Part 13 (2/2)

Some time later my father told me that he received this letter one morning before breakfast, and that although the letter was very lengthy, he sat down by the cook-stove and read it through. He said he marveled at it, for he had not believed that I was capable of writing the things that it contained. I do not remember what all I wrote, but I do praise G.o.d that the letter had the desired effect. Strange to say, though tobacco was not mentioned in the letter, yet when he had finished reading it, he thrust his hand into his pocket and seizing the thing that had almost become his constant companion, and holding it up before throwing it into the fire, said to my mother, with the tears streaming down his face, ”I'll never touch it again if it kills me.” Thank G.o.d, who had enabled him to make that determined decision. It meant much to him and was indeed a good beginning of his complete surrender to G.o.d.

I had seen him try many times to quit using this thing that had so enslaved him. He had even gone as long as six months without it in his earnest efforts to break loose; but, sad to say, at the end of that time he had come to the end of his strength, and, not having G.o.d to help him, he was compelled, it seemed, to fully surrender again to the enemy and thus become more deeply enslaved. Now his decision was very definite, and in response to his earnest entreaties to the Lord, the abnormal appet.i.te was removed.

The tone of his letter received a few days later indicated to me that he was under a weight of conviction and was ready and willing to humble his heart before the Lord. As there was soon to be a meeting, he said in his letter, ”Daughter, will you please have those good brethren and sisters pray for me? The Bible tells us that the effectual fervent prayer of the righteous man availeth much.” Portions of his letter were read to the congregation, and earnest, fervent prayer was offered in his behalf.

At the close of the meeting the minister and his wife accompanied me home for the purpose of imparting spiritual help to my father. Upon our arrival we found Father anxious to know the will of G.o.d, that he might find real rest to his soul, if possible. He listened attentively to the conversation and instruction, but it seemed that he was bound. He had a desire to pray, but said it seemed that he could not do so. He also said: ”The Bible tells us that we shall know that we have pa.s.sed from death unto life because we love the brethren, and now I must know it.”

We a.s.sured him that it was possible for him to have such knowledge, but that it must come through faith.

After spending much time in prayer and earnest efforts to help him, we had to let the case rest, and retired for the night heavily burdened for the deliverance of his soul. The next morning at breakfast I could see that my poor father was suffering, and his expression and pallor showed that he had spent a hard, restless night. Surely the Lord was granting the request made to me previously by letter, that he might have a deep conviction. His appet.i.te being gone, he soon left the table.

THE SURRENDER

Arrangements had been made for him to take the minister and his wife to the city, a distance of fifteen miles, where they were to begin a series of meetings. He went to the barn to prepare for the trip, and while doing his ch.o.r.es, he started with a pitchfork of hay to the hack, but his heart was so heavy and the burden of sin so great that in the blackness of despair he cried out, ”O Lord! if I drop into h.e.l.l the next moment, let me go. I can't stand this any longer”; and, dropping his fork, he sank to the ground on his face pleading for help. The Friend that ”sticketh closer than a brother” was right at his side. He heard that cry, for almost immediately my father was up rejoicing and laughing. ”You are mocking G.o.d,” was his first thought, and quite dumbfounded he dropped on his face again and tried to cry and plead as he had just been doing, but it was impossible. His heart was so light and the burden so completely gone that he could not remain prostrate longer.

Now, strange to say, this great change was all so simple and so sudden that the dear man could not comprehend at the time the glorious fact that he had just been ”born again,” had just ”pa.s.sed from death unto life.” Still wondering over his changed condition, he finished his morning ch.o.r.es. He led two frisky colts out to water and afterward remarked how unusually well they behaved on this eventful morning. While they drank, he stood looking up into the heavens, then out upon the meadows and general surroundings. How beautiful everything appeared in the beginning of this new day! Suddenly there came into his heart such a love for the brethren that he wanted to rush into the house at once; but, having those colts, he had first to return to the barn. Then he came hastily to the house.

Instead of being so borne down and dejected, he came rus.h.i.+ng through the front door laughing heartily. As he caught sight of me, the reality of the situation dawned upon him, and he rejoiced in this new-found life--real Bible salvation. He stretched out his arms to me over a rocker that stood between us and exclaimed as he embraced me, ”O daughter, I believe!” Before he could say anything more on account of his great rejoicing, with a feeling of deep love and fellows.h.i.+p he reached one hand to Brother B. on the couch and the other to Sister B. in a rocker near the stove. Then he said, ”Let us pray.” As we knelt in real thanksgiving and praise, he began to pour out his heart in grat.i.tude to G.o.d for salvation. Indeed, he was no longer bound by Satan but was free--yes, a new creature in Christ Jesus. When we arose rejoicing, even the unsaved members of the family felt the mighty power of G.o.d and gathered around weeping as we rejoiced and praised the Lord for this great victory.

MY OWN STRUGGLES AND VICTORIES

Now I wish to add just a few thoughts more in conclusion. All people do not receive this glorious experience in just the same way, or always manifest it as did my father. It was not my privilege at the time of my conversion to have the great flood of good feelings that he enjoyed; but instead I let my faith waver, and shortly after being saved I became seriously troubled with doubts and accusations. Just after my father had been rejoicing so happily, the devil almost crushed me with the thought that perhaps, after all, I had never been saved, as I had never realized such an experience as he had realized.

Could it be possible, I thought, that even though I have been so burdened for my father and have prayed so earnestly for him that I am not saved and never have been? The very thought almost made me faint-hearted.

Then I remembered that the minister and others had confidence in me, and I knew that my life was completely changed, as I had really lost the desire for worldly pleasure, which I once so much enjoyed, and had become interested in the things of G.o.d. In reading my Bible, I saw that my life measured to its teachings so far as I understood. Therefore I took courage and tried to banish these accusations and leave my case with G.o.d.

But the enemy did not forget me, and it seemed that I should be drawn back into his whirlpool of doubts in spite of myself, more especially as I listened to my father in the next few weeks telling others about salvation. It was evident that he thought every one must obtain an experience of salvation in the same manner that he obtained it. My case was so different that finally I could suppress my feelings no longer, and boldly confessed to him one day that my experience was not like his and that if it ought to be I was not saved. Never shall I forget that moment. It meant so much to me. I wondered if he would lose confidence in my profession and if it was really true, and if it could possibly be true, that I was yet unsaved. These serious questionings were soon banished from my mind, for he looked at me and said, ”Daughter, I know you are saved. Your life has proved it.” Thank G.o.d, he did not doubt it; so I took courage and with a mighty effort put the accuser to flight again.

This experience was good for my father, as it had a tendency to balance him so that he would not be too exacting with others. Since that time other members of our family have sought G.o.d for the pardon of their sins, and with some of them the new life came in a calm, peaceful way, rather than with such emotional manifestations. The leadings of the Lord are wonderful, and the riches of his grace in the Christian life are inexhaustible.

My Spiritual Struggles and Victories

EXPERIENCE NUMBER 21

I was reared on one of the hilliest, stumpiest, and stoniest Canadian farms I have ever seen. How vividly there come to my mind my boyhood experiences of chopping cord-wood to pay my high-school expenses; of stumping, logging, and picking stones until the skin was worn off my fingers and the stones were stained with my blood. I then thought that mine was a very hard life, but I have long since looked back to those boyhood experiences as G.o.d's way of providing me with a physique that has enabled me to serve three years as a missionary in British North America, where the winds were intensely cold and where I was once for twenty-four hours lost in a blizzard at forty-five degrees below zero.

In sharp contrast, I have been twenty-eight years in India's tropical heat. This was a preparation for my life-work and in my judgment is G.o.d's general method with all his people.

When I was a boy of ten summers, a boyhood friend of my father's visited him. They were taking a walk, and, unnoticed, I followed them. Then I overheard my father's friend praise my brothers and sisters, but say of me, ”Frank will never amount to much.” My father vigorously protested and sang my praises until I made this resolution: ”I must not disappoint my father. I will do something worthy of consideration.” That hour I was intellectually awakened.

Parents, let your young people know that you believe in them. About the same time our pastor preached a missionary sermon, at the end of which he circulated a subscription. When the paper came to me, I said to my father, ”May I subscribe?” He replied, ”If you earn and pay your own money, you may.” I subscribed one dollar. I had it earned long before the collectors came around, and wished either that I had subscribed more or that the collectors might come soon. That subscription was the beginning which ended in my giving myself. Parents, give your children a chance to link themselves definitely with Jesus in saving a lost world.

MY CONVERSION

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