Part 26 (1/2)

Rogers pointed his thumb at Deet. ”Deet here has noticed that there are listening devices in Klein's stateroom. I think there might be listening devices in other places as well. Do you think it's a coincidence that two times in a row, the Thelicosans changed their battle formations immediately after we suggested it?”

”Yes,” McSchmidt said. ”I do.”

Rogers looked at him flatly.

”Okay, so maybe it's a little suspicious,” McSchmidt said. ”I just don't want us to rush into anything rash, like a giant, s.h.i.+p-wide spy hunt or anything.”

Rogers hesitated. ”I wasn't suggesting that.”

”Good,” McSchmidt said. ”Because it would be a bad idea. I don't think you'd find him.” He cleared his throat. ”Or her. Or it. Maybe it's a droid?”

”Why in the world would anyone have a droid as a spy?” Rogers said. ”It wouldn't make any sense. They'd be saying things like CALL FUNCTION [SPY ON MERIDANS] and c.r.a.p like that. Do the Th.e.l.lies even have droids?”

”Sir!” The door to the bridge opened, and the defense tech popped his head out. ”I wanted to let you know we received the damage report.”

”And?”

”And nothing was damaged, sir.”

Rogers frowned. ”Nothing?”

”Nothing. Our s.h.i.+elds didn't even take an impact.”

”Do we even know what was fired at us?”

”It appears that nothing was fired at us at all,” the tech said. ”But some of our sensors picked up targeting emissions from that s.h.i.+p that came by. So, it almost looks like they were about to attack us but didn't. Lieutenant Commander Belgrave said it was probably just a pirating s.h.i.+p with its munitions armed that got lost.”

Something about that didn't sound right to Rogers at all.

”So, what's up with the explosion and the fire in the kitchen? What hit us?”

”It appears that one of the engineering personnel made a mistake in the Kamikaze.”

”But I transferred all of those people back to engineering,” Rogers said.

”He enjoyed cooking, sir.”

Rogers pulled at his beard. He didn't know whether he was enraged, relieved, or just tired. Probably a little bit of all of them. But the Flags.h.i.+p had definitely been targeted, and a s.h.i.+p had definitely come into and out of Un-s.p.a.ce without announcing itself. Maybe one of the other s.h.i.+ps in the ATBU had picked it up. One that hadn't had its targeting computer shut down for days. He'd have to get Klein to ask the other s.h.i.+p captains later.

”Thanks,” Rogers said to the tech. ”Anything else?”

”No, sir.” The tech saluted and returned to the bridge.

”I don't like this, McSchmidt,” Rogers said, feeling very dramatic all of a sudden.

”I don't like it either,” McSchmidt said.

”I'm sort of indifferent,” Deet said.

Rogers shot him a look. ”This is all too coincidental,” Rogers said. ”Changing formations, a feinted attack that turned into a kitchen explosion. Even if they didn't fire anything, the THEY'RE ATTACKING US light definitely went on. That's something, right?”

McSchmidt nodded. ”I'll start combing through more of the reports and let you know what I find. Maybe there's something we're overlooking.”

”Fine,” Rogers said. He wiped his forehead. He hadn't sweated so much in years. ”I'm going to go make sure that Klein isn't summoning the entire Meridan Galactic Navy to put out our kitchen fire.”

”What do you mean, you summoned the entire Meridan Galactic Navy to put out our kitchen fire?”

Rogers was pretty sure if his jaw was any lower to the ground, it could have been used as a dustpan. How could one head contain so much stupid?

”We need help,” Klein said. ”They can't expect us to be a buffer against the Thelicosan invasion all by ourselves.”

”That's exactly what they expect of us,” Rogers said. ”We're the 331st Anti-Thelicosan Buffer Unit!”

”So what?” Klein said. ”n.o.body expected an actual war. We've been hearing rumors about this stuff for months, and now this is getting a little more than I want the 331st to handle on its own. Thelicosa is going to charge across that border and turn Merida into the next Jupiter. There won't even be another War of Musical Chairs this time.”

”It was a kitchen fire, Klein. A kitchen fire. And the pa.s.sing s.h.i.+p was probably just a pirate s.h.i.+p with its targeting systems on,” Rogers said. ”You have to cancel that message. We don't need the central government getting involved.”

He couldn't imagine the kind of bureaucracy that would come flying in with such a giant military presence. There would be inspections every five minutes, droids everywhere, and Rogers doubted the alcohol quant.i.ty would improve.

”I don't see why it matters,” Klein said. ”I've been sending the same message for the last four months.”

Rogers looked up. ”What do you mean?”

Klein motioned to his computer terminal. ”Every day, they keep telling me that the Thelicosans are invading. So, every day, I keep sending messages to MGN headquarters, asking them to bring reinforcements. They never answer.”

”Hold on a second,” Rogers said. ”You're telling me you've been sending emergency reinforcement messages to headquarters every day, and n.o.body has gotten back to you?”

”Yes.”

”And that doesn't strike you as strange?”

”Why would it strike him?” Deet asked. ”Is there a physical manifestation of this situation that strikes people?”

”Figure of speech,” Rogers said. ”Do I really need to explain that to you every time?”

”Send a complaint to my programmer,” Deet said.