Part 5 (2/2)

When Ricky was awake, she offered little more than blank expressions, distant stares, and prompted responses to questions. She was able to give brief answers when asked something directly and seemed to almost recognize everyone who came to see her, even though she never said anything.

She treated Alice the same way she treated all of her visitors, with no acknowledgment that she was anything more than just a vaguely familiar face. Joe was there too, feeling as uncertain and out of place as Alice did. Alice found him sitting at the keyboard in Rickyas music room hitting keys with his right hand.

aHow long is her old man staying?a he asked. aDoesnat he have to work or something?a Alice offered a weak smile. Joe didnat care too much for Henry Conrad either these days. aHeas back and forth almost as much as I am.a aI guess sheas getting better,a he said. aItas hard to tell.a aWeall have her back soon.a Alice caught an early flight to New Orleans the next morning and felt a renewed uneasiness come over her. Just how long will it take before the old Ricky is back? she wondered.

Once in her new office, Alice immediately threw herself into her work. New job. New faces. New problems. She held meetings with her department heads and managers and was well aware of the resentment her youth presented to several of the older employees. She poured on the calm, sedate exterior and stuck to the straightforward approach, which effectively forestalled any trouble.

Alice got reports on Ricky over the phone every few hours or so while she was away. The merger was complete, and Alice was totally in charge and running on empty. Henry had mentioned earlier how Rickyas appet.i.te had returned and how she even initiated conversation occasionally. Her marathon naps had become less frequent, and the blank stares were now only sporadic.

aI told her about Stan this morning,a Henry said when Alice called that afternoon. aJoeas with her now.a aHowad she take it?a aItas hard to say. Sheas so quiet.a aDoes she understand whatas going on?a Alice asked.

aShe seems to.a Alice hung up and leaned her head back against her chair. Sheas getting better, d.a.m.n it. Youall have her here in another week.

Whenever Alice called, Sharon claimed that Ricky had just fallen asleep again. Alice continued asking questions until she got the answers she wanted. Ricky was doing better and was even beginning to take short walks now.

Alice glanced at her watch and started packing for New York. She had to catch a plane in a little over an hour. She tried to call when she got to the airport and once again when her plane landed in New York, but Ricky was asleep both times. Alice finally got to talk to her the next morning.

ah.e.l.lo,a came that early-morning croak.

Alice held the phone for a moment while tears formed in the corners of her eyes. The sound of that sleepy, husky voice almost took her breath away. Alice cleared her throat and cursed her father one more time for sending her on this hopeless search for fas.h.i.+on merchandising expertise.

aGood morning,a Alice said finally, so br.i.m.m.i.n.g with emotion that she could barely speak. aHow do you feel?a aIam okay. Jesus, itas good to hear your voice.a There was no way Alice could hold the tears back now. They flowed freely before she could reach for a Kleenex to stop them. aG.o.d, Ricky,a she whispered with a sniff. aI thought Iad lost you.a She eased down on the edge of the hard hotel bed. aYou sound so good. I can hardly believe it.a aEvery bone in my body still hurts, and Sharonas driving me positively crazy. Other than that, Iam fine.a aJust put up with her for a few more days.a Alice dabbed her eyes again in an attempt to save her mascara. Iave got her back, she thought as the familiar fluttering in her stomach returned.

aI...Iave lost my band,a Ricky said after a moment. aStan...a Whatever else she was going to say never materialized.

aIam so sorry, baby.a Alice sniffed again. aI know you miss him. I miss him too.a aItas more than that...itas...a aJust try and get well,a Alice said. aThatas the important thing right now. When youare able to travel Iam coming to get you.a aI canat let you do that,a Ricky whispered. aYouare not ready for me like this. Iam not ready for me like this.a Alice felt her body tense as a tingling sensation raced through her. aWhat does that mean?a aI woke up to nothing, Alice. No band. No future. No Stan. Nothing.a aYou have me.a aAnd what do you have?a aI have you. We have each other.a aYouave got a lover who sleeps all day and can barely tie her shoes at the moment.a aIall tie them for you. Donat do this, Ricky.a aMy bandas gone, Alice. Donat you realize what that means? Thereas this big chunk of me thatas missing now. Iam no good to either of us this way. Not yet. I need to get my s.h.i.+t together first.a aYouall get your s.h.i.+t together with me,a Alice said. aThatas what lovers do. Thatas what itas all about. Iall help you.a There was a pause, and Alice could hear Ricky breathing on the other end.

aI donat want you to see me this way,a Ricky whispered. aFloundering around. Waking up in the morning with no place to go. No rehearsals or gigs or job. No nothing.a Her voice trailed off into that hoa.r.s.e hollow sound that Alice knew so well. aI was a somebody when we found each other, and I have to get that back.a Alice heard the determination in Rickyas voice, and didnat like it at all. aYouare a somebody now, for crissake!a aYouare not listening to me,a Ricky said with a sigh.

aBecause youare not making any sense.a Alice stuffed the Kleenex in her skirt pocket. aDo you think youare the only one hurting here? Iam hurting too. The accident affected a lot of people, Ricky. We all lost something because of it.a She rubbed the bridge of her nose and could almost feel the tension pressing against her fingertips. aAs soon as youare well enough, youare coming to New Orleans. Thatas settled right now, okay? I want to take care of you. I need to take care of you. For once in your life let someone do something for you.a aThis is different, Al. If I went to New Orleans with you, Iad be everything Christine thinks I already am. Iall never let that happen.a aSo what are you saying? And what the h.e.l.l does Christine have to do with this?a aIam not ready to go to New Orleans yet. I just need some time.a Alice closed her eyes and ma.s.saged her temples. She knew she could talk her into anything once they were together again. A little rest and some creative pampering would do Ricky a world of good. All I want is to be able to hold her, Alice thought. Everything else will take care of itself.

Part Three.

Ricky.

Chapter Thirteen.

During her first week away at the beach, Ricky did nothing but sleep. Her headaches werenat so bad, but she was constantly aware of a worn, abused body that hadnat fully recovered from the accident. Once she finally dragged herself out of bed and began going for walks again, she started feeling better.

She couldnat remember anything about the accident, but the shock of losing her band was with her every waking moment. Even more unsettling than a few bruises and the dull ache in her head were the tears that came without warning. She almost preferred those marathon naps. At least in her sleep she didnat cry.

She had rented a weather-beaten cottage right away and forced herself to get dressed every morning. The accommodations were spa.r.s.e but adequate: bedroom, kitchenette, bathroom, and color TV. Shead emptied one of her savings accounts before leaving San Antonio, so money wouldnat be a problem for a while. Paying for things with cash seemed like a good idea since she knew people would be looking for her once they realized she was gonea”her father, Alice, Joe, and probably even Doraa”but she wasnat ready to see anyone yet, and she wasnat quite sure how long it would take before any of that changed.

Everything was still so confusing. Ricky never knew what day it was any longer, and she missed Alice more than she ever thought possible. So many things had been left unfinished, as if shead started a good book only to lose it after a few chapters. Nothing seemed to make sense, and she was convinced that with the music gone, so was that vital part of her life, that spark that had always made everything good between her and Alice. The band was what had made their connection work. Ricky couldnat imagine life without Alice or life without her band. They were inseparable somehow, each unable to stand alone on their own merits.

Ricky sat down on the warm concrete bench and looked out at the water. The Gulf breeze was strong and whipped the hair out of her eyes. Stan was dead and shead been robbed of the chance to say good-bye to him. The emptiness was overwhelming. Hot Check would never play another song together. Theread been no farewell performance. No last verse. No final chord. Ricky leaned back and rested her head on the top of the bench. She was tired of crying and too numb to think about it any more.

A few days later Ricky came back from another long walk on the beach. It was Sat.u.r.day, the beginning of her second week there, and she was still tired all the time. The soreness was gone and her bruises had faded, but her clothes were loose on her small frame.

The weekends were the hardest. Not a minute went by that she didnat think of Alice or the band. None of that was getting any easier yet.

She took a shower and ran a brush through her hair. She gathered up all the spare change she could find and stuffed it in her pocket.

The hum of a clothes dryer made her feel less lonely as she separated coins into stacks and lined them up along the window near the pay phone. Joe answered on the fifth ring, and Ricky was so nervous that her knuckles were white from gripping the receiver so hard.

aHi,a she said. She leaned against the phone attached to the dirty wall; she hadnat realized until then that she was crying again.

aRicky?a he said. aWhere the h.e.l.l are you?a aItas Sat.u.r.day, Joe.a She couldnat say anything else. She didnat need to say anything else. Joe would know what Sat.u.r.days had meant for them: packed clubs and a natural high from shared energy. Sat.u.r.days had always been special.

aHey, itas okay,a he said gently. aItas okay. Where are you?a She brushed the tears away with the back of her hand. aGetting my s.h.i.+t together isnat as easy as I thought it would be.a aWhere are you?a he asked again. aJust tell me. Iall be there in a heartbeat.a aIam real tired, Joe. The days are all running together.a aYou have to call Alice. Sheas frantic, Ricky. Sheas a d.a.m.n basket case.a aI canat,a she said. Just hearing Aliceas name started an aching in her chest. aIave gotta go.a aNo! Donat hang up! Whatas your number? Where are you?a aI canat talk right now. Iall call you later.a She hung up and gathered the rest of her change and stuffed it in her pocket. She dried her eyes on her s.h.i.+rtsleeve and went back to the beach.

Joe tore his house up looking for Aliceas telephone number in New Orleans. He called her as soon as he found it, but there was no answer at her apartment. He didnat think shead be at the office on a Sat.u.r.day morning, but he gave it a try anyway. Her secretary said she was there, but in a meeting.

aTell her itas Joe and itas very important.a Alice was on the line several seconds later. aWhatas wrong? Have you found her?a aShe called me a few minutes ago.a Alice felt certain her heart had stopped beating. She leaned against Gloriaas desk and turned away from her. aWhere is she, Joe?a she asked in a strained, unusually calm voice. aWhere the h.e.l.l is she?a aI donat know. She wouldnat tell me.a aWhat did she say?a aSheas tired and she sounded really down. She fell apart when I mentioned you. s.h.i.+t. You know how she gets when she cries.a Alice was so relieved just hearing that Ricky was all right, that it almost didnat matter that shead called someone else instead of her.

aI guess she still needs more time,a he offered lamely.

aMore time for what? Tell me that! More time for what?a aHow the f.u.c.k do I know? She said shead call me again later.a When Alice hung up she turned to Gloria, who was discretely minding her own business at the computer. aPlease get Dora Martinez on the phone for me,a she said. Her father was waiting in her office, but head just have to wait.

Alice moved to the window and opened the blinds so she could see outside. Tourists with bags in hand cluttered the sidewalk and streets. Her thoughts drifted back to the day a few weeks ago when she had returned from the seminar in New York.

Shead flown to Dallas, at her fatheras request, to brief him on everything she had learned in New York. Alice had been ecstatic about seeing Ricky again, and the meeting her father had insisted on only served to make her impatient and angry. Alice had cut him as short as she dared and caught the next flight out.

The moment she arrived home, she knew something was wrong. Sharon was alone at the condo and very upset.

aHowas Ricky?a Alice had asked. aWhatas the matter?a Sharon just stood near the sofa wringing her hands. aSheas not here. We donat know where she is.a aHas she been going for longer walks? Is she doing better?a aI went out grocery shopping yesterday,a Sharon said, aand when I came back she was gone. Henry and Joe have been looking for her. They were out all last night and all day today.a Alice searched the place in a whirlwind of fury. She went to the music room and noticed that the keyboard Ricky usually worked at was missing. She tore open drawers and closets in their bedroom; some of Rickyas clothes were gone as well. Alice s.n.a.t.c.hed up the note that had been left for her on the neatly made bed. It was brief, written in a hurry, and made absolutely no sense to her whatsoever.

I need some time, Al. I love you. Ricky Alice was still clutching the note when Henry arrived a few minutes later. The mere sight of him infuriated her.

aWhereas my lover?a she asked through clenched teeth.

aI donat know,a he said. His graying hair was scrambled, and his tanned, handsome face had a healthy stubble. aI talked to the police, and they wonat do anything for twenty-four hours. No signs of foul play. She left on her own,a he said as he collapsed on the sofa. aJoe and Iave been up all night looking for her.a aSome of her equipmentas gone,a Alice seethed. aHow could she move all of that stuff by herself without anyone seeing her, for crissake! You promised to take care of her, you son of a b.i.t.c.h!a aDonat blame this on me,a he said, his blue eyes narrowing against her anger. aRickyas got a mind of her own and does pretty much what she wants to!a aShe was unconscious for three days, Henry. She has no business being anywhere but here.a aDonat you think I know that?a he said, his voice rising above hers. aShe was depressed. We did the best we could, so donat stand there accusing me of anything! Where were you all this time?a he countered. aGallivanting around New York doing G.o.d knows what to G.o.d knows who. Donat blame me because you werenat here when she needed you!a Alice turned when she heard Gloria calling her. She went over to the desk and picked up the phone.

aDora,a she said more calmly than she felt. aShe called Joe a few minutes ago, but she wouldnat tell him where she was.a aHer father thinks sheas somewhere in the Corpus area,a Dora said. aThatas where Iam focusing right now, but sheas not making this easy.a aI donat know how much longer I can go on,a Alice whispered. aFind her, Dora. You have to find her.a

Chapter Fourteen.

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