Part 81 (2/2)
As Ruby Riot grow in popularity, it's increasingly difficult for me to go out alone. Fleur hates scrutiny, that was an issue for her a couple of months ago; and as I don't want to scare her off, I arrange to meet Fleur on campus where I blend in more.
I wait outside the large, concrete building, the environment a world away from the converted brick houses of the department at UCL. I watch every student walk out of the door, searching pa.s.sers-by for Fleur's distinctive hair.
Finally, Fleur walks into my world again, the sun s.h.i.+ning on her blonde hair and the blue cotton summer dress shaping against her. The world falls away, as the awareness of everything around leaves.
At first, Fleur doesn't see me. I'm not exactly disguised but half-hidden beneath a baseball cap, tattooed arms covered in a grey jacket. I stand and she turns her head. The moment she notices me, time rewinds to the day I told Fleur I loved her.
Nothing's changed apart from everything.
I stride over, ready to take hold of Fleur, not giving a s.h.i.+t who sees. But Fleur steps back, and s.h.i.+fts her look away. I halt. Don't screw this up.
”Hey, Fleur.”
She fiddles with the zip on her bag and looks back at me. ”h.e.l.lo.”
I push my hands into my jeans' pockets to stop myself touching her. ”Thanks for meeting me.”
”Of course.”
She's formal Fleur, controlled, and not the pa.s.sionate girl who gave her all to me. Fleur is a million miles away, but I'd walk twice as far to reach her.
Other students pa.s.s, and when two girls stop close by, I indicate to Fleur with my head we should walk away. The summer sun beats down as we cross away from the buildings to an open green area, where the sun dapples on the ground around wooden benches. Some students lie on the gra.s.s, or sit together chatting. A couple nearby are wrapped in each other, in their own world, and jealousy stabs.
In an unspoken joint decision, we sit on the bench; the awareness of the small gap between us is as painful as when we're in different countries.
”I should've bought us coffees,” I say.
”I have water.” Fleur delves into her bag and pulls a bottle out. Her hair sweeps forward exposing the curve of her neck and my breath catches again. How can she have this effect as suddenly and as totally? I woke this morning to a bright day, with Fleur in my afternoon I'm dazzled.
”I did it,” I say.
”Did what?” She offers me the open bottle and I shake my head.
”You told me to come back and tell you when Ruby Riot win an award and hit the top of the charts.”
”I don't remember saying that.”
”I do. I remember everything. You said you'd agree I was special then.”
Fleur focuses on the bottle. ”You were always special, Will. You're a unique guy.”
”One of a pair.”
She turns to look at me. ”No, unique.”
In her eyes, I capture a sense of what she's holding back; I've looked into them enough to know how she feels. Her face has always been an open book to me, and I'm sure mine is to her. We can communicate without words. How many couples do that?
Couples.
I sit on my hands and resist the temptation to touch her. ”I missed you.”
Fleur's breath catches before she says the words I need to hear. ”I miss you, Will.”
”We don't need to.” I take her hand. ”We can put this behind us and try again.”
”How long are you in York?”
”Until tomorrow.”
”Then you're wrong. We'll miss each other again; after today, our lives are going in different directions.”
I stare at the blue sky, the clouds threatening to hide the sun. ”I won't be away all the time.”
”I don't want to hurt again the way I did at Christmas. That was h.e.l.l, Will. If things were different ”
”We're different to other people. Isn't that what we always said?” I s.h.i.+ft closer and touch Fleur's face. ”I've thought about you every day.”
”Why did you stop texting me?”
”That was you.”
”No. You.”
”Okay, both of us; but now I'm here, I want to fix this.”
”I want to forget.” My heart twists at her words. ”No, Will. I mean I want to forget what happened with Shaun and move on. I don't want to forget about you. I doubt I ever could.”
”So you think we try again?”
Fleur curls her slender fingers around where mine rest on her cheek. ”Are you still in London when you're in the UK?”
”Yeah, I'm based there.”
”What about touring? Are you going anywhere else?”
”We're doing the festival circuit in Europe, and there's a bigger tour planned later in the year.”
”So you won't be around much?” she says, and her voice cracks with disappointment.
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