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Through the open doorway that leads from the dining room into the kitchen, I glimpse Jason standing at the island, holding a bottle of wine. Reaching across, he pours into someone’s winegla.s.s.
Elation hits, but it doesn’t last.
From my vantage point, all I can see is a beautiful hand holding the stem of the gla.s.s, and it crashes down on me again what this man did to me.
All that he took.
Everything he stole.
I can’t hear anything out here in the snow, but I see him laugh and take a sip of wine.
What are they talking about?
When was the last time they f.u.c.ked?
Is Daniela happier now than she was a month ago, with me?
Can I stand to know the answer to that question?
The sane, even voice in my head is wisely suggesting that I move away from the house right now.
I’m not ready to do this. I have no plan.
Only rage and jealousy.
And I shouldn’t get ahead of myself. I still need more confirmation that this is my world.
A little ways down the block, I see the familiar back end of our Suburban. Walking over, I brush off the snow that’s clinging to the Illinois tag.
The license plate number is mine.
The paint is the right color.
I clear the back winds.h.i.+eld.
The purple Lakemont Lions decal looks perfect, inasmuch as it’s half ripped off. I instantly regretted putting the sticker on the gla.s.s the moment I did it. Tried to tear it off, but only managed to remove the top half of the lion’s face, so all that’s left is a growling mouth.
But that was three years ago.
I need something more recent, more definitive.
Several weeks before I was abducted, I accidentally backed the Suburban into a parking meter near campus. It didn’t do much damage beyond cracking the right rear taillight and denting in the b.u.mper.
I wipe the snow off the red plastic of the taillight and then the b.u.mper.
I touch the crack.
I touch the dent.
No other Suburban in the countless Chicagos I’ve visited has borne these markings.
Rising, I glance across the street toward that bench where I once spent an entire day watching another version of my life unfold. It’s empty at the moment, the snow piling up silently on the seat.
s.h.i.+t.
A few feet behind the bench, a figure watches me through the snowy darkness.
I begin walking quickly down the sidewalk, thinking it probably looked as if I were stealing the license plate off the Suburban.
I have to be more careful.
—
The blue neon sign in the front window of Village Tap blinks through the storm, like a signal from a lighthouse, telling me I’m close to home.
There is no Hotel Royale in this world, so I check into the sad Days Inn across from my local bar.
Two nights is all I can afford, and it brings my cash reserves down to $120 and change.
The business center is a tiny room down the hallway on the first floor, with a borderline-obsolete desktop, fax machine, and printer.
Online, I confirm three pieces of information.
Jason Dessen is a professor in the Lakemont physics department.
Ryan Holder just won the Pavia award for his research contributions in the field of neuroscience.
Daniela Vargas-Dessen isn’t a renowned Chicago artist, and she doesn’t run a graphic-design business. Her charmingly amateurish website displays several pieces of her best work and advertises her services as an art instructor.
As I trudge up the stairwell to my third-floor room, I finally begin to let myself believe.