Part 3 (1/2)
”But, my dear Captain Sourcrout, the affair happened a good many years ago, remember,” interrupted the Admiral, wis.h.i.+ng to tranquillise him, ”and had not leniency been shown to the culprits, the service would have lost three promising young officers likely to prove ornaments to it.
However, I would advise other youngsters not to imitate them. Such tricks don't bear repet.i.tion, I'll allow. By-the-bye, Captain Sourcrout, are you acquainted with my old s.h.i.+pmate, Jerry Hazledine? He served under me as a youngster, and I have kept an eye on him ever since. He hailed from Ireland, and as all his ways and doings savoured strongly of the Emerald Isle, he was known as Paddy throughout the service.”
The Admiral went on, without wailing to hear whether Captain Sourcrout was or was not personally acquainted with the officer in question.
”Paddy Hazledine was possessed of prodigious strength, though he seldom put it forth, except in what he considered the side of right and justice. His notions, to be sure, on these points, were occasionally like himself, somewhat eccentric; ha! ha! ha! I remember it as if it were yesterday. Coming up High Street one night, I saw a crowd collected round a lamp-post, not one of your modern iron affairs, but a stout, honest one of timber, with a cross-bar at the top as long as a sloop's cross-jack-yard. Seated with his legs over it was Paddy Hazledine in full rig, c.o.c.ked hat and sword--he was a lieutenant then as composed as possible, smoking a cigar, which, it appeared, he had got up there for the purpose of lighting at the huge gla.s.s lamp, as big as a seventy-four's p.o.o.p-lantern. While he held on with one hand, in the other he flourished a formidable s.h.i.+llaly, which he usually carried, as he declared, in order to keep the peace when more warlike weapons could not be used. Below him stood half-a-dozen watchmen, who, in angry tones, were ordering him to come down, while he, in eloquent language, was a.s.serting his right to be where he was, and proclaiming his intention of remaining there as long as suited his pleasure. Every now and then the watchmen made a rush at him with their cudgels, the blows from which his faithful s.h.i.+llaly enabled him to ward off, and occasionally to bestow a pretty heavy tap on the heads of the most daring of his a.s.sailants.
”'Is it breaking the peace I am, do ye say?' he exclaimed. 'Not at all at all. It's you are doing the same, and running the risk of getting your on heads broken as the consequence. Now be off wid you, and lave a quietly-disposed citizen to his meditations.'
”I kept out of sight to see what would happen next. At length the watchmen lost patience. While three of their number remained at a respectful distance from the heavy end of the s.h.i.+llaly to prevent Paddy from escaping, the others went off, as I supposed, for a ladder and further a.s.sistance. Hazledine, fearless of consequences, sat smoking his cigar with perfect composure. Presently a dozen watchmen came trooping up, some armed with sticks and others with crow-bars and pick-axes and spades. Their object was evident. While one party began digging away round the lamp-post, the others defended them by fierce a.s.saults with their sticks on the gallant lieutenant's legs, giving him enough to do for their defence, and thus preventing him from bringing down his weapon on the heads of their comrades. Still he showed every intention of keeping his seat, and notwithstanding the violent shaking which the working party gave the post as they got near the heel, he held on. At length, several stout fellows putting their shoulders to it, up it came, but instead of toppling it over, away they marched, carrying off Paddy in triumph, as they thought, to the watch-house; but they little knew the man they had got hold of. He seemed to enjoy the fun, and sat smoking as before, and occasionally indulging in a quiet laugh.
Suddenly uttering a wild Irish shout, he sprang over the heads of his bearers, and with a whirl of his s.h.i.+llaly, scattering those who attempted to stop him, he darted down a narrow lane, the end of which they were pa.s.sing at the time, and disappeared from sight. As his s.h.i.+p sailed the next morning, the police of Portsmouth searched in vain for the culprit, who, getting undiscovered on board, did not fail to amuse his messmates with a full account of his exploit; ha! ha! ha!”
The Admiral laughed heartily at his story, as, of course, did everybody else, with the exception of Captain Sourcrout, who, grimly smiling, observed--
”I should have brought that harum-scarum lieutenant to a court-martial pretty sharply.”
”What for--smoking a cigar on the top of a lamp-post?” asked the Admiral. ”It is not against the articles of war.”
”No, Admiral Triton, but for conduct unworthy the character of an officer and a gentleman,” answered Captain Sourcrout gruffly.
”Well, as to that, people may be allowed to have their opinion. It's not a usual proceeding, I grant you, but the act was beyond the jurisdiction of his captain, and as Paddy was as gallant a fellow as ever stepped and never failed in his duty, I don't think he would have been willing to act as you suggest. We must not forget that we were once upon a time youngsters ourselves, and we may possibly recall to mind some of the tricks we played in those days, ay, and after we had mounted a swab, or maybe two, on our shoulders. You remember the sentry-box which stood at the inner end of the landing-place on the Common Hard, with a comfortable seat inside it, rather tempting, it must be confessed, to a drowsily-disposed sentry to take a quiet snooze. Our fore-fathers had more consideration for the legs and feet of soldiers than the martinets of our times. To be sure, it a sentry was found asleep he ought have been flogged or shot, but he could sit down and rest himself, and if he did so it was at his own risk.
”One night several young commanders, there may have been a post-captain among them, coming down to the Common Hard, after a dinner-party on sh.o.r.e, to go on board their s.h.i.+ps, found the sentry fast asleep in his sentry-box. They, of course, were as sober as judges; he, evidently, drunk as a fiddler. They thereon held a consultation, and came to the unanimous conclusion that it was meet and fit that a man guilty of so flagrant an infraction of military discipline should receive condign punishment, and const.i.tuting themselves the executioners as well as the judges of the law, forthwith set about carrying out the sentence they had p.r.o.nounced. Calling up the strongest men of their boats' crews, they ordered them to shoulder the sentry-box and its sentry within, and to carry it down to one of the boats as gently as possible, not to awake the occupant. There, however, was little chance of that. Safe on board,--there being no witnesses but themselves to the operation,--the boat containing it was towed across to the Gosport sh.o.r.e, on which, being carefully landed, it was set up in its proper position, facing the harbour. Great, as may be supposed, was the consternation of the 'Relief' when it arrived at the post, to find sentry-box and sentry gone. The soldier could not have walked off with it as a snail does its sh.e.l.l on its back. A rigid search was inst.i.tuted, but no sign of sentry or box could be discovered, and the sentry at the Dockyard gates, having also been snoozing at the time, had neither seen nor heard anything unusual. The captain of the guard, unable, even by a conjecture, to solve the mystery, considered it of sufficient importance to report without delay to the major, who, jumping to the conclusion, as he heard it when awakened from his first sleep, that the French had made their way into the harbour, and were about to a.s.sault the town, turned out the guard, ordered the draw-bridge to be hauled up, and, like a wise soldier, took every precaution to avoid surprise. Not till the next morning was his mind set at rest, when a report came from across the harbour that a sentry-box had been found on the Gosport sh.o.r.e, where one had not stood the night before, with a sentry in front of it, who could give no account of how he got there. The sentry, on awaking at daybreak, had in vain looked for the objects he expected to see around him, but deemed it prudent to maintain his post. When questioned, he roundly a.s.serted that he had been broad awake all night, and the only conclusion to which he or any one else could come, was that he had been the victim of some trick of witchcraft.”
”Were you, admiral, among those who played it?” asked Captain Sourcrout ”because then the less I say on the subject the better.”
”A man is not compelled by law to give evidence against himself,”
answered the admiral, laughing. ”I give the tale current at the time, and happened to have been informed of the facts which solved the mystery. I should say that Jerry Hazledine had nothing to do with it, as it was before his day. He has a good many things set down to his account.”
”Some of them were true bills, however,” observed another post-captain.
”I was a mids.h.i.+pman under him when he commanded the old _Turk_. Though good-natured he was somewhat hot-tempered. One of our marines had been bred a barber, and Jerry, discovering this, made the man come in every morning to shave him, the steward following with a jug of warm water.
It had just been placed on the table as the barber had finished lathering the captain's face, but instead of being only warm was scalding hot. The marine, not reflecting on this, dipped in his razor, and intending to commence operations on the captain's upper lip, touched the tip of his nose with the back. As Jerry felt the pain, on the impulse of the moment up went his fist, which he planted with a knock-down blow between the eyes of the unfortunate jolly, who rolled over, half-stunned, on the deck. I, at that moment, went into the cabin, having been sent on some duty or other, and heard Jerry shout out in a voice of thunder:--
”'Take that, ye spalpeen, and think yourself fortunate to get it instead of the three dozen you would have had as sure as you're alive for burning your captain's nose.' The captain, in half a minute, sitting down as if nothing had happened, the jolly picked himself up and went on with the operation, taking very good care, you may be certain, not to burn Jerry's nose again. Some time after this, our captain received an intimation from the Admiralty, as did other captains, that flogging was as much as possible to be avoided, and other punishments subst.i.tuted.
On this, Jerry, who was possessed of an inventive turn of mind, set himself to work to devise such as would to a certainty be so hated by the men that they would answer the purpose of maintaining discipline fully as much as flogging. The s.h.i.+p's cook was a one-legged negro, a jolly, fat fellow with a comical expression of countenance, Sambo Lillywhite by name, generally known as Sam Lilly. Sam had a white mate called Tim Dippings, an incorrigibly idle rascal. One day Tim--not for the first time--had neglected to clean the galley, and on being reported, both he and Sam Lilly were put in the black list. Jerry, exercising his inventive genius, ordered Tim to walk the deck the whole of the afternoon watch, with a cauldron slung round his neck half full of slush; while the black cook, with a huge frying-pan held at arm's length in each hand, had to pace up and down for the same period. As each bell struck Tim had to sing out, 'Here am I for not cleaning the galley,' which was responded to by Sambo, in the most dolorous tone, with, 'I here for no see 'um do it,' his peculiar voice and the comical expression of his countenance eliciting roars of laughter from his s.h.i.+pmates. Thus at every half-hour the words went sounding along the deck, 'Here am I for not cleaning the galley!' 'I here for no see 'um do it.' Jerry, however, on another occasion, surpa.s.sed even himself, he caught a man smuggling a bottle of rum on board. The opportunity for exhibiting his inventive genius was not to be lost. The bottle was captured and the man put in the black list. The captain, after due consideration, ordered a c.o.c.k to be fixed in a seven-gallon beaker, into which, being more than half-filled with water, the rum was emptied. It was then secured by a rope yarn round the neck of the culprit, who appeared thus at the commencement of the watch with a tumbler in his hand, and as the bell struck he had to fill his gla.s.s and drink the contents, shouting out at the top of his voice each time, 'Here am I, a smuggler bold!' He was never again caught smuggling spirits on board.
Some captains with less inventive genius are much more cruel than was our friend Jerry in their black list punishments.”
”That is not a subject I wish to bear spoken of,” observed Captain Sourcrout, in an angry tone.
”Come, come, we'll change it then, gentlemen,” exclaimed the good-natured admiral.
”I forgot,” whispered Jack's neighbour to him. ”Old Sourcrout is said to have had a man's head shaved, and to have made him carry a kettle of boiling water on the top of it for two hours during every day-watch for a week, but that may be scandal.”
”As to the shaving I fancy so, but with regard to the water it is true enough, only it was not boiling,” answered Jack. ”He got hauled up for it, notwithstanding, and no wonder that he does not like the subject of black-listing spoken of.”
Notwithstanding the grumpy remarks Captain Sourcrout occasionally let drop, the party went off very pleasantly, and Desmond and Gordon a.s.sured Tom that he had not overpraised the admiral, and that they had no notion there were such jolly old fellows in the navy. He, at all events, was worthy of all the patronage they could bestow.
Murray came on board the frigate the next day to see Jack and Terence.
He was pleased with the corvette as far as she herself was concerned.