Part 14 (1/2)

'No,' she said after a while. How long had she been sitting there? Ashe was warm and strong and she could hear his heartbeat and his hands around her felt so good she could stay like this for ever. 'No. I want to. You know that, of course. But, no.'

'Very well,' he said, his voice a deep rumble against her ear. 'I see I must be patient. But you will let me know if you change your mind? There are many things that would give us both pleasure that would still allow you to go up the aisle a virgin.'

'Stop it!' Phyllida pushed back against his chest and he let her go. She swung round and got to her feet, retreating to the far side of the room while he remained sitting on the edge of the desk.

'I am merely trying to persuade you of the joys of marriage,' Ashe said mildly.

' Marriage being the operative word! And I do not believe this has anything to do with me and my feelings. You are trying to reconcile yourself to the marriage by telling yourself if the physical side is good, then that is all we need to worry about. Your confounded sense of honour is telling you that you must marry me, but you do not want to. Not with your head-that knows how unsuitable I am-and certainly not with your heart, because I do not believe for a moment that you are in love with me.'

'Love?' Ashe stood up abruptly. 'Why did you have to drag that into it? Why is it that women must imagine all relations.h.i.+ps are about love?'

'I did not drag it in,' she said and felt sick. Because I am so close to loving you. I didn't know it before, but I do now. 'It is one factor in a relations.h.i.+p, that is all. Women talk about love because we understand that emotions are important, too. It is not some sinister plot to entrap the entire male population-why should we want to do that when you men are mostly as insensible to your emotions as an illiterate man is to literature!'

She wrenched the door open, stalked out, shut it behind her, remembering just in time that this was not her house and slamming was out of the question, then realised she had no idea where to go. Her room, if she could find it? Back to the salon to face Ashe's family?

'Are you lost, my dear?'

The lightly accented voice made her jump. 'Lady Eldonstone. I was just wondering where I should go now I have finished with those crates.'

'Let me walk with you up to your room. I am sure you would like to get rid of the dust and the ink stains. Then we can go to Sara's room and see what she has found for you to wear to the masquerade.'

'Thank you, I should like that.'

'And it has the added benefit of removing you from my son before you are moved to tell him he is so impossible you will not marry him,' the marchioness said calmly halfway up the stairs. 'Careful, my dear, you will trip.'

'Ashe is... Lord Clere... That is, we had a slight disagreement, but I am sure it is normal.'

His mother sighed. 'Men are sometimes inclined to think with their heads and certain parts of their anatomy first and their feelings a long time later. At the moment Ashe is doing what he believes to be right. I hope you will not take it amiss if I say that it may take him a while to accept that he is doing what he cannot bear not to do.'

'I do not take it amiss, Lady Eldonstone, I simply find it impossible to accept,' Phyllida said as they reached the door of her room. Which was a mercy. If he was truly attached to her, then to leave him would hurt him. It was better this way, she had to believe it.

'Ah well, we will see. I had to run away from Ashe's father before he realised he was in love with me. It was quite dramatic-I was dressed as a youth and he dragged me off my horse and kissed me in the middle of a group of very confused Bengali traders.' She sank down on to the chaise at the foot of the bed and curled her legs up under her with enviable ease.

'I should imagine that would cause a stir in the middle of London,' Phyllida suggested as she poured water into the basin to wash her hands. But she was going to jilt Ashe, she was determined on that. If he was truly his father's son, he might make that very difficult indeed-but it would be pride, not love, that was going to make him refuse to give up.

'It caused a stir on the banks of the Ganges,' Lady Eldonstone said with a reminiscent smile. 'Shall we go along to Sara's room? I have had a very civil note back from Lady Auderley who will be delighted if you accompany us to her masquerade.'

Phyllida told herself that the more she was accepted, the better it was for Gregory and that she should swallow her pride with good grace. 'Thank you for asking her, I am sure I will enjoy it,' she said politely as her hostess opened Sara's door, then stopped dead on the threshold. 'My goodness, how beautiful you look.'

Sara was twirling in front of the long gla.s.s, her skirts flaring out in a bell of s.h.i.+mmering, heavily embroidered golden silk that revealed her legs, clad in tight dark-brown silk trousers, almost to the knee. Her bodice, which left a hand's span of bare flesh between its hem and the waistband, matched the skirts and her hair, covered by a transparent scarf of dark brown, hung in a long plait down her back.

'Do you like it?' She came to a halt and a jangle of golden bracelets fell down her arms to collect at her wrists. Her ankles had bands of little bells tied around them and her earrings gleamed with more gold.

'I think it is stunning. But all that bare skin at your midriff is very daring.'

'I wondered about that,' Lady Eldonstone said. 'I think a jacket over the bodice, Sara, we do not want the ladies fainting away with shock.'

'I was thinking more of the gentlemen having heart attacks,' Phyllida said as Sara put on a jacket that was cut open to expose the front of the bodice and then b.u.t.toned tightly from below her b.r.e.a.s.t.s to flare over her hips.

'Mata will be wearing blue, so I thought this be best for you.' Sara gestured to a pile of green silk on the bed, its colours ranging from darkest fir to palest gra.s.s, the embroidery glittering gold in the light from the window. By candlelight it would be spectacular. 'I think we are about the same size.' She held up the bodice for Phyllida to see.

'Try it on.' Lady Eldonstone kicked off her slippers and a.s.sumed what appeared to be her favourite cross-legged position on a sofa.

'I'll help you undress.' Sara propelled Phyllida behind a screen and began to unb.u.t.ton the back of her gown. Unused to having a sister, Phyllida felt almost shy shedding her clothing, especially when Sara said, 'You need to take off everything. Stockings, chemise, the lot.'

'No stays?'

'Goodness, no. The bodice is tight enough to keep everything in place,' Sara said, ruthlessly tying and tweaking.

'Trousers feel very strange.'

'The absence of them feels stranger, believe me,' Lady Eldonstone said. 'I felt positively indecent when I had to start wearing European clothes. And don't forget, skirts were still wide then. I was in constant alarm that the wind would flip everything up.'

'It certainly makes the most of my bosom.' Phyllida peered down at a cleavage she had not known she possessed.

Finally Sara finished. 'No, do not come out. I do not want you to see yourself until the night of the masquerade. Mata, do come and look. Doesn't Phyllida look lovely?'

'Exquisite.' The marchioness came round the screen and studied her. 'Ashe will be enchanted. I will find jewellery for you. Now, Sara, help Phyllida change again. The day after tomorrow, in the afternoon, we will turn my bedchamber into the women's mahal-the women's quarters in the palace,' she explained.

'All afternoon?' Phyllida turned her back so Sara could lace her stays.

'It will take us hours to get ready. Baths, our hair, the henna for our hands and feet, dressing, choosing jewellery. We will have dinner up here and the men can wait in suspense to see us.'

And we, them, Phyllida thought. She had some idea of how Ashe would look from the subdued Indian costume he had worn at the warehouse. What he might wear for a masquerade, she could not imagine.

The next day was occupied with finalising the list of items for the specialist sale. Phyllida visited the auctioneer disguised with severe clothing and French accent. Ashe and his father spent most of the day closeted in the study, working on estate papers, and only reappeared for dinner.

Phyllida found herself coming to like the Herriards more and more. They were unconventional, affectionate to each other, intelligent and their outsiders' view of the world she was so used to was constantly entertaining. Sara and her mother treated her as though she was already one of the family and it was all too easy to slip into the comfort of having a sister and a mother after years of fighting to stay afloat with no close female support.

The morning of the masquerade Lady Eldonstone had announced that after luncheon her rooms were to be considered out of bounds to all males.

Phyllida had no idea what to expect, but after half an hour she was convinced that she had strayed into the world of the Arabian Nights. The dressing room was filled with fragrant steam as three baths were prepared, separated by filmy curtains. They wallowed and soaped and scrubbed, then emerged wrapped in towels to have their hair brushed and braided. Once their skin was completely dry, Sara and her mother set to work painting elaborate patterns on palms and feet.

'Will it wash off?' Phyllida surrendered her palm, trying not to flinch as the pen tickled.

'Eventually. It just fades away. This isn't very strong henna.'

Then there was the lengthy process of going through jewellery boxes to select three sets of ornaments. Phyllida tried her best not to gawp at the gold and silver and gems, but she could not resist exclaiming over the set of Burmese sapphires that Lady Eldonstone selected for herself.

'They are very fine, are they not? A bride gift from my uncle, the rajah. Sara, the yellow diamonds for you and for Phyllida, the emeralds, of course.'

'But... Lady Eldonstone, they are far too valuable to lend to me. If I may borrow some bangles and earrings, that would be perfectly adequate, I am sure.'

'You are one of the family, Phyllida, and you will wear the Herriard gems.' Lady Eldonstone quelled her protest with a raised hand. 'It may not be known yet, but you will marry Ashe. Not to dress you accordingly would be to insult you both. Please, humour me in this.'

There was nothing to do but surrender. They ate a light dinner, then, finally, dressed. Phyllida was given sandals to wear, heavy earrings with emerald drops were fixed in her ears, bangles slid up her arms and clasped around her ankles and a gold chain with a single emerald hung around her neck to dip between her b.r.e.a.s.t.s. Then the veil was pinned in place over her hair.