Part 5 (2/2)

First they sang the buzzards' song from the movie The Jungle Book. Then a pop song, ”That's What Friends Are For.” And finally, the song from I Love Lucy (which they said was written by a guy named Cole Porter). My absolute favorite line went like this: ”When other friends.h.i.+ps have been forgot, ours will still be hot!” They finished at five fifty-nine.

One minute left.

I looked at Ashley. Her face looked like a human question mark.

The engineer was signaling me to go on.

Dead air. That's radio talk for silence. You're not supposed to let it happen for more than a second or two.

”Urn,” I said. ”Thank you all for listening.

This is Claudia Kis.h.i.+ and Ashley Wyeth, with 'For Kids Only.' This has been our first show. We hope you tune in Sat.u.r.day.” Forty-three seconds were still left.

Ashley nudged me. I shrugged. That was all I'd planned to say.

You know what I was thinking?

What would Stacey do in a situation like this?

Stacey is about the coolest person I know. She'd know how to handle dead air. She'd just say what was on her mind.

I took a deep breath. ”And, uh, most of all, I hope you enjoyed our . . . theme today,” I said. ”Friends are really important, you know. They're like a special gift. A second family. I guess I'm pretty lucky, because I have lots of friends, and they all live in Stoneybrook. I used to have a best friend, too, but not anymore. I - I really miss her.” Boy, it felt weird admitting that over the air. But it was true.

”Anyway,” I continued, ”maybe she's listening right now. And if she is, I hope she liked the show.” I looked at the clock. Ten seconds left.

”So . . . we'll see you Sat.u.r.day, and don't forget: If you'd like to audition for 'For Kids Only,' just call the station at 555-WSTO. That's all the time we have now. Good night.” Above my head, the red light went off. Bob was beaming. ”I am soooo proud of you/' he said. i I screamed. Ashley screamed. Frank and Tim did a routine of strange high-fives. Bill, Katie, Julie, Jennifer, and the kids were all hugging like crazy.

We mobbed Bob. He shouted for help, but no one listened.

Mr. Bullock walked in with a huge smile. He laughed and laughed.

Me? I had only one regret.

I had brought absolutely no junk food in my backpack.

Chapter 9.

Can you guess why Mallory asked that question? If you think it has something to do with Kristy, you're right.

It also has to do with the Oogly Oogly Beast.

Oogly had become very popular in the Pike house. That Sat.u.r.day, Claire and Margo had begged Mallory to tell them another story.

Mallory was in the middle of one when Kristy arrived.

”Hi, everyone!” Kristy called out, bounding into the den.

Claire glared at her. ”Sssshhh!” ”Hi, Kristy!” Mallory said. ”The boys are outside with Vanessa.” ”Come on. Finish the story,” Claire whined.

”Don't be rude,” Margo warned her.

”Pleeeeease,” Claire said, rolling her eyes.

Kristy headed out of the room, toward the backyard.

” 'Who's been eating my dinner?' roared the Oogly Oogly Beast,” Mallory said. ”Rusty-locks slowly peeked out from behind the entertainment center. 'I did,' she squeaked. Well, the Oogly Oogly Beast's eyes bugged out. The hairs on his shoulders stood on end. Smoke poured from his ears. He gritted his teeth, flexed his claws, and stomped toward Rusty-locks. 'Rrrrrragggh! You must pay for this terrible crime!' he growled. 'But what did I do?' Rusty locks asked. The Beast just roared again and drew his snarling face up to hers.” Mallory paused. She let Claire and Margo sit there for a moment, frozen, their mouths hanging open.

” 'Yoooouuu,' the Oogly snarled. 'Yooouuu neglected to put the plate into the dishwasher. Goodness me, I will simply not tolerate messy housekeeping!' ” Margo and Claire fell off the sofa, laughing.

And Kristy reappeared in the doorway.

”Mallory, it's perfect,” she said.

”Thank you,” Mal replied with a modest smile. ”I - I just made it up.” ”You should write it down. Really. Take my word. It'll help.” ”Help what?” ”For the audition. I think that was my problem. See, the Barrett and DeWitt kids are too young to read, but your brothers and sisters can.” ”Except Claire,” Margo piped up.

”Can tool” Claire retorted. ”I know all the letters!” ”Whoa, hold it,” Mallory said. ”No, Kristy. The answer is no. I can't audition in front of all those people.” ”You were great, Mal!” Kristy said. ”You're a natural performer.” ”Telling stories at home is easy. No way am I going to go on the radio!” (Mallory, as you can guess, is a little shy.) Kristy sat on the arm of the sofa. She looked away, thinking. ”Well, what if I do it, then?” ”No!” Claire cried. ”You can't do it like Mallory.” ”How does he speak?” Kristy scrunched up her face and used a nasal voice. ” 'Uh, excuse me, but this floor is dirty.' Like that?” Margo giggled. ”You sound so dorky.” ”Thank you,” Kristy replied in her Oogly voice.

”Not so exaggerated,” Mallory said. ”Just pretend to be a really fussy person.” Mallory trained Kristy for awhile. Kristy wasn't getting the voice properly, but that didn't seem to matter to her.

Kristy borrowed a notepad and pen from Mal, then ran into the yard. Mal, Claire, and Margo followed closely behind her.

”Who wants to try out for Claudia's show?” Kristy called.

”Meeee!” Round two was about to begin. This time, without a tape recorder.

Kristy sat on the gra.s.s as all seven of Mal's siblings gathered around her. ”Buddy told me you already tried out,” Nicky said, ”and Clau-dia said no.” ”Well, this'll be different,” Kristy insisted. ”She will crack up. We're going to do an Oogly Oogly Beast story.” ”All riiiiight]” Jordan said.

”Okay,” Kristy barged on, ”let's say, the Oogly goes to . . .” ”Disney World!” Vanessa suggested.

”A baseball game!” Adam said.

”The bathroom!” Nicky cried.

Margo groaned. ”Gross, Nicky!” ”How about this?” Kristy said. ”The Oogly Oogly Beast goes to Stoneybrook Elementary School?” ”And eats my teacher!” Byron added.

Claire sneered. ”Eww. Too messy.” Kristy began writing. She recited each word she wrote. ”This ... is ... the . . .story . . . of ... a ... very . . . neat . . . monster.” She laughed. ”Oh, that's a good one. A neat monster. Get it?” Mallory cringed. ”Uh, Kristy?” Kristy just barged on. ”The . . . monster's . . . name . . . was . . . the . . . Oogly . . . Oogly . . . Beast . . . and ... he ... loved ... to ... be ... clean.” After a few minutes of this, Mallory had to go back inside. She couldn't take it any more.

Suddenly her great creation - her very own character - seemed kind of stupid.

As she wandered into her room, she could hear her siblings laughing like crazy outside.

As for me, well, I felt as if my life had been taken over by the show. (Surprised?) On Sat.u.r.day night, our second one had been a little rocky. The theme had been ”Family.” I talked about my family, but when I mentioned Peaches and Mimi, I choked up. I almost blew my nose into the mike (very cool). Then our first act, a brother and sister, arrived ten minutes late because they'd had a fight. I had to switch acts around, and everyone became nervous and began flubbing lines. And I kept speaking too close to the mike, so every time I said a word with the letter P I caused a small explosion.

Plus a couple of our future guests had called to cancel, so we needed to hold more auditions soon.

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