Part 19 (1/2)

Dear Juliet am appalled Billee Bee in Guernsey to collect letters stop stop Do not I repeat DO NOT trust her Do not I repeat DO NOT trust her stop stop DO NOT give her anything DO NOT give her anything stop stop Ivor our new sub-editor saw Billee Bee and Gilly Gilbert (he of the Ivor our new sub-editor saw Billee Bee and Gilly Gilbert (he of the London Hue and Cry London Hue and Cry and late victim of your teapot-throwing) exchanging long loose-lipped kisses in the park and late victim of your teapot-throwing) exchanging long loose-lipped kisses in the park stop stop The two of them together bodes ill The two of them together bodes ill stop stop Send her packing without the Wilde letters Send her packing without the Wilde letters stop stop Love, Susan Love, Susan

From Juliet to Susan 25th August 1946 2 August 1946 2 AM AM

Dear Susan,

You are a heroine! Isola herewith grants you honorary members.h.i.+p of the Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society, and Kit is making you a special present that involves sand and paste (you'll want to open that parcel outside).

The telegram came in the nick of time. Isola and Kit had gone out early to collect herbs, and Billy Bee and I were alone in the house-I thought-when I read your telegram. I bolted upstairs and into her room-she was gone, her suitcase was gone, her handbag was gone, and the letters were gone!

I was terrified. I ran downstairs and telephoned Dawsey to come quickly and help look for her. He did, but first he called Booker and asked him to check the harbour. He was to stop Billee Bee from leaving Guernsey-at any cost!

'Dawsey arrived quickly and we hurried down the road to the airfield. I was half-trotting along behind him, looking in hedgerows and behind bushes. We'd reached Isola's farm when Dawsey suddenly stopped short and began to laugh.

There, sitting on the ground in front of Isola's smokehouse, were Kit and Isola. Kit was holding her new ferret (a gift from Billy Bee) and a big brown envelope. Isola was sitting on Billee Bee's suitcase-a picture of innocence, both of them-while an awful squawking was coming from inside the smokehouse.

I rushed to hug Kit and the envelope to me, while Dawsey undid the wooden peg from the smokehouse hasp. There, crouched in a corner, cursing and flailing, was Billee Bee-Isola's parrot Zen.o.bia flapping round her. She had already s.n.a.t.c.hed off Billee Bee's little cap, and pieces of angora wool were floating through the air.

Dawsey lifted her up and carried her outside while she screamed. She'd been set upon by a mad witch! a.s.saulted by her Familiar, a child-clearly one of the Devil's Own! We'd regret id There'd be legal action, arrests, prison for the lot of us! We wouldn't see daylight again!

'It's you who won't see daylight, you liar! Robber! Ingrate!' shouted Isola.

'You stole those letters,' I screamed. 'You stole them from Isola's biscuit tin and tried to sneak off with them! What were you and Gilly Gilbert going to do with them?'

Billee Bee shrieked, 'None of your business! Wait till I tell him what you've done to me!'

'You do that!' I snapped. 'Tell the world about you and Gilly. I can see the headlines now. 'Gilly Gilbert Lures Girl into Life of Crime! From Love-Nest to Lock-up! See Page Three!'

That shushed her for a moment and then, with the exquisite timing and presence of a great actor, Booker arrived, looking huge and vaguely official in an old army coat Remy was with him, carrying a hoe! Booker viewed the scene and glared so fiercely at Billee Bee that I was almost sorry for her.

He took her arm and said, 'Now, you'll collect your rightful belongings and take your leave. I won't arrest you-not this time! I will escort you to the harbour and personally put you on to the next boat to England.'

Billee Bee stumbled forward and picked up her suitcase and handbag. Then she made a lunge for Kit and tore the quilted ferret from her arms. 'I'm sorry I ever gave it to you, you little brat'

How I wanted to slap her! So I did-and I feel sure it jarred her back teeth loose. Island living must be going to my head.

My eyelids are drooping, but I must tell you the reason for Kit and Isola's early-morning herb collecting. Isola felt Billee Bee's head b.u.mps last night and didn't like her reading at all. B. B.'s Duplicitous b.u.mp was big as a goose egg. Kit told her she'd seen Billee Bee in her kitchen, prowling round the shelves. That was enough for Isola, and they put their surveillance plan in motion. They would shadow Billee Bee the next day and see-what they would see! see-what they would see!

They rose early, skulked behind bushes and saw Billee Bee tiptoeing out of my back door with a big envelope. They followed her until she reached Isola's farm. Isola pounced and pushed her into the smokehouse. Kit picked up all Billy Bee's possessions, and Isola went to get her claustrophobic parrot Zen.o.bia, and threw her into the smokehouse with Billee Bee.

But, Susan, what on earth were she and Gilly Gilbert going to do with the letters? Weren't they worried about being arrested for theft?

I am so grateful to you and Ivor. Please thank him for everything: his keen eyesight, his suspicious mind and his good sense. Better still, kiss him for me. He's wonderful! Shouldn't Sidney promote him from sub-editor to Editor in Chief?

Love, Juliet From Susan to Juliet 26th August 1946 August 1946

Dear Juliet,

Yes, Ivor is wonderful and I have told him so. I kissed him for you, and then once more for myself! Sidney did promote him-not to Editor in Chief, but I imagine he's well on his way.

What did Billee Bee and Gilly plan to do? You and I weren't in London when the 'teapot incident' broke-we missed the uproar. Every journalist and publisher who loathes Gilly Gilbert and The London Hue and Cry The London Hue and Cry-and there are plenty-was delighted. They thought it was hilarious and Sidney's statement to the press didn't do much to soothe matters-just whipped them into fresh fits of laughter. Well, neither Gilly nor the LH&C LH&C believes in forgiveness. Their motto is get even-be quiet, be patient, and wait for the day of vengeance to come, as it surely will! believes in forgiveness. Their motto is get even-be quiet, be patient, and wait for the day of vengeance to come, as it surely will!

Billee Bee, poor besotted b.o.o.by and Gilly's mistress, felt the shame even more keenly. Can't you see them huddled together, plotting? Billee Bee was to insinuate herself into Stephens & Stark, and find anything, anything at all, that would hurt you and Sidney, or better still, turn you into laughing stocks.

You know how rumours spread like wildfire round the publis.h.i.+ng world. Everyone knows you're in Guernsey writing a book about the Occupation, and in the last two weeks, people have begun to whisper that you've discovered a new Oscar Wilde work there (Sir William may be distinguished, but he's not discreet).

It was too good for Gilly to resist Billee Bee would steal the letters. The London Hue and Cry The London Hue and Cry would publish them, and you and Sidney would be scuppered. What fun they'd have! They'd worry about legal action later. And of course, never mind what it would do to Isola. would publish them, and you and Sidney would be scuppered. What fun they'd have! They'd worry about legal action later. And of course, never mind what it would do to Isola.

It makes me feel sick to think how close they came to succeeding. Thank G.o.d for Ivor and Isola-and Billee Bee's Duplicitous b.u.mp.

Ivor will fly over to copy the letters on Tuesday. He has found a yellow velvet ferret, with emerald-green feral eyes and ivory fangs for Kit I think she'll want to kiss him for it You can too-but keep it brief! I make no threats, Juliet-but Ivor is mine!

Love, Susan Telegram from Sidney to Juliet 26th August 1946 August 1946

I'll never leave London again stop stop Isola and Kit deserve a medal and so do you Isola and Kit deserve a medal and so do you stop stop Love Sidney Love Sidney From Juliet to Sophie 29th August 1946 August 1946