Part 16 (2/2)
”Doctor, I've just thought of something. I saw a picture in the paper to-night of a big philanthropist named Trubus, or something like that, who is fighting Raines Law Hotels, improper novels, bad moving pictures and improving morals in general. How do you think it would do to give him a tip about these fellows? He asks for more money from the public to carry on their work. They had a big banquet in his honor last night.”
MacFarland laughed, and took from his desk a letter, which he handed to Bob with a wink. The young officer was surprised, but took the paper, and glanced at it.
”There, Burke, read this letter. If I get one of these a day, I get five, all in the same tune. Isn't that enough to make a man die a miser?”
Officer 4434 took the letter over to the doctor's student lamp and read with amus.e.m.e.nt:
”DEAR SIR--The Purity League is waging the great battle against sin.
”You are doubtless aware that in this glorious work it is necessary for us to defray office and other expenses. Whatever t.i.the of your blessings can be donated to our Rescue Fund will be bread cast upon the waters to return tenfold.
”A poor widow, whose only child is a beautiful girl of seventeen, has been taken under the care of our gentle nurses. This unfortunate woman, a devout church attendant, has been prostrated by the wanton conduct of her daughter, who has left the influence of home to enter upon a life of wickedness.
”If you will contribute one hundred dollars to the support of this miserable old creature, we will have collected enough to pay her a pension from the interest of the fund of ten dollars monthly. Upon receipt of your check for this amount we will send you, express prepaid, a framed members.h.i.+p certificate, richly embossed in gold, and signed by the President, Treasurer and Chaplain-Secretary of the Purity League. Your name will be entered upon our roster as a patron of the organization.
”Make all checks payable to William Trubus, President, and on out-of-town checks kindly add clearing-house fee.
”'Charity shall cover the mult.i.tude of sins.'”--I Peter, iv. 8.
”Yours for the glory of the Cause, ”WILLIAM TRUBUS, ”President, The Purity League of N. Y.”
As Officer Burke finished the letter he looked quizzically at Dr.
MacFarland.
”How large was your check, doctor?”
”My boy, I came from Scotland. I will give you three guesses.”
”But, doctor, I see the top of the letter-head festooned with about twenty-five names, all of them millionaires. Why don't these men contribute the money direct? Then they could save the postage. This letter is printed, not typewritten. They must have sent out thousands about this poor old woman. Surely some millionaire could give up one monkey dinner and endow the old lady?”
”Burke, you're young in the ways of charity. That old woman is an endowment herself. She ought to bring enough royalties for the Purity League to buy three new mahogany desks, hire five new investigators and four extra stenographers.”
The old doctor's kindly face lost its geniality as he pounded on the table with rising ire.
”Burke, I have looked into this organized charity game. It is a disgrace. Out of every hundred dollars given to a really worthy cause, in answer to hundreds of thousands of letters, ninety dollars go to office and executive expenses. When a poor man or a starving woman finally yields to circ.u.mstances and applies to one of these richly-endowed inst.i.tutions, do you know what happens?”
Burke shook his head.
”The object of divine a.s.sistance enters a room, which has nice oak benches down either side. She, and most of them are women (for men have a chance to panhandle, and consider it more self-respecting to beg on the streets than from a religious corporation), waits her turn, until a dizzy blonde clerk beckons condescendingly. She advances to the rail, and gives her name, race, color, previous condition of servitude, her mother's great grandmother's maiden name, and a lot of other important charitable things. She is then referred to room six hundred and ninety. There she gives more of her autobiography. From this room she is sent to the inspection department, and she is investigated further. If the poor woman doesn't faint from hunger and exhaustion she keeps up this schedule until she has walked a Marathon around the fine white marble building devoted to charity. At last she gets a ticket for a meal, or a sort of trading stamp by which she can get a room for the night in a vermin-infested lodging house, upon the additional payment of thirty cents. Now, this may seem exaggerated, but honestly, my boy, I have given you just about the course of action of these scientific philanthropic enterprises. They are spic and span as the quarterdeck of a millionaire's yacht.”
MacFarland was so disgusted with the objects of his tirade that he tried three times before he could fill his old briar pipe.
”Doctor, why don't you air these opinions where they will count?” asked Bobbie. ”It's time to stop the graft.”
”When some newspaper is brave enough to risk the enmity of church people, who don't know real conditions, and thus lose a few subscribers, or when some really charitable people investigate for themselves, it will all come out. The real truth of that quotation at the bottom of the Purity League letter should be expressed this way: 'Charity covers a mult.i.tude of hypocrites and grafters.' And to my mind the dirtiest, foulest, lowest grafter in the world is the man who does it under the cloak of charity or religion. But a man who proclaims such a belief as mine is called an atheist and a destroyer of ideals.”
Burke looked at the old doctor admiringly.
<script>