Part 38 (1/2)

Those things are absolutely necessary to the success of the show. They cost thousands of pounds sometimes. Now, who pays for them? The charity pays, and is jolly glad to. The price of them is deducted from the gross receipts and the balance is handed over to the hospital. Is there anything dishonest about that?”

”There is not, of course,” said Father McCormack. ”It's always done.”

”Wouldn't a bishop do it? A bishop of any church?”

”Lots of them do,” said Father McCormack.

”Well, if a bishop would do it, it can't be dishonest,” said Dr.

O'Grady. ”You'll agree to that, I suppose, Major? You won't want to accuse the hierarchy of Ireland, Protestant and Roman Catholics, of flying in the face of the ten commandments.”

The Major had sat down again. While Dr. O'Grady was speaking he turned his chair half round and stared out of the window. He wished to convey the impression that he was not listening to a word that was said. When Dr. O'Grady appealed to him directly he turned round again and answered:

”It's dishonest to take money given for one purpose and use it for another,” he said.

”I'm with you there, Major,” said Father McCormack. ”I'm with you there.”

”Are you prepared,” said Dr. O'Grady, ”to go back on the whole theory of necessary expenses? Would you refuse to allow the unfortunate secretary of a charitable society to refund himself for the postage stamps he uses in sending out his appeals?”

”Secretaries have nothing to do with us,” said the Major. ”This is a simple question of right and wrong.”

”You haven't quite caught my point yet,” said Dr. O'Grady patiently.

”What I'm trying to explain to you is this: we're in exactly the same position as the charity that's getting up a bazaar. In order to make the money we want for the good of the town?the good of the town, mind you, Major?that's a worthy object.”

”A pier wouldn't be any good if you had it,” said the Major.

”A lot of money would be spent building it,” said Dr. O'Grady, ”and that would do us all good. But in order to get a pier we must incur some expense. We shan't get the pier unless we succeed in enticing a Lord-Lieutenant down here.”

”You will not,” said Doyle. ”It's waste of time writing letters to those fellows, for they don't read them.”

”And we can't get the Lord-Lieutenant down unless we have a statue for him to unveil,” said Dr. O'Grady.

”He wouldn't come without he had something of the sort,” said Father McCormack. ”That's sure.”

”Therefore,” said Dr. O'Grady, ”the statue is a necessary part of our expenses in getting the pier. So is the illuminated address. So is the bouquet. And we're just as well ent.i.tled to charge what they all cost us against the money we succeed in making, as the secretary of a charitable bazaar is to debit his gross earnings with the hire of the hall in which the show is held.”

”Now that you put it in that way,” said Father McCormack, ”I can see well that there's something in what you say.”

”Honesty and dishonesty are two different things,” said the Major.

”Don't keep on making those bald and senseless a.s.sertions,” said Dr.

O'Grady. ”Even an income tax collector, and he's the most sceptical kind of man there is with regard to a.s.sertions about money?but even he allows his victims to deduct the expenses necessarily incurred in making their incomes from the gross amount which they return to him. You can't want to go behind the income tax authorities, Major.”

”It's all very well arguing,” said the Major, ”and I can't answer you when you confuse things in the way you do. But I know perfectly well that it isn't right??”

”Well do what the doctor says, anyway,” said Doyle. ”Doesn't the Government rob the whole of us every day more than ever we'll be able to rob it?”

”There's something in that, too,” said Father McCormack.

Curiously enough Doyle's statement produced far more effect on Major Kent's mind than the elaborate arguments of Dr. O'Grady. He was accustomed to gnash his teeth over the burden of taxation laid upon him.

He had often, in private conversation, described governments, especially Liberal Governments, as bandits and thieves.