Part 36 (1/2)
CHAPTER XIX
MARRIAGE
In that atmosphere of perfect bliss G.o.dfrey's cure was quick. For bliss it was, save only that there was another bliss beyond to be attained.
Remember that this man, now approaching middle life, had never drunk of the cup of what is known as love upon the earth.
Some might answer that such is the universal experience; that true, complete love has no existence, except it be that love of G.o.d to which a few at last attain, since in what we know as G.o.d completeness and absolute unity can be found alone. Other loves all have their flaws, with one exception perhaps, that of the love of the dead which fondly we imagine to be unchangeable. For the rest pa.s.sion, however exalted, pa.s.ses or at least becomes dull with years; the most cherished children grow up, and in so doing, by the law of Nature, grow away; friends are estranged and lost in their own lives.
Upon the earth there is no perfect love; it must be sought elsewhere, since having the changeful shadows, we know there is a sky wherein s.h.i.+nes the sun that casts them.
G.o.dfrey, as it chanced, omitting Isobel, had walked little even in these sweet shadows. There were but three others for whom he had felt devotion in all his days, Mrs. Parsons, his tutor, Monsieur Boiset, and his friend, Arthur Thorburn, who was gone. Therefore to him Isobel was everything. As a child he had adored her; as a woman she was his desire, his faith and his wors.h.i.+p.
If this were so with him, still more was it the case with Isobel, who in truth cared for no other human being. Something in her nature prevented her from contracting violent female friends.h.i.+ps, and to all men, except a few of ability, each of them old enough to be her father, she was totally indifferent; indeed most of them repelled her. On G.o.dfrey, and G.o.dfrey alone, from the first moment she saw him as a child she had poured all the deep treasure of her heart. He was at once her divinity and her other self, the segment that completed her life's circle, without which it was nothing but a useless, broken ring.
So much did this seem to her to be so, that notwithstanding her lack of faith in matters beyond proof and knowledge, she never conceived of this pa.s.sion of hers as having had a beginning, or of being capable of an end. This contradictory woman would argue against the possibility of any future existence, yet she was quite certain that her love for G.o.dfrey _had_ a future existence, and indeed one that was endless. When at length he put it to her that her att.i.tude was most illogical, since that which was dead and dissolved could not exist in any place or shape, she thought for a while and replied quietly:
”Then I must be wrong.”
”Wrong in what?” asked G.o.dfrey.
”In supposing that we do not live after death. The continuance of our love I _know_ to be beyond any doubt, and if it involves our continuance as individual ent.i.ties--well, then we continue, that is all.”
”We might continue as a single ent.i.ty,” he suggested.
”Perhaps,” she answered, ”and if so this would be better still, for it must be impossible to lose one another while that remained alive, comprising both.”
Thus, and in these few words, although she never became altogether orthodox, or took quite the same view of such mysteries as did G.o.dfrey, Isobel made her great recantation, for which probably there would never have been any need had she been born in different surroundings and found some other spiritual guide in youth than Mr. Knight. As the cruelties and the narrow bitterness of the world had bred unfaith in her, so did supreme love breed faith, if of an unusual sort, since she learned that without the faith her love must die, and the love she knew to be immortal. Therefore the existence of that living love presupposed all the rest, and convinced her, which in one of her obstinate nature nothing else could possibly have done, no, not if she had seen a miracle. Also this love of hers was so profound and beautiful that she felt its true origin and ultimate home must be elsewhere than on the earth.
That was why she consented to be married in church, somewhat to G.o.dfrey's surprise.
In due course, having practically recovered his health, G.o.dfrey appeared before a Board in London which pa.s.sed him as fit for service, but gave him a month's leave. With this doc.u.ment he returned to Hawk's Hall, and there showed it to Isobel.
”And when the month is up?” she asked, looking at him.
”Then I suppose I shall have to join my regiment, unless they send me somewhere else.”
”A month is a very short time,” she went on, still looking at him and turning a little pale.
”Yes, dear, but lots can happen in it, as we found out in France. For instance,” he added, with a little hesitation, ”we can get married, that is, if you wish.”
”You know very well, G.o.dfrey, that I have wished it for quite ten years.”
”And you know very well, Isobel, that I have wished it--well, ever since I understood what marriage was. How about to-morrow?” he exclaimed, after a pause.
She laughed, and shook her head.
”I believe, G.o.dfrey, that some sort of license is necessary, and it is past post time. Also it would look scarcely decent; all these people would laugh at us. Also, as there is a good deal of property concerned, I must make some arrangements.”
”What arrangements?” he asked.