Part 34 (1/2)

”Great Jehoshaphat and gully dirt! Let's get him! Come on, y'all! Let's get him down to my store and hold him there till we can send for the sheriff!”

Doctor Elton caught Papa's elbow. ”Wait a minute, Jodie!

Let's sorta stroll out slow-so we don't start a commotion. Let's make out like we're all dying to look at the automobile. Then, the minute he steps to the ground, grab him!”

”Yeah, we'll do it that way,” Papa agreed.

Doctor Elton, moving along right behind Papa, began chewing his cigar faster than ever. ”If we can ever plow our way through this jam of folks, we'll-G.o.d!

Too late! Here he comes busting in the church! He's got a gun, Jodie!”

The front door had swung open, and there stood Mister Ward-waving a pistol above his head!

”Merr-rr-r Chris- Chris'mus! Merr-rr-r Chris'mus, ever'-body!”

Papa, the doctor, and Uncle Dan rushed on toward him, while everybody standing in the front of the church just sort of melted back against the walls-tramping one another's feet as they scrambled out of the way.

Doctor Elton croaked out, ”Why, h.e.l.lo there, Ward,” and slapped him on the back like he was glad to see him. Papa grabbed his arm, Uncle Dan, his coat!

Before I could see what would happen next, Mister Shepherd pulled me back from the aisle and had me scrooch down under a bench. Here, I couldn't see a thing but shoes and britches legs and Captain Jones's walking stick. I couldn't even hear what Papa and the other men were telling Mister Ward. But I could sure hear Mister Ward talking-loud, and like his mouth was full of baked 'taters.

”Y'all s'prised to see me, ain't you? What y'all grabbin' me for? I ain't done nothin'! Charged with kidnappin'? h.e.l.l, I just took the young'un for a automobile ride. Weren't my fault she jumped out. Anyhow, y'all found her. I come to get Ophelia and my young'uns. I ain't havin' my baby boy in no Chris'mus doin's with them d.a.m.n Baileys. Naw, Doc, don't touch my gun! Where's Wes Bailey? I brung him a message from Addie Mae. Wes thinks I don't know where she's at! Doc, Wes is here, ain't he? Somebody tell Wes to come see my automobile! I bought the first automobile in Drake Eye Springs! What'd you say, Doc? h.e.l.l, yeah, you can ride on it! I left the motor runnin'.”

I raised up, peeping, to see if I could see Mister Wes. I saw him, trying his best to get to Mister Ward. But he couldn't break away from Miss Lida Belle and Mister Goode, who had him hemmed up in the corner. He was twisting and turning, but they wouldn't let go!

Mister Ward's loud, blubbering talk got louder.

”Wes, I see you now! Cuss your hide, come out and look at my automobile! I'm aimin' for you to take one good, long look at it-'fore I shoot you! Soon's I tell you what Addie Mae says, I'll kill you! Naw, Doc! Lemme have my pistol back! I gotta use it!

I'm startin' up the Williams-Parker feud again! I ain't Jake Williams's great nephew for nothin'! Great nephew! Sounds plum good! My Uncle Jake, he stopped the feudin' one Chris'mus Eve.

I'm a-startin' it back tonight! You men are just dyin' to see my automobile? Sh.o.r.e, I got plenty time to show y'all! Come on!

h.e.l.l, yeah, I'll let all y'all ride it!”

The church door slammed.

Everybody started milling around, talking all at once and making such a babble I couldn't tell who was saying what.

”Hush and sit still, Ophelia! Sit still!” That was Miss d.i.n.k.

”No, Wes! I don't care if you are the Justice of the Peace!

He'll kill you! You heard him say it, didn't you?” That couldn't be anybody except Miss Lida Belle.

”I gotta go!”

Mister Goode hollered, ”Wes, you'd better stay right here in this church! They can handle him! I'll go phone the sheriff myself!”

Mister Shepherd grabbed up Captain Jones's walking stick and started rapping the pew above my head with it. He almost hit me!

”Let's be calm,” he called out. He kept rapping till everybody got quiet. ”Take your hymnals, please, and we'll sing another Christmas song. Then Miss Vic and the young folks can proceed with pa.s.sing out the gifts. Miss Bess, please start playing the organ. I suggest we sing 'Angels We Have Heard On High.' It's a fine, fine old French hymn! You'll find it on page seventeen.”

Bess started playing the organ. I didn't know whether to stand up to sing or not. n.o.body could hear me if I kept sitting on the floor.