Part 25 (1/2)

”So it does,” acquiesced Ben.

”They'd oughter give us our breakfast.”

”I'm afraid they won't see it in that light.”

The old lady went down to breakfast, and grudgingly paid out twenty cents more for tea and toast. She was in hopes Ben would get some meat and offer her a portion; but he, too, felt the necessity of being economical, and ordered something less expensive.

Prof. Crane attempted to renew his phrenological examinations, but could only obtain two subjects.

”Shan't I examine your head?' he asked insinuatingly of the old lady.

”No, you shan't,” she answered tartly. ”I don't want you pawing over me.”

”Don't you want me to describe your character?”

”No, I don't. Like as not, you'd slander me.”

”Oh, no, ma'am; I should only indicate, by an examination of your b.u.mps, your various tendencies and proclivities.”

”I don't believe I've got any b.u.mps.”

”Oh, yes, you have. We all have them. I shall only ask you twenty-five cents for an examination.”

”I won't give it,” said the old lady, resolutely clutching her purse, as if she feared a violent effort to dispossess her of it. ”I can't afford it.”

”It is a very small sum to pay for the knowledge of yourself.”

”I guess I know myself better than you do,” said the old lady, nodding her head vigorously. Then, yielding to an impulse of curiosity: ”Say, mister, is it a pretty good business, examinin'

heads?”

”It ought to be,” answered the professor, ”if the world were thoroughly alive to the importance of the n.o.ble science of phrenology.”

”I don't see what use it is.”

”Let me tell you, then, ma'am. You have doubtless employed servants that proved unworthy of your confidence.”

The old lady a.s.sented.

”Now if you had employed a phrenologist to examine a servant's head before engaging her, he would have told you at once whether she was likely to prove honest and faithful, or the reverse.”

”You don't say!” exclaimed the old lady, beginning to be impressed. ”Well, that would be something, I declare. Now, there's Mirandy Jones, used to work for me--I'm almost certain she stole one of my best caps.”

”To wear herself?” asked Ben demurely.

”No, she wanted it for her grandmother. I'm almost sure I saw it on the old woman's head at the sewin' circle one afternoon.

Then, again, there was Susan Thompson. She was the laziest, sleepiest gal I ever see. Why, one day I went into the kitchen, and what do you think? There she stood, in the middle of the floor, leanin' her head over her broom fast asleep.”