Part 13 (2/2)
”Grace, stop.”
”Grace.” I feel a strong hand on mine and recognize the voice and when I turn around I see the man I love with all my heart standing in front of me, begging me not to keep running.
”What's the matter? Where are you going?” He says as he holds my arms at the side of me so I can't move.
”I had to go.”
”Why?”
”Because I was confused.”
”Babe, you need to do better than that.” I can't help but laugh when he says that and instantly as with all the other times he makes me feel better.
”Don't go laughing, thinking I'm going to change the subject.” He says as I can see the struggle within him as he tries to control his own laughter.
”I'm sorry; I am just so f.u.c.ked up.” He runs his fingers through my hair and then places them on each of my cheeks so that Samuel is now holding my face in his hands.
”I know you are, Grace.” He kisses my nose and gives me a smile. He uses a finger to graze my hairline as he continues.
”I can only hope that one day you will have faith in me and tell me what's going on in here.” He places both hands on my head and then moves them to my heart. ”And here.”
He slowly moves both his hands down my waist and then moves them to around my back where he pushes me into his body and leaves his arms around me where I yet again feel I belong.
”Will you tell me one day?”
”I will, I promise.” He looks down at me and there's that beautiful smile again and my heart melts even further in love than I already am.
”I have to be ready though.” I say, just to remind him that I am still so mixed up with my feelings and past.
”I know. Come, let's go home.” He lets go of my waist and takes a hold of one of my hands and leads me back through the grounds of his family's estate to the front of the property where the cars are all waiting for their owners. As we come into view of Samuel's his driver steps out of the front and opens one of the back doors so that we can enter. Samuel holds my hand as I step in and then he steps around the back of the car and comes in through the other door. As he sits down he scoots over next to me and I settle myself into his arms so my head is resting on his chest where I can feel the steady thumps of his heart and smell his scent that fills my body with a calmness that only this man can give me.
The following day I persuade Samuel to just let me stay in his apartment. I can't face doing anything or seeing him, but by the end of the day he has me out of my room. We don't talk; I have nothing to say except the words I'm too afraid to.
The next day we sit in Samuel's New York office like we are sitting ducks, just waiting for whatever is going to happen to happen.
”Why are we here, Samuel?” I ask him as he takes a seat by the side of me.
”We're waiting for my father and uncle.”
”Why?”
”They wanted to speak to us before we go back to London.”
”Why, Samuel?” And at his evasive att.i.tude I can't help, but think that maybe they have come to tell us they don't approve of me.
That I will be going back to London on my own and I should stay clear of their heir. The possibility is very high, they only have to do their research and they will be able to dig up a load of dirt on me. As I sit there watching Samuel watch me I wonder why we haven't already had a conversation about my past, it's bound to come up at some point and when it does I should be prepared for it. I can feel Samuel's hand pinch my own.
”Stop doing that.”
”What?” I ask with a questioning tone I can't help but add.
”I know what you are doing and I want you to stop.” I raise an eyebrow in question as I wait for his answer.
”You're always over thinking things and I want you to stop.” All I can do is smile and just as I lean in, the door to Samuel's office opens and in walks his father and uncle looking like they are two men on a mission. I don't know why, but I instantly know it's about me and I suddenly feel completely out of my comfort zone and it's as if the walls of Samuel's office are alight with fire and the intense heat is closing in around me, suffocating me in the process. I am grateful when Samuel draws me away from my thoughts, when he comes into my line of sight and bends down in front of me so we are eye level. As he watches me it's as if it's only the two of us in the room, no-one else exists as I watch his lips move as he comforts me with the words I can't hear.
”Grace.”
”Grace, look at me.” As if a switch is turned on I can suddenly hear the sound of Samuel's calming voice.
”Grace, my uncle would like to ask you a few questions.” He places his hands on top of mine which are settled on my lap. I look over at his uncle and he gives me a comforting smile and I know from that smile I have nothing to be scared about. Samuel's whole family has been nothing, but welcoming and kind to me and I know I have nothing to fear.
”What my uncle asks you. There's nothing to be scared of, OK?”
”OK” And I look towards his uncle to begin just as he and Edward take a seat so we are all sat in an almost circle in the middle of the office. Samuel still has a hold of my hand and all three men look somewhat nervous yet content.
”What do you remember about your father, Grace?”
”W...what?” I look between the three men, but none of them give anything away.
”Why would you want to know about my father?” I ask again and I can feel Samuel's squeeze of my hand just as my heart begins to beat faster against the confines of my chest.
”Can you tell us, Grace?” Samuel asks. I look again between the three men and I don't know what comes over me after I take in a deep breath as I attempt for the first time to tell someone about my father.
”I don't remember much just that my mother told me he left us.” Samuel's uncle leans in with hopefulness in his eyes as he asks me.
”Can you tell us what you remember?”
”I think he may have had money, I remember a beautiful home and other children, but I can't remember what he looked like.” I look around the room as I get the courage to say the next bit that my mother always made sure I remembered. It was, after all, the most important part of the story.
”My mother said that one day he had just had enough of me and forced us out. We were left all on our own and he never once tried to contact us to see what happened to us.” All of a sudden Samuel's uncle stands up with such anger as he begins to shout.
”The b.i.t.c.h! I can't believe she told you that!”
”What do you mean?” Just as the uncle is about to answer Samuel gets in before him and asks me another question.
”What's your mother's name, Grace?”
”My mother's name? Why do you want to know that? What is this, Samuel? What do you think you know about me?” Samuel looks toward the other two men and then his uncle looks to me and bends down on his knees as Samuel had done earlier so we are at eye level with each other. I can't quite understand it, but as I look closely into his eyes it's as if I am looking into the depths of my own eyes. There is a similarity to them that I don't understand. I try to shake the unease I get at that thought, but it doesn't seem to want to leave me. I feel so confused. So much has been going on in my life since I met Samuel and his family, but I have never felt so cared for and safe.
”Can you tell me, Grace? Please.” I have no idea why, but for some strange reason I get the feeling that I can trust this man, that he and his family may be the first that won't feel hatred of me as I tell them my story.
”My mother's name is Jennifer Cross Ford, but she mainly went by Jen Ford.” As soon as I say the first two names every one gives away a small sigh of relief and I look towards all three of them to get an answer. Why would they react that way? It doesn't make any sense, but before I can get my answers Edward's mobile goes off.
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