Part 3 (2/2)

SEL. (excitedly). Yes, it's Fred's. (He s.n.a.t.c.hes it and claps it on FRED'S head, being too large it ”bonnets” him.)

MRS. S. (in astonishment). Surely, it cannot be!

DIBBS (coming between MR. SELWYN and MRS. SELWYN, aside).

I must pull them through again, or they'll make a mess of it!

(Aloud.) No, sir, _this_ is the hat you brought from the club last night! I know it well, ma'am, name of Tompkins inside--the master left his own behind and brought this one home instead!

Mr. Bellamy was only taking of it back. (Winks at MR. SELWYN; aside.)

SEL. (relieved; aside). This boy's a lovely liar! (Aloud.) Yes!

FRED. Yes!

MRS. S. Why not have said so at first, dear?

SEL. Oh, I was going to, but Dibbs put me out! (Aside to DIBBS.) You shall have a sovereign for that taradiddle!

DIBBS (aside to SELWYN). It was _the truth_!

SEL. So it was! I withdraw my generous offer.

MRS. S. (rapturously gazing at hat). And to think that hat has probably covered the head of the author of ”Midnight Moans.”

FRED (aside to SELWYN). Do you know how many Tompkins's there are in the directory? Two hundred and eighty-nine!

SEL. (taken aback). Two hundred and eighty-nine?

MRS. S. Where does the poet Tompkins live!

SEL. (repeating mechanically). Two hundred and eighty-nine!

MRS. S. Two hundred and eighty-nine--in what street?

SEL. Street--what street?

MRS. S. Why the street where Mr. Tompkins lives!

FRED. Well, I don't know exactly.

MRS. S. You don't know! Then how could you be going to take it back?

FRED (aside to SELWYN). What shall I say?

DIBBS (aside). They want _me_ again! (Aloud.) Oh! ma'am, Mr. Bellamy was going to take it to the club--Mr. Tompkins's address is sure to be known there!

(Exit, R. U. E.

<script>