Part 16 (1/2)

”The f.u.c.k is wrong with me? The f.u.c.k's wrong with you?” I smile to show I'm only messing around. Everything feels like a dream where it's almost real life but some bits are off about it. There's some blanks I can't fill in.

”I was f.u.c.kin' worried sick, bro. Thought the worst but Mac wouldn't let us trail you.”

”Garrett,” I say.

”Yeah, ya f.u.c.k. It's f.u.c.kin' Garrett. Who the f.u.c.k you think I am?”

”Leave him alone, G. Landon's rockin' a mean hangover or something.”

I take my palm and squeeze Garrett's neck. My brother's are back; My MC brothers. Garrett is with me. I'm safer than I was. I have someone on my side.

”Where's Mac?” I recall some more memories. Maybe the context of the bar and my brothers is sparking some things. I remember I had something to do with him or for him.

”Aw, h.e.l.l no,” Garrett says. ”Ain't no G.o.dd.a.m.n way in h.e.l.l you're chatting to Prez like this. We gotta get you sobered up before the apology you owe him.”

”Apology?” That seemed a more plausible scenario than I had in mind. Why did I think this would be easy? I'd thought before about how maybe I'd run, that's why I was on the bike. s.h.i.+t. ”Is Prez p.i.s.sed?”

”What's with you? You know Mac don't forgive that quick. You'll be lucky if you get out of this with a f.u.c.king beating. Why the h.e.l.l did you tear your patches off?”

”I don't know...” I stumble over my words, trying to back away and running into another lump of human muscle. I turn and look up at his huge frame.

”Haven't seen you this blackout since that fight with Mia. Someone knock you over the head or somethin'?” I notice a badge on this guy's cut. Rev. It's Rev. And suddenly I know I know him too. ”Your brain's mush, bro.”

”Can't stop, won't stop.” I mumble and shrug at him.

”Yeah, we know that,” Garrett says. ”Get that a.s.s on the couch. I'll get the girls to cook you up some chow. You get some sleep and we'll figure this out later.”

I sit down on the sofa, forced to recline by Garrett's strength. ”I'm good man,” I protest but he'll have none of it.

”I know how stubborn you are. Now lay the f.u.c.k down before I put you to sleep.”

”Garrett,” I say. ”We gotta talk about something serious. I need help.”

”I know you got s.h.i.+t to talk about. But Prez said if we see you back in town to have him speak to you first. You know I can't be brought into more s.h.i.+t. If Prez thinks I'm hiding something from him about you, you know how he gets. I got the kid. I need Mac on my good side. You understand.”

I don't fight him longer than that. I f.u.c.ked up. I've got a punishment to face that might not be pretty. I forget about Lucy for a minute to save me the pain of thinking about our future. The sofa's comfortable. I figure I could take a rest on it a few hours, be up ready to handle whatever Mac's got in store then make it back to the motel before sunset.

Someone clears their throat.

I open my eyes into the room. Everything's dark now but I can make out the outline in the doorway. Standing six-foot-six, bald, rough and weather worn...It's Mac, who's leaned up against the door frame. He switches on the bright, fluorescent lights and I squint hard adjusting to them.

”Up,” he tells me and gestures his head for me to follow him into the clubhouse behind the bar.

He doesn't say another word until we're sat at the table where church - the club's official meetings - is held. He wipes his nose on his bandana and narrows his eyes to me.

”Talk.” His deep voice, the result of decades smoking two packs a day, croaks at me.

”I gotta start by letting you know I ain't thinkin' straight right now.”

”I don't want your G.o.dd.a.m.n excuses, boy. You can't handle your p.i.s.s. That ain't my worry.”

”I haven't had a drink, Mac. No disrespect but I crashed my bike, hit my head. Spent the last couple days trying to figure out who the f.u.c.k I am... But being here, some things seem to be clearing up.”

”I couldn't give two holy s.h.i.+ts about how you feel now. What I need to know is why you abandoned this club in the first place. Why you walked away from your brothers, from me. I gave you f.u.c.king everything!” His fist beats the table and he stands up, pacing behind my chair. ”You made a promise to me. You said you could handle this, that you wanted her, that you wanted this for the club and our families.”

He squeezes my face. I rage inside but don't fight back. ”Mac, Prez... I get you're upset. I get it....But I'm missing some memories. I fell off my bike. I don't know what you're talking about right now.”

His knuckles crack and his hands land on my shoulders. ”Seems convenient you'd lose your head at a time like this.”

”I swear to Christ, Mac, when I get it back I'll take whatever punishment you got but thing is I don't know what happened. I want to give you answers but I've got none. h.e.l.l, I can't even remember my own address.”

His thick, ringed fingers squeeze my shoulders. I flinch.

”What do you remember?”

”Garrett, when I saw his face. I remember Mia... Or at least, I remember her f.u.c.king name. It's on this ring...”

Mac groans. Some part of me remembers that sound... The sound someone heard right before a beatdown.

”I remember where I've been the last few days. I remember the accident. This girl, Lucy, she's been taking care o' me. She's here with me. She can back up the story.”

”Lucy?” he spins me around to look at him. Almost comically, he asks, ”Lucy Palermo? You did all this for Lucy f.u.c.king Palermo?”

”No... Her name is... Rivers. Lucy Rivers. She's just the girl who found me the night I wrecked. Put my shoulder back in its f.u.c.king socket. She's from down in Baddock National Park. Who the f.u.c.k is Lucy Palermo?”

”Kid...” I give him a blank look. ”You don't remember a Lucy Palermo in your life?” I shake my head. ”Then you need a f.u.c.king hospital.”

”Mac, look, I don't know why but I can't go to a hospital. What if I get arrested?”

”You lose your G.o.dd.a.m.n b.a.l.l.s in that accident? Get up. We're taking you to get some help. Don't you think for one second this is me letting you off the hook. Best believe one of the boys will be at your side twenty-four-seven watching what you're up to. If I find out you're lying to me, I'll cut your motherf.u.c.king d.i.c.k off. We'll finish this conversation later. Got it?”

”Got it.”

We move through the clubhouse and bar where someone catches my elbow. ”Landon,” she says. ”Thought you were going for good.”

”...Mia.”

She looks at me with a smile.

”You back to apologize?” she says.

I did something to her too?

This woman looks nothing like Lucy. Mia is Italian, s.e.xy, tough-looking with full lips, full hips and full t.i.ts. She's got long curly black hair and f.u.c.k-me green eyes.... And they don't do a G.o.dd.a.m.ned thing for me. She moves in close, and all I want to do is run.

”You want Mami to cook you dinner tonight?” she whispers in my ear.