Part 33 (1/2)

My garden is great joy to me. Even you, I think, would allow me a moderate amount of ”grubbing” in between brain work.

TO MRS. GOING.

Thursday (December 1883).

MY DEAR MRS. GOING,

You are too profusely good to me. Have you really _given me_ Quarles?

I have never even seen his _School of the Heart_, and am charmed with it. The Hieroglyphics of the life of Man were in the very old copy of _Emblems_ belonging to my Mother which I have known all my life.

Thank you a thousand times.

I write for a seemingly ungracious purpose, but I know you will comprehend my infirmities! I am not at all well. I had hoped to be better by the time your young ladies came--but luck (and I fear a little chill in the garden!) have been against me. I tried to get _Macbeth_ deferred but it could not be--and I think my only hope of enduring a long drive, and appearing as Lady Macbeth on Sat.u.r.day evening with any approach to ”undaunted mettle”--is to shut myself up in absolute silence and rest for several hours before we start. This, alas! means that it would be better for your young ladies (what is left of them, after brain f.a.g and fish dinners!) to return to you by an earlier train, as I could be ”no account” to them on Sat.u.r.day afternoon.

_I'll take care_ of _the poor students_ though I _am_ not at my best!

Their fish is ordered. We will spend a soothing evening on sofas and easy chairs--and go early to bed! They shall have breakfast in bed if they like. This does not sound amusing but I think it will be wholesome for their relics!

Again thanking you for the dear little book--which comes in so nicely for Advent!

TO MRS. R.H. JELF.

DEAREST MARNY,

The Queers' letters are VERY nice. Thank them with my love.

Forgive pencil, dear--I'm in bed. Got rid of my throat--and now all my ”body and bones” seem to have given way, I thought it was lumbago or sciatica--but Rex said--”Simply nerve exhaustion from over-writing”--so I took to bed (for I couldn't walk!), high living and quinine! I hope I'll soon be round again. The vile body is a nuisance. I've got a story in my head--and that seems to take the vital force out of my legs!!!

Apropos to Richard's _Churchwarden's_ conscience, does he remember the (possibly churchwarden!) ”soul long hovering in fear and doubt”--in a Kempis, who prostrated himself in prayer and groaned--”Oh if I only _knew that I should persevere_!” To whom came the answer of G.o.d--”If thou _didst_ know it, what wouldst thou do then? Continue to _do that_ and thou shalt be safe.”

His letter and yours were _very_ comforting. I was just feeling very low about my writing. I always do when I have to re-read for new editions! It does seem such twaddle--and so unlike what I want to say!

Thank you greatly for believing in me!

Your loving, J.H.E.

TO MRS. HOWARD.

_Villa Ponente, Taunton._ Jan. 18, 1884.

MY DEAR MRS. HOWARD,

In this Green Winter (and _you_ know how I love a Green Winter!) you and all your kindness comes back so often to my mind. ”Grenoside” is a closed leaf in my life as well as in yours, but it is one that I shall never forget so long as I can remember any of the things that have mitigated the pains of life for me, or added to its pleasures!--The bits of Green Winter I enjoyed with you did both--I hardly know which the most! For the pleasure was very great, and the benefit immeasurable--though now a fair amount of strength and ”all my faculties” have come back to me, I feel what a very tedious companion I must have been when _vegetating_ was all I was fit for, and I did such delightful vegetating between your sofa--and Greno Wood.