a word.
Xu Ping squinted before saying, “Well, you’ll…”
He didn’t finish. He wanted to say that you would understand the lyrics when you fall in love in the future, but then he realized his r.e.t.a.r.d brother might not ever experience romantic love.
His own gaze filled with sorrow. His brother was a good-looking lad, even more so than their father in his youth. If he had a normal IQ, all the girls would go crazy for him.
Xu Ping flashed a forced smile at his brother.
“Xiao-Zheng.”
“Mhm?”
Would his brother fall in love with a girl?
Was it IQ or instincts that controlled whom one liked?
But he couldn’t ask. He didn’t want to think about his brother falling in love with someone and being heartbroken from not receiving anything in response. If it was going to be like that, he’d rather Xu Zheng stayed dumb and always be happy.
Xu Zheng looked at his brother who had called his name but had not spoken.
“Dummy!” Xu Ping rubbed his brother’s head roughly. “Don’t listen to stuff you don’t understand. Listening at home is okay, but you’ll get arrested for listening to it out in public. Got it?”
Xu Zheng shook his head.
“If you like Teresa Teng, I’ll buy you a few tapes. Don’t listen to the stuff on the radio again.”
Xu Zheng turned his attention back to the radio and spoke with a little lisp, “Good song. I like it.”
Xu Ping chuckled and put an arm around his brother.
How could Xu Zheng possibly understand the rules of the outside world when he lived in his own tiny one? The only ones who could protect him were Xu Ping and their father and no one else. But in this moment, Xu Ping didn’t want to disrupt the lovely song playing in his brother’s peaceful world.
“Dummy,” he replied quietly.
After several Theresa Teng’s songs was the late night programme teaching English. The host was a man with a raspy voice. Xu Zheng didn’t like his voice and changed the channel in a slightly dissatisfied manner.
Xu Ping stood up for a stretch. “Time to wash up and go to bed.”
Xu Zheng carefully put the radio back into its case like the good boy he was.
It only took the newly installed boiler five minutes to get the water to a nice, hot temperature.
Standing outside the tub, Xu Ping instructed as he rolled up his sleeves, “Quick, take your clothes off. The water’s almost ready.”
Then he heard the soft rustling of fabrics from behind.
Xu Ping had his pant legs all rolled up when he turned to find his brother naked on top but struggling to unzip his pants.
“Here, let me,” Xu Ping offered.
Thick, blue jean pants had become popular among the younger crowd recently and bell-bottoms became a style icon. With his height and long legs, Xu Zheng looked great in jeans.
Xu Ping tugged on the zipper, but it did not budge even a little.
After taking a closer look, he shouted almost immediately, “You a.s.shole! How many times do I have to tell you? Always wear underwear before wearing jeans! Underwear, you understand?!”
Xu Zheng stared dumbly at his brother. “Oh.”
Xu Ping wanted to drive his fist in the wall. “Oh? You say that every time! But you forget it as soon as you do! You’re doing this on purpose, aren’t you, Xu Zheng?!”
His brother made an innocent face like a puppy, “Too tight. Uncomfortable.”
Xu Ping felt frustration beyond description. “And getting your hair stuck in the zipper is comfortable?! You’re just asking for it, aren’t you?!”
A silly smile appeared on his brother’s face.
“Ugh, alright. You wait here.” Defeated, Xu Ping went searching for the scissors.
He finally got the pants off after struggling with the hair and the pants. While he was battling with the zipper, he brushed his brother’s genitals several times, and soon it was erect. The p.e.n.i.s was thick and long, the head a healthy pink. It made a small tent in the pants and peeked its head out from the top of the zipper.
Although his brain was that of a child’s, Xu Zheng’s body had matured. His t.e.s.t.i.c.l.es could produce sperm and was driven by hormones to reproduce like every other male on this earth.