Part 7 (1/2)

Madeline's mood had eased noticeably as well.

”So let's get back to our 'getting to know Jo' conversation,” Madeline said.

”Sounds a little boring to me, but okay. What do you want to know?” It was a dangerous question, and Jo knew it. But after the kiss they had shared, she had decided Madeline deserved to know the truth. Only if she asked, though. Jo wouldn't volunteer the information.

”Let's see,” Madeline teased. ”How many questions do I get?”

Jo thought this over in her head. ”Seven,” she answered.

”Why seven?”

”It's a lucky number.” Jo took a bite of her brownie. ”And now you're down to six questions.”

”d.a.m.n, I guess I'll have to be more careful.”

Jo nodded.

”So when you were a kid, what did you want to be? Was it always a political speechwriter?” Madeline asked and they each laughed.

”Honestly, I wanted to be a kangaroo,” Jo said, sending them both into a fit of laughter.

”Seriously?” Madeline asked.

”Yes, seriously, but when my mother told me that wasn't possible, I told her I'd settle for being a ninja. Over time, I grew up and wanted to be an author.”

”You could have been a ninja kangaroo who wrote books,” Madeline offered.

”That would be the definition of living the dream, now wouldn't it?”

Jo loved these moments. She loved sharing her life with Madeline.

Madeline's face turned serious as she began to ponder her next question. Jo mentally prepared herself to explain everything, but the difficult question didn't come.

”What's your favorite color?”

”Red,” Jo answered.

”Why do you want to be an author?”

Jo considered the answer. ”I wanted to be an author. Now I'm not so sure.”

”Why not?”

”You're down to two more questions, but I'll answer anyway. I'm not sure what I want to do anymore. I've spent a lot of time being the dreamer, the optimist, the one who believes it'll all work out in the end. But I've seen enough of life now to know that it doesn't always. So I don't know how realistic it is to think that I could write books and make a living. It's much more practical to have a steady job and use whatever talent I possess at that.”

”It sounds like reality took the dream away from you.” Madeline's tone suggested she knew what that was like.

”I guess so,” Jo replied.

”Okay, so question number six is...” Madeline trailed off, obviously wanting to make the last two questions count. ”Well, you don't have to answer it if you don't want to, because it's a little more personal.”

Jo nodded. She knew what was coming.

”Jo, are you...are you...? Never mind, I'll think of another question.”

”Go ahead and ask it, on one condition,” Jo said, knowing the extent of the risk she was taking.

”Okay. What's the condition?” Madeline asked.

”Whatever is said here, stays here. We don't tell anyone else, and we don't let it affect work.”

”Deal,” Madeline said. ”I mean, after all you've seen, I hope the same applies to everything I've said.” She glanced away, with a bit of shame coloring her cheeks. ”And everything I've done,” she added.

”Of course,” Jo rea.s.sured her.

”Okay, well, then, my question is...are you a lesbian?”

Answering this question wasn't easy for Jo. In fact, admitting it to herself had been enough of a challenge. The first time she admitted it to someone else-her college roommate, the only person she'd ever told aside from girls she slept with-it had been excruciatingly painful. Nonetheless, she owed Madeline this much. She took a deep breath and forced herself to exhale, closing her eyes for a moment of stability as her heart hammered in her chest. She meant to answer audibly but couldn't find the strength to open her mouth. Her entire career-her whole life potentially-was on the line. It came down to trust, and she trusted Madeline. She took another breath and...nodded.

Madeline smiled, much to Jo's relief. ”Why do you work so hard to hide it?”

The question was gentle, but it cut Jo to the core. Why did she hide who she was like she had the plague? She had to, d.a.m.n it! Oklahoma City might have a policy that prohibited discrimination in employment for s.e.xual orientation, but elsewhere in the state discriminating on the basis of orientation was perfectly legal. h.e.l.l, the governor had gone so far as to try to inst.i.tute a local version of ”Don't ask, don't tell” in the Oklahoma National Guard. And don't get her started on what she'd heard in local pulpits from childhood until she'd finally stopped attending church several years, pleading the press of her work.

”It's not that easy, I guess. My parents, friends, co-workers-they wouldn't understand.” Jo gave a rueful laugh. ”h.e.l.l, I never thought you would understand, especially after that DOMA stuff.”

”Sometimes we feel like we have to keep secrets. I get that, but I think you should know that who you are is beautiful. In fact, I think you should embrace it and be who you are.”

Jo felt relief flow through her body.

”Also, I'm sorry about the whole DOMA thing. I must have come across as a royal b.i.t.c.h,” Madeline said. ”It's just...You have to do that stuff to get elected on our side of the ticket nowadays. And I have to get reelected. There are still so many issues to tackle, like our continuing problem with corruption. If I can get in for one more term, I can keep working for the greater good of the city. It's a necessary evil.”

”It doesn't make it any easier to deal with,” Jo said with a shrug. ”But I get it. After all, I was raised in that environment. You say what you have to say to keep people off your trail, to keep people happy.”

”You probably get it a little too well,” Madeline said, a mixture of sympathy and embarra.s.sment over her simplistic political stances playing on her face. ”I really am sorry.”

Jo nodded, taking the apology to heart. Coming out to Madeline was much easier than Jo could have ever imagined. Madeline still had one question left, though. Jo wasn't sure she wanted to remind her. Before she could decide, Madeline shocked her again, blurting out, ”I've slept with a woman.”

Jo's jaw fell open. This wasn't the kind of thing one simply said and then moved on to discuss the weather or the prospects of the local pro basketball team. It caught her totally off guard.

”Really?” was the only reply she could manage.

”Yes, really.” Madeline closed her eyes as if trying to relive every detail. ”Her name was Natalie. We were roommates our freshman year of college. She was beautiful, and I felt so comfortable sharing my life with her. We would stay up late talking every night, well into the morning hours. We would go to lunch every day in the cafeteria. We were pretty much inseparable.” Madeline paused, smiling at the memory.

”One night, at a party, some guys dared us to make out with each other. We had been drinking heavily, so we did. I don't remember much about it, but we can blame that on the Wild Turkey. All I remember is feeling incomplete when she pulled her lips from mine. When we got back to our room that night, she shut the door behind us and threw me up against the wall. She kissed me pa.s.sionately, and when she pulled back, she told me that she had wanted to do that all night.”

Madeline opened her eyes and came back to present day.