Part 79 (1/2)

She watched in apprehension as I approached with the items in my arms. I dropped them at her feet in the gra.s.s. She took a deep breath, let it out in one long stream, and reached out to touch the gag with her toe. It required a bit of balancing on her part, but she did it anyway.

She licked her lips. ”I. I don't want to be gagged.”

I touched her red lips and traced them gently.

”Does it matter what you want anymore?”

A tear slipped from her eye as she looked at me. She slowly shook her head. If I wanted her gagged, she would be, and however reluctantly she'd accept it.

”I'm scared,” she whispered.

”You should be. Means you are still sane,” I answered her as I gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. I had meant to get her lips, but she turned her head at the last moment.

She looked back at me after I'd withdrawn. The words seemed to make her feel better. I could almost see the thoughts going through her mind. She could have had anything she wanted. A rest in a nice soft bed. A nice meal. Even a walk in the park. Instead, she had chosen to be here. Handcuffed and stretched on a tree, waiting for the pain to begin. I watched as she s.h.i.+vered.

I bent and picked up the crop. Her eyes followed it with extreme trepidation.

”I'll do whatever you want,” she whispered. ”You don't have to punish me for whatever I did ...”

Still looking into her eyes, I let the crop fall hard onto her thighs. The dress didn't provide much protection for her and she wasn't expecting the blow. She cried out more in surprise than anything else.

”Ow. s.h.i.+t. That f.u.c.king hurts. I'd forgotten. s.h.i.+t.”

Her legs danced through the gra.s.s as she tried her best to pull out of the handcuffs. I was certain that she was really going to hurt her wrists if I left her in her current restraints. At least she would if I was going to be tormenting her as much as I intended.

I smiled at her as she tried to control the pain in her legs.

”I thought that you were going to control your screams.”

”Oh s.h.i.+t. I'm sorry. I. This slave forgot. Please give her another chance. Hit her again, she'll be quiet. Oh G.o.d, please don't punish her for it.”

”We made a deal ...”

”I. She knows. Oh G.o.d. She's sorry. Your slave was surprised. She didn't mean to scream.”

She had regained most of her composure. She was still hurting, I could see it in her eyes, but she was determined not to scream on the next two punishments. One way or the other, I considered, I wanted to break her of that promise. Just for fun. She would scream.

”Alright. You can have another chance.”

”Oh G.o.d. Thank-you.”

She wouldn't be thanking me later.

I bent and retrieved the scissors, dropping the crop back to the gra.s.s. Her eyes widened at the sight of the sharp blades. I held the instrument up in front of her face, waving them slightly.

She licked her lips and spoke softly. ”Can a slave speak?”

I nodded.

She seemed to be struggling with something internal, but she arrived at a decision. She opened her mouth and closed it again. Finally she opened her mouth and spoke softly.

”This slave. She has to tell you something. She doesn't want you to get angry with her, though.”

I considered it. ”I can't promise you anything.”

”Please don't get angry with me. I mean ... angry with your slave. She's sorry and she didn't know what she was doing ...”

I was curious now what was going on in her pretty head. She squirmed against the restraints in front of me, knowing that I was about to cut the dress from her body. Perhaps, she was stalling me, not wanting to part with her only possession. I could understand that.

”Jane? Better tell me quick, before I get tired of this and gag you.”

”No. Please. I. This ...” her voice trailed off.

”It's alright. Drop the slave talk.”

She looked a little relieved. ”Please. Master. I. I'm frightened. And I don't want to make it worse on me than it is. But I have to tell you the truth. I don't know why. But I have to.”

I stepped back, lowering the scissors to my side. I looked at her quizzically, not really knowing what to expect.

She continued hesitantly, ”Those scissors ... I can't do this.”

I glanced at Christi who was shaking her head at Jane, obviously telling her not to continue whatever it was she was going to do. Jane ignored her and spoke in a whisper.

”The first night after you took me. In the morning. I made breakfast. Remember?”

I nodded slowly.

Jane continued, her words rus.h.i.+ng out of her mouth now. ”Christi let me free in the morning to make breakfast and ... and ... and I picked up the scissors you'd left. I. I was going to stab you. And I couldn't. Christi was begging me not to, and I couldn't. Even though you'd put me through h.e.l.l. I don't know why. I couldn't do it. Oh G.o.d, please don't stab me.”

I had no idea what kind of bravery that took. She didn't have to tell me that. I had forgiven her that long ago. I'd forgiven it almost as soon as I heard it from Christi's mouth so long ago. I'd watched her a bit more carefully and never understood it. But here she was, more vulnerable than ever before, stretched on her bare feet to a tree, knowing that I was going to punish her, and she braved to tell me the truth. It almost brought tears to my eyes. She was so strong, and so confused. I resolved that I wouldn't punish her for it, no matter what.

I licked my lips. ”I. I know, Janey.”

She looked confused and glanced over at Christi still kneeling in the gra.s.s. I hurriedly continued, lying for Christi.

”She didn't tell me, though she would have if I'd asked. I wasn't asleep,” I lied to her.

Jane's eyes s.h.i.+fted back to my face. ”You knew?”

”Of course, I knew. Why do you think you were more actively restrained on the next nights than you were that first night?”

She took a deep breath. ”You never punished me for it, though.”

”I understood. And you stopped. I never quite understood it, but you never tried again, to my knowledge.”

”I didn't. I wouldn't.”

I stepped over and gave her a kiss again. This time she didn't turn her head. When I broke the kiss, she was breathing harder and she spoke quietly.

”I'm glad I didn't.”