Part 10 (1/2)

He's looked after me and worried about me.

He's consuming all my thoughts so that all I can think about is him. How he makes me feel with every look he gives me, every word he says engulfing me within madness only he conjures up with his magical powers. Even though I feel intensity to him much greater than I ever thought possible I hate him also. I love and hate him for all the feelings he's making me feel so that I am powerless to stop myself.

He looked after me, though, when I needed him. After so many years of having to look out for myself when no-one else would Samuel had done it without even being asked. As I think back over the way he has made me feel, the look of concern on his face would embed itself in my brain for an eternity, reminding me how much he cares.

Could he allow himself to care for longer than a few moments though?

Will he still want to when he knows my past?

When he knows what I do to the ones I love.

I care too much, I think I may love Samuel far too much to allow him to get sucked into all my bad ways and if something were to happen with us that is what would happen to him and I can't let that happen. I just can't. I know once he knows the truth, when it has something to do with me he won't want to know. Whether the whole thing is true or not will have to wait. The only thing I am truly interested in is my raging hormones to that man. Ever since I met him that night in the club I've been drawn to him, as much as I try to deny it, I can't.

I am beginning to want him. I do want him with such a heat it feels as if any moment the flames will engulf me, surrounding me with their intensity. With each day pa.s.sing by he is drawing me in, drawing me closer to his web and when I am finally caught Samuel will unleash his fangs and destroy me with a simple touch. The more I stay the stronger his pull will pull me in and I can't do that to myself or even to Samuel. His effect will last on me, but his fascination won't and then I will be left all alone just like before with those crus.h.i.+ng words destroying my every waking thought, just like before. There is no denying it, it would be better if I leave.

I can no longer stay so close to him wondering when he will finally see sense and think of me like all those others had.

I have to leave; I can no longer work for him.

It is the only thing that makes sense.

CHAPTER TWENTY TWO.

GRACE.

”Grace, what is this?” I take in a deep breath as I try not to make eye contact with the man I love. I love him. I love Samuel Harding and right now he's holding the white envelope, waving it in front of me as I feel the panic overtake me. I don't want to do this, but I know I have to. I love the man in front of me from my toes to my head, but I'm too damaged to deserve him. As much as I don't want to do what that letter suggests I know I have to. My life has forced me to be realistic and I must do it. I'm sure there is no way he could feel the same about me, no that's not right, I know he doesn't feel the same way about me and I and he are safer if I just end this thing we have now. How could I be so stupid? I should have seen that something like this would happen. He did something to me the moment I first laid eyes on him and the attraction between the two of us has only gotten worse the longer I have stayed working for him. I can see Samuel pick the envelope between his fingers and look it over as he watches my entire body shake with nerves.

”What is this, Grace?” I can't look at him, I can't. If I look into those beautiful eyes I will succ.u.mb to him and retract the b.l.o.o.d.y thing and I can't do it any longer. I can no longer do this and try and fight the demons that lie beneath my troubled mind.

”Grace, look at me” I begin to shake my head, but before I know what is happening I can feel Samuel's warm hands on either side of my face, trying to get me to lift it so he can bewitch me with his eyes.

”What's wrong?” I look into his eyes and I see the pleading that lies beneath those beautiful grey irises.

”I can't do this any longer.” I whisper.

”What?”

”It's my resignation.” At that one word I can see the shock in his eyes and I want to comfort him, but I know I can't.

”I can't be this close to you all the time. It's not good.” I take in a shattering breath.

”It's too hard.” I attempt to go for my safety net around my wrist, but just before my fingers take it I pull away with a sigh.

”What do you mean?” He says while he pulls away from me and uses a finger along the edge of his jaw and I have to try and concentrate on other things rather than his handsome face and those d.a.m.n fingers that could do wonderful things to me.

”Samuel, you know what I mean.”

”We get on?” He asks me and before I answer him he talks again, more forcefully this time.

”I thought we got on.” And I watch while that finger brushes quicker along his jaw and his eyes swim with their worry and concern.

”We do.” I say, trying not to give away my emotions. ”We get on far too well. It's not good for business.” Another deep breath, that's all I seem to do around this man.

”That's the problem.” And I turn around to walk away into the seclusion of my own room, away from him where I really belong until I feel his hand in mine and in a flash he turns me around so I'm facing him yet again. His eyes are searching mine and he goes to place his hands on my face before he quickly pulls them back down his side again. I can feel the heavy breaths of his breathing against my own face and the firmness of his erection as it grows against me. This is all so wrong, we work together, he's my boss and if that wasn't bad enough I'm not a good omen for the people around me. The newspaper from yesterday tells us that, they caught us once and already I have given him and his family bad press and I can't do it to him. We're not even in a relations.h.i.+p, only a work, so what would happen if we were in a different one? I can feel my body heat rise while I try to control the sudden urge to vomit, yet again.

”Why is that a problem?”

”You know why it's a problem”

”No, I don't, that's why I'm asking you. You seem to be the only one with a problem here, sweet cheeks.” Did he just call me sweet cheeks again? Why did I love it and hate it all at the same time, it didn't make any sense, but when did anything in my life make any sense. I attempt to look away from him and run away, but he has a firm hold on my hand so as my head looks down he uses his other hand to take a firm grip of my chin and raise my head for me so I'm looking once again into his eyes.

”Talk to me, Grace.”

”Please.” And there's that look again that every time he uses I find hard to ignore.

”You've been messing around with me since we first met and I've had enough of it.”

”And what, may I ask, have I done?”

”You know exactly what this is about, Samuel.”

”I have no idea what you're on about, sweet cheeks.” He gives me a look that tells me he knows exactly what he's been doing to me, the b.a.s.t.a.r.d, and I can feel my blood begin to boil within my veins, making me flush to new extremes even for me and I want him. I want him to take me in his arms and take away all the pain I hold in my heart. I want to feel his lips against my own as he ravishes me with a love so great that it will blind me with its power. I shake my head to try and get rid of those thoughts, why does he always make me feel like this, so crazy that I have no control over my own thoughts, just pulling on the strings that entrap me.

”Arghhhh you're so annoying. Can't you just accept the resignation and be done with me? It'll be the right thing to do in the long run.”

”No I can't, you're the best I've ever had.”

”What?”

”You heard me, sweet cheeks, and I don't just mean about your job.” I can't help, but pull away from him and walk across the room while running my fingers through my hair and giving it a small tug as I do it. I have the sudden urge for my band again, but I've been doing so well and I fight it.

Fight it. Fight it.

You don't need it, you don't.

”Grace, would you stop and look at me please.” I stop and watch him and he looks so confident and s.e.xy and all I can think is how I want to rip his clothes off and feel him fill me. Oh G.o.d, what is it with this man? Why does he always leave me feeling like this? I have never been like this over a man before and I really don't like it, it scares me. It scares my entire being and I can't control myself for too much longer, I know if I stay I will do something I will regret.

”You know what, you're so impossible, I hate you sometimes.” I shout.

”You hate me.”

”Yes I hate you, so just let me quit already.”

”I can't let you do that, Grace. Besides, we both know your body is giving away your real feelings.”