Part 26 (1/2)

”What?”

”About this between us lasting.”

”Oh. Right. Um.” s.h.i.+t.

”Don't stress. I think it's cute you can see us lasting beyond the tour.”

Cute? I sit forward. ”What the h.e.l.l? Don't you?”

”Who knows?”

I'm p.i.s.sed off now. I haven't thought hard about a future with Tegan outside the tour, as I can't see much beyond day to day currently. If she's doubtful, could the relations.h.i.+p that's causing this s.h.i.+tstorm be over soon? Telling the world about Tegan was supposed to make things less complicated, not more.

I stand. ”Fine. Whatever. I'm heading upstairs to fetch my gear.”

”Yeah, I might come with you.” Tegan holds her hand out so I can pull her up from the seat. When I do, she keeps hold of my shoulders and kisses me softly. ”Don't be p.i.s.sed off with me for being realistic about us.”

”I'm not,” I lie.

She slides her hand into the back pocket of my jeans and squeezes my a.s.s. ”But Riley's right, you'd better make this worth my while.”

I nip her bottom lip. ”Oh, I will. You already know that.”

Tegan's face breaks into a smile, eyes lighting up with the happiness I want to see in them. I wrap her in my arms. There's nothing more natural than Tegan's warmth pressed against me; they can't take this away from us. I bury my face into her soft hair and focus my senses on us.

s.e.x with Tegan blew my mind. Yeah, cliche but true. She ripped everything I understood about f.u.c.king a girl out of my head and showed me a real connection. We were Jax and Tegan, not Jax and some girl who lies down to let the rock star screw her. Never mind that she has the sweetest p.u.s.s.y and amazing body, there was more. I looked her in the face. I never look girls in the face, or link myself to anything but the physical pleasure. Weird, but the moment I met her eyes, our bodies joined, something s.h.i.+fted. Tegan isn't just another in a long line; she's something else. She's mine.

Tegan stole any chance of this being purely physical the day she teased me after our first night out. I knew then if I was prepared to wait for her, this would be different. I cared about Tegan's pleasure. I want to be the man she can't ever let go because if s.e.x feels half as f.u.c.king good for her as it does for me, we've something here that I don't want to lose.

The worry is, with the openness comes more. I'm unsure if opening myself up to this girl was the right move. What if she takes my heart and smashes it into pieces?

TEGAN.

I switch off my phone and throw it onto the bed, unable to look at the screen any more. I sit and stare through the window of my hotel suite, into the dark sky where the stars are shrouded by grey clouds, and attempt to ground myself. Three solid days of this c.r.a.p. What the h.e.l.l am I doing? Jax is lying next to me, hands behind his head as he watches local TV.

”What's wrong?” he asks.

”Doesn't matter.” My heart races as the comments on my Twitter feed seer sear themselves across my mind. Pure nastiness from people who don't know me. Today, I discovered a fake account set up in my name, filled with p.o.r.n images reported to be me.

”More of the same?” Jax sits and wraps his arms around me, pulling me into him. I rest my head on his shoulder and he kisses my hair. ”You shouldn't have reactivated your account. I'm going to have to confiscate your b.l.o.o.d.y phone!”

I glance at the offending item. ”I'm not switching it back on now.”

”Good.”

”I don't understand why they do this,” I whisper. ”The press, I expected but the fans... How can they say they're your fans if they want to do this to somebody you care about? People are threatening to find me and cut me.”

Jax's grip on me tightens. ”You'll be okay. We'll be okay.”

”I'm scared,” I admit and fight the tears I refuse to cry. ”It's all right for you! You could go out in public if you want! n.o.body's sending you threats.”

”Come here.” Jax lies back against the mound of pillows; I rest my head on his chest and focus on the steady thrum of his heartbeat. As he strokes my hair, my anxiety subsides.

”Sorry I was so stupid,” I say. ”I really didn't think this through.”

”I took part in posting the photo. Not your fault.”

I sigh. ”I really didn't think you were famous enough for the world to freak out.”

”Hey!” Jax rolls me over and props himself up with his arms either side of my head. He settles himself between my legs, grinning down at me. ”I told you I was a rock star, you were the one who told me I was too full of myself!”

”I guess the world loves you more than I thought.”

”Yeah, like the people who won the VIP backstage tour tonight. Really weird. They hardly said two words to me, that's how blinded by my awesomeness they were.”

I groan and poke him in the chest. ”What were they like?”

”A thirteen year old who spent the whole time silent and bright pink, and her mother who kept checking her watch. To be honest, I think they're here to see Blue Phoenix and enjoy the free trip to Berlin.”

”Aww, poor Jax.”

”Suits me, means I get to spend time with my favourite girl.”

'Hey!” I push him off me and roll over, pinning him down instead. ”Favourite girl? Only girl!”

”Only girl.” He pulls my hair from my face, lifting his head to kiss me. This is why I'm putting myself through this this. The effect this man has on me is unlike anybody before, kissing Jax triggers a slow burn inside from the moment his lips touch mine. I constantly crave his touch, and the pa.s.sion he returns matches mine, every time. We could lose ourselves in each other for a whole day, and I'd still want more. Jax s.h.i.+fts and I wriggle against him. He groans and pushes himself against me.

I sit back on his hips and smooth my hands across his chest. Jax looks up at me with darkened eyes and slides his hand up my leg. ”You're f.u.c.king amazing,” he says. ”Seriously, you turn me on like that.” He snaps his fingers.

”I guess I'm the awesome one.” I slowly unb.u.t.ton his woven black s.h.i.+rt. The jade pendant hangs against his ridge of muscle at the top of his chest and I twist the leather around my finger. ”Jade. Health, wealth, and happiness.”

”Well, it worked for me.”

”Hmm. Maybe not the health part if you don't watch yourself.”

”Why?”

”The drinking, Jax.”

He ignores me and reaches behind his head to unfasten the necklace. ”Here.” The stone dangles from the leather towards his face as he holds the pendant out to me.

”Why are you giving me that?”

”Jade protects against negative energy too. You could do with some protection from s.h.i.+t.”