Part 7 (1/2)
”I wonder what my brother and Mel are doing,” I say as I walk through the mall with my husband. You'd think I'd be tired of saying my husband over and over again by now. But I haven't. The honeymoon is far from being over. If last night was any indication, we'll be newlyweds for quite some time.
It's killing me that Mel is out of town right now. I'm dying to talk to her, but I know she's busy. As much as I'd like to interrupt her little vacay with my bro, I know they need some time alone. I just wish he'd smarten up already and take the plunge. His dumb a.s.s is going to end up down here eventually. Mel is just wasting her time, and gas, visiting him when I know he's going to pack it up and come home. It may as well be sooner than later.
I could kill him though. My mom and I have been trying to get him to move home for years. My dad even pleaded with him to stay before he left, but it takes all five feet of my pet.i.te best friend to get his b.u.t.t to relocate. He hasn't said he's coming home yet. But it's just a matter of time.
”Maybe they're going to Alcatraz today. Mel mentioned she wanted to do that.”
Matty sighs. ”Why don't you just call her? I bet she wants to talk to you too.”
”Babe, they're making up for all their time apart right now. If you were my brother, would you want me calling and interrupting?”
He chuckles. ”Absolutely not.” He leans down and slaps a kiss on my cheek. ”I kinda like having you to myself for a couple of weeks. I can walk around the house naked if I want and I don't have to worry about Mel walking in.”
”Like that would ever happen,” I say, swinging our hands back and forth as we walk toward the bookstore.
He's silent so I glance up at him, and his knowing look. ”Hmm.”
”Okay, so that was just one time. And she didn't even see anything. You have quick hands. And big ones too, might I add.” I flash him an exaggerated wink, and he laughs.
We make our way to the Starbucks counter before we start perusing the books. Matty orders a plain old black coffee while I get a Double Chocolaty Chip Frappuccino.
I lean back against my husband while we wait for our drinks. He rests his chin on the top of my head while he combs his fingers through the ends of my hair. ”I could fall asleep.”
”We can go home and nap. I'm all for lying in bed naked with you all day. As a matter of fact, I think that's what we should do all summer.”
”Just lie there?” I tease.
”Among other things.”
A barista holds our drinks up.
I pull myself from the comfort of Matty's arms to get my chocolate concoction.
After circling the store a few times, we finally find the aisle we came here for.
”I'm surprised it's not on a display somewhere. I thought it was like the bible for women.” Matty scans the t.i.tles when I glance up at him with a chuckle.
”Here it is,” I pull a copy of What To Expect When You're Expecting What To Expect When You're Expecting from the shelves. from the shelves.
”Are you sure that's what you want? We haven't even gotten that far yet. Maybe there's one along the lines of what to expect when you're waiting to be expecting what to expect when you're waiting to be expecting.”
”You're such a dork,” I tell him, slapping the book into his gut. ”This is the one. There's a lot of pre-pregnancy stuff in here too.”
”I bet. It's a pretty thick book.”
”That's okay. We'll have plenty of time to read it. It's not like I'm gonna get prego right away. I've been on the pill for years. With only two weeks off of it, I doubt my uterus is baby p.r.o.ne just yet.”
”You never know. I'm a persistent guy. I could have Olympic swimmers who are committed to the task.”
”Oh my G.o.d. My husband has the Michael Phelps of sperm. I could be pregnant right now with those kinds of suckers plunging to the finish line.”
An older gentleman clears his throat. Matty tries to hide a smirk. The guy is ancient. I'm sure he's heard the word sperm before. It's not like I said Matty has magical j.i.z.z that can float through walls.
Son of a biscuit. Some people are just so uptight.
We're in the car on our way home and I start thinking of my friend again. ”I wonder what Ty and Mel are doing now.”
Matty takes my phone out of the cup holder and pa.s.ses it to me. ”Call her.”
”No, I don't want to interrupt them.”
”Do it. Or I'm going to.”
I take the phone away from him. ”Fi-ine.” A smile creeps across my face. ”But only because you're making me.”
”Hey,” Mel sings into the phone. ”Why haven't you called me?”
”I've been dying to but I didn't want to be a c.o.c.k block, playa.” I glance over at my husband and he's shaking his head at me with a laugh. That always seems to be the theme. I say something cheeky, he shakes his head. ”Why haven't you called me?”
”Because I didn't want to be a c.o.c.k block either. Didn't want to mess with your game, dawg.” She drags out the words of her thug speak, and another round of chuckles burst out. ”Okay, seriously. You're newlyweds on vacation. I figured Matt would have you all twisted up like a pretzel. The quiet ones are the ones you have to watch out for. I bet he gets real freaky.”
”Oh, Melly, you don't even know. Let's just say that Pilates cla.s.s I've been taking has paid off. I can reach my ankles all the way to my ears.” The winds.h.i.+eld of Matty's car is sprayed with soda at that comment. He's wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and chuckling at the same time. ”You don't know the meaning of deep until the front of your thighs are pressed flat against your chest.”
”Honey, you gotta stop. You're killing me,” his voice trembles with laughter.
”Sorry, Mel. No more details. My husband's about to hyperventilate he's laughing so hard.”
”I bet,” she says. ”I'm snorting over here.”
”When aren't you?” I crack up because the girl is always snorting. She can't let out just a little laugh. If she thinks something's funny, she lets out a loud belly laugh until it crawls all the way up her nostrils and she sounds like a hog.
”You have a point.”
”So what are you up to? Where's my brother? I'm surprised I haven't heard him talking smack in the background.” My brother is incapable of keeping his mouth shut. Kinda like Mel. I wonder how they have conversations. I should buy them an egg timer as a wedding gift-because of course, they're going to get married, they just don't know it yet. They can each take turns talking until their time is up. Otherwise, I have no idea how they can communicate.
”He's in the shower.”
”In the middle of the day?”
”Well, yeah. We had a late night. And we were busy this morning. So we're just relaxing today.”
”Busy? What'd you guys do?”