Chapter 25 (1/2)
Chapter 25: No do, will die.
Fun fact: I think this book is based on the author, Gu Xi Jie’s own life so Xiao Di and Xu Wei Yu are in fact very real! Gu Xi Jie sure is lucky!
On the first day of the holidays, Wei Yu was phoning his friend, “I got a little machine part on my car changed and they want 4000 dollars, the part that’s been replaced can’t even sell for 40 cents as recycled iron!”
Afterwards, his friend said something and he laughed coldly, “I have no money.” Then after thinking about it, “But my wife does, hehe.”
I was thinking, I was always walking in the dark, when did I turn rich? When I heard him continue: “That’s right ah, I’m saying this just to make you angry that you have no wife to ache over you, how about it? Hahahahaha! Feels good!”
The car needed servicing so Xu Wei Yu phoned the shop to book a time: “h.e.l.lo, a x.x.x model, the plate number is …… I’m coming tomorrow afternoon.”
The other person paused for a while then said, “Sorry, you have phoned the wrong number. This is the call centre for administration services, do you need any services?”
I thought he’d hang up but he immediately asked, “What kind of services do you have?”
“Hourly labourers, nannies etc.”
Thus, he called an hourly worker to come tomorrow and do general clean of the house. Satisfied, he hung up.
I looked at him for a long while and couldn’t help but be suspicious, this guys’ ‘wrong phone number’ is intentional right? How lazy.
The next day, after the labourer had left, Wei Yu was watching TV when his co-worker called. He was too lazy so he pressed the speaker mode and put the phone on the table. A girl on TV was just shouting, “Don’t leave, I was wrong, please don’t leave!!”
The caller asked in a small voice: “Are you fighting with your wife?”
Wei Yu: “Nope.”
Caller: “Oh, scared me to death. I had wanted to say, if you were fighting with your wife, then you don’t need to come to work tomorrow and save us from being vented on and suffer from life threatening danger.”
Me, who was sitting next to him was completely speechless.
Afterwards, I asked Xu Wei Yu: “Have you vented out anger at work?”
“Nope.” He said, “I just said that if one day I got a divorce, you guys have to remember to lock all the weapons, I just said this one line.”
“……”
For Notional Day, my family went to a restaurant to eat with Xu Wei Yu’s family.
When we walked in the restaurant, I heard Wei Yu say to his father: “Can you help me settle my fine?” His father resolutely said: “No.”
Afterwards, he started pouring his father alcohol. When his father was drunk, he patted his son’s shoulder and said: “Even when drunk, we only help order, not family.”
We Yu put down the bottle resolutely and turned to my dad, “Dad, is it still possible to adopt a son?”
This punk really isn’t scared of any elders. My dad was usually stern but even he laughed.
What a funny fellow.
On the road home, I said to him: “I saw you drink, let me drive, you lie back and rest.”
“It was only two cups. Plus, it’s no problem in the city area.”
“More than half of your fines are from the city area okay?”
Wei Yu turned gloomy: “Don’t be so direct. Oh yeah, darling, can you lend your license to me? I don’t think I have enough points to deduct……”
“……” I sternly criticised him, “Next time be more careful!”
“Definitely will!”
“What will you do if you get fined again?”
“Borrow from you again!”
“……” After talking so much, it was a waste.
In the holidays, I accompanied Wei Yu and his friend to look at cars. Wei Yu had already established in his friend circle and mine, a ‘car professional’ nickname. When we walked in, we walked around. In the end, Wei Yu stopped in front of a black, fierce looking car, and asked, “How about this car?”
The car dealer: “It can definitely be driven!”
Everyone around us became quiet. Even that car dealer realised his mistake but Wei Yu continued to pretend to be serious and nodded, “Mhm, not bad, notbad.”
“……”
At night, we went to bathhouse for a bath. I finished my bath first and waited in the big hall for Xu Wei Yu. After waiting for half an hour, he still didn’t appear.
Later, I found out that this guy had fainted……After he fainted, he was brought to the changing rooms. A male worker was holding an electric fan next to him. After he woke up, he shouted in a muddle: “I don’t want any special services!” Apparently everyone around him laughed like crazy.
After we got on the car, he leaned over and used my sleeve to wipe his pretend tears, “Someone was seen through by others, wife, after we get back you have to comfort my heart.”