Part 21 (1/2)

February 18 2:32 A.M.

Rob awoke in the dark to a delicious feeling. He had a huge erection. And it was in Kara's mouth. He groaned and arched his back as she worked her lips and tongue up and down the shaft. There'd been oral s.e.x during their affair ten years ago, but never like this. This was fabulous. Rob closed his eyes and drifted on the pleasure.

He felt Kara's weight s.h.i.+ft as she straightened up and straddled him. And then he was inside her and she was bucking her hips up and down, sliding him in and out of her at an ever-increasing rate. He looked up as she leaned over him, her b.r.e.a.s.t.s bobbing, her eyes closed, her upper lip caught between her teeth. When he reached up and ran his palms over her hard nipples she moaned and increased the tempo of her hips. Rob matched her thrust for thrust until they reached a furious pace. Finally, when he knew he could hold back no longer, Kara suddenly stopped her undulations. As he exploded within her, she straightened and stiffened and shuddered as a soft, high-pitched scream escaped through her clenched teeth. Then she collapsed beside him and they both lay there panting.

When he caught his breath, when he could speak again, Rob turned to her.

”Kara, that was fantastic. What-”

Without a word, Kara turned her back to him.

”Kara?” He propped himself up on one arm and shook her shoulder gently. ”Kara?”

She was sound asleep.

Rob stared at her bare back in the darkness as a mix of feelings washed over him. He was annoyed and he was confused, but there was something else. He didn't recognize it at first. An alien feeling, a new experience: he felt... used.

Which was ridiculous. Kara didn't use people. Kara wasn't- A thought struck him with an icy shock that sent cold tendrils writhing along his body.

Who had he just made love to? Kara... or Janine?

Rob didn't sleep the rest of the night.

7:52 A.M.

Kara noticed that Rob was unusually subdued at breakfast. He'd always been a morning person. Even last week, after sleeping in a chair all night, he'd been unbearably cheery. Not today. He looked tired and seemed troubled as he leaned against the kitchen counter and sipped his coffee. Preoccupied.

Not Kara. She was up up.

Two-count 'em-two nights in a row with no craziness. No writing on walls, no stunts with knives, nothing! And no sleeping pill last night. nights in a row with no craziness. No writing on walls, no stunts with knives, nothing! And no sleeping pill last night.

Maybe good s.e.x was a better medication than Halcion.

Either way, everything was beginning to fall into place. If she continued on this kind of even keel she might consider finding a therapist in Philadelphia to work this through. Between the Jefferson Medical Center and Hahnemann she was sure she could find a psychiatrist of Dr. Gates' caliber to continue her treatment. She'd mention it to him during their session today.

And it would be so good to be back in Pennsylvania. She could s.h.i.+p Kelly's things home and sift through them at her leisure, keeping the personal items-the yearbooks, the photos, her records, things like that- and giving the rest to a charity.

But returning to the farm meant leaving Rob. A part of her-a big part of her-didn't want to leave him. Last night had been wonderful, and waking up with him beside her had made the morning brighter. There had to be a way they could work something out.

She watched him and felt the desire rise up in her again. She wondered at that. Making love to Rob last night must have started some sort of chain reaction within her, causing her body to want to make up for all the years without him. It had been too long. She was actually sore down there. She even had a vague memory of a s.e.x dream last night during which she'd practically raped Rob. And strangely enough, Dr. Gates seemed to have been there. A weird dream. But dreams weren't the real thing. She'd been disappointed when he got up and took a shower first thing this morning. She'd been hoping for a reprise.

”Something bothering you, Rob?”

At the sound of her voice he started and sloshed a little coffee onto the back of his hand.

”No. Everything's fine. Why?”

”You've hardly said a word all morning.”

He smiled and Kara thought it looked a little forced.

”Sorry. A lot of things on my mind, I guess. All sorts of stuff piling up at the precinct. There don't seem to be enough hours in the day.” He glanced quickly away from her, then back. ”Are you seeing Dr. Gates today?”

”Eleven A.M. sharp. Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. But I don't know for how long.”

Concern leapt into his eyes.

”What do you mean?”

”Well, things seem to be pretty much under control at the moment. Nothing's happened here like it did at the farm.”

”Maybe, but you can't quit therapy.”

”I've no intention of-” Something was going on here. ”Rob, what's wrong?”

A tortured expression flickered across his face, and then he put down his coffee and slipped his arms around her. He squeezed her so tightly for a moment that she couldn't breathe, then he relaxed.

”I just want you to be all right, that's all.”

Kara looked into his eyes and saw that he meant it. She kissed him.

”I will will be all right, Rob. I'm going to see to that.” She glanced at her watch. ”But I've got to get going. I want to be back at Ellen's when Jill wakes up. I want to have breakfast with her.” be all right, Rob. I'm going to see to that.” She glanced at her watch. ”But I've got to get going. I want to be back at Ellen's when Jill wakes up. I want to have breakfast with her.”

”I'll give you a lift.”

”That's okay. I'll walk. I feel good this morning.”

She could tell by his bleak expression that Rob felt anything but.

They parted at the front entrance. Kara waved and headed uphill toward Second Avenue. She kept up a brisk pace. She wanted to squeeze in some school work with Jill between breakfast and her appointment with Dr. Gates. Kara didn't like her missing all these cla.s.s days, but she didn't know what else she could do at present. Until she knew for sure how long she'd be staying here, they'd both have to play it by ear.

The sun was warm on her back. It was a bright, crisp, beautiful winter day, with hardly a breeze stirring the air. She had to admit it: New York City could be nice sometimes.

The steel band that had been constricting Rob's chest all morning loosened a bit as he watched Kara walk away. All night he had lain awake trying to think of a way to ask her if the woman astride him in the middle of the night had been Kara. He had searched the still darkness for just the right words, the perfect framing of the question so that she wouldn't be hurt and insulted if the answer was yes, and she wouldn't be frightened out of her mind if it was no.

He'd come up with nothing. From the moment she'd awakened beside him he had tried to ask her, but at the last moment would lose his nerve.

This wasn't like him. He could interrogate with the best of them, asking the most personal, the most outrageous, the most leading, self-incriminating questions without batting an eye. But Kara wasn't a suspect. He couldn't bear to hurt her.

For all her outward toughness, Rob still sensed something fragile within Kara. He had to be very careful. He had lost her once. He didn't want to lose her again.

He watched her turn downtown onto Second Avenue and disappear. He hoped Dr. Gates was as good as Doc Winters said he was. Rob had a feeling Kara needed more help than she realized.