Part 12 (1/2)
Braden watched her flushed, drawn face with frowning eyes. He realised that she had suffered long in silence, that her heart had been wrung in the bitter stretches of a thousand nights despite the gay indifference of the thousand days that lay between them. For nearly three years she had kept alive the hungry thing that gnawed at her heart and would not be denied. He was sorry for her. She was better than most of the women he knew in one respect if in no other: she was steadfast. She had made a bargain and it was not her fault that it was not binding. He had but little pity for George Tresslyn. The little he had was due to the belief that if the boy had been older he would have fought a better fight for the girl. As she lay there now, propped up against the pillows, he could not help contrasting her with the splendid, high-bred daughter of Constance Tresslyn. That she was a high-minded, honest, G.o.d-fearing girl he could not for an instant doubt, but that she lacked the-there is but one word for it-_cla.s.s_ of the Tresslyn women he could not but feel as well as see.
There was a distinct line between them, a line that it would take generations to cross. Still, she was a loyal, warm-hearted enduring creature, and by qualities such as these she mounted to a much higher plane than Anne Tresslyn could ever hope to attain, despite her position on the opposite side of the line. He had never seen George's wife in anything but a blithe, confident mood; she was an unbeaten little warrior who kept her colours flying in the face of a despot called Fate. In fact, she was worthy of a better man than young Tresslyn, worthy of the steel of a n.o.bler foe than his mother.
He was eager to comfort her. ”It is pretty fine of George, sending you these flowers every day. I am getting a new light on him. Has he ever suggested to you in any way the possibility of-of-well, you know what I mean?”
”Fixing it up again between us?” she supplied, an eager light in her eyes.
”No, never, Dr. Thorpe. He has never spoken to me, never written a line to me. That's fine of him too. He loves me, I'm sure of it, and he wants me, but it _is_ fine of him not to bother me, now isn't it? He knows he could drag me back into the muddle, he knows he could make a fool of me, and yet he will not take that advantage of me.”
”Would you go back to him if he asked you to do so?”
”I suppose so,” she sighed. Then brightly: ”So, you see, I shall refuse to see him if he ever comes to plead. That's the only way. We must go our separate ways, as decreed. I am his wife but I must not so far forget myself as to think that he is my husband. I know, Dr. Thorpe, that if we had been left alone, we could have managed somehow. He was young, but so was I. I am not quite impossible, am I? Don't these friends of yours like me, don't they find something worth while in me? If I were as common, as undesirable as Mrs. Tresslyn would have me to be, why do people of your kind like me,-take me up, as the saying is? I know that I don't really belong, I know I'm not just what they are, but I'm not so awfully hopeless, now am I? Isn't Mrs. Fenn a nice woman? Doesn't she go about in the smart set?”
She appeared to be pleading with him. He smiled.
”Mrs. Fenn is a very nice woman and a very smart one,” he said. ”You have many exceedingly nice women among your friends. So be of good cheer, if that signifies anything to you.” He was chaffing her in his most amiable way.
”It signifies a lot,” she said seriously. ”By rights, I suppose, I should have gone to the devil. That's what was expected of me, you know. When I took all that money from Mrs. Tresslyn, it wasn't for the purpose of beating my way to the devil as fast as I could. I took it for an entirely different reason: to put myself where I could tell other people to go to him if I felt so inclined. I took it so that I could make of myself, if possible, the sort of woman that George Tresslyn might have married without stirring up a row in the family. I've taken good care of all that money. It is well invested. I manage to live and dress on the income.
Rather decent of me, isn't it? Surprisingly decent, you might say, eh?”
”Surprisingly,” he agreed, smiling.
”What George Tresslyn needs, Dr. Thorpe, is something to work for, something to make work an object to him. What has he got to work for now?
Nothing, absolutely nothing. He's merely keeping up appearances, and he'll never get anywhere in G.o.d's world until he finds out that it's a waste of time working for a living that's already provided for him.”
Thorpe was impressed by this quaint philosophy. ”Would you, in your wisdom, mind telling me just what you think George would be capable of doing in order to earn a living for two people instead of one?”
She looked at him in surprise. ”Why, isn't he big and strong and hasn't he a brain and a pair of hands? What more can a man require in this little old age? A big, strapping fellow doesn't have to sit down and say 'What in heaven's name am I to do with these things that G.o.d has given me?' Doesn't a blacksmith earn enough for ten sometimes, and how about the carpenter, the joiner and the man who brings the ice? Didn't I earn a living up to the time I burnt my fingers and had to be pensioned for dishonourable service? It didn't take much strength or intelligence to demonstrate mustard, did it? And you sit there and ask me what George is capable of doing! Why, he could do _anything_ if he had to.”
”You are really a very wonderful person,” said he, with conviction. ”I believe you could have made a man of George if you'd had the chance.”
She looked down. ”I suppose the world thinks I made him what he is now, so what's the use speculating? Let's talk about you for awhile. Miss McKane won't be back for a few minutes, so let's chat some more. Didn't I hear you tell her yesterday that you expect to leave for London about the first?”
”If you are up and about,” said he.
She hesitated, a slight frown on her brow. ”Do you know that you are pale and tired-looking, Dr. Thorpe? Have you looked in the gla.s.s at yourself lately?”
”Regularly,” he said, forcing a smile. ”I shave once a day, and I-”
”I'm serious. You don't look happy. You may confide in me, Doctor. I think you ought to talk to some one about it. Are you still in love with Miss Tresslyn? Is that what's taking the colour out-”
”I am not in love with Miss Tresslyn,” he said, meeting her gaze steadily.
”That is all over. I will confess that I have been dreadfully hurt, terribly shocked. A man doesn't get over such things easily or quickly. I will not pretend that I am happy. So, if that explains my appearance to you, Mrs. Tresslyn, we'll say no more about it.”
Her eyes filled with tears. ”Oh, I'm sorry if I've-if I've meddled,-if I've been too-”
”Don't worry,” he broke in quickly. ”I don't in the least mind. In fact, I'm glad you gave me the opportunity to say in so many words that I do not love her. I've never said it before. I'm glad that I have said it. It helps, after all.”
”You'll be happy yet,” she sniffled. ”I know you will. The world is full of good, n.o.ble women, and there's one somewhere who will make you glad that this thing has happened to you. Now, we'll change the subject. Miss McKane may pop in at any moment, you know. Have you any new patients?”
He smiled again. ”No. You are my sole and only, Mrs. Fenn can't persuade Rumsey to have a thing done to him, and Simmy Dodge refuses to break his neck for scientific purposes, so I've given up hope. I shall take no more cases. In a year I may come back from London and then I'll go snooping about for nice little persons like you who-”