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“She’s on all the big networks,” Cooper said. He tried ESPN, only to find the same thing. “Holy s.h.i.+t, dude — she’s on all the channels.”

“She’s a stinky, hate-filled, nasty—”

“Hold on a sec,” Cooper said. “This has to be something big.”

Jeff propped himself up on one elbow to watch.

“I already feel like a bag of a.s.sholes,” he said. “And now this? I hope it’s not another Detroit. Hey, Coop, you feel sick?”

Cooper gestured to the pile of Kleenex on the little lampstand next to his bed. “Yeah. I do.” He pressed the “volume” b.u.t.ton.

“… an unprecedented threat upon our great nation, and one that requires unprecedented action. My fellow Americans, we are mobilizing a swift and thorough response. I am in constant contact with the world’s leaders. Every nation on earth is working together to win this battle.”

The camera angle s.h.i.+fted, panning across a half-bowl of applauding politicians. Was that Congress? Cooper could never remember if that was the House, the Senate, or if they all met in some special room for things like this. What he did know was all the politicians looked the same: rich f.u.c.kers who raped the system, the only differences between them being ties and dresses of red or blue.

A news ticker ran across the bottom of the screen:

… INFECTIOUS AGENT THAT RESULTED IN THE DETROIT DISASTER IDENTIFIED … SCIENTISTS HAVE DISCOVERED WAY TO INOCULATE AGAINST THE INFECTION … PRESIDENT BLACKMON CLAIMS “DISEASE WILL BE WIPED FROM THE FACE OF THE EARTH” …

“Holy s.h.i.+t,” Cooper said. “It is another Detroit.”

Jeff flopped his head back into the pillow. “Told ya. Holler if they say Chicago — otherwise, I don’t give a s.h.i.+t. I’m going back to sleep. I feel like I got face-f.u.c.ked by a rabid buffalo.”

The applause died down. Blackmon continued.

“Even as I speak to you now, factories all over America are collaborating in the largest unified manufacturing initiative since World War II. Distributors, s.h.i.+pping companies and grocery store chains are all cooperating with FEMA to bring you the medicine that will keep you safe. Over five hundred corporate sponsors have signed up to fund this initiative. More join the cause every hour. We are faced with a challenge to not only our country, but to every person on our planet. With G.o.d’s help, America is taking the lead to protect the human race.”

The audience cheered again, louder this time. At least some of them did. Cooper didn’t follow politics, but it looked like only the Republicans were standing. The still-seated Democrats applauded politely.

Cooper looked at Jeff. “Protect the human race? Is this even bigger than Detroit?”

Jeff shrugged. He didn’t seem to notice the yellow bit of snot dangling from his nose.