Part 35 (2/2)

I loved those old ladies from England. If I ever visit, they're going to make me real tea.”

The two of them chatter about our road trip, and I reach for my ChapStick in my purse. I swipe it on and cross my arms.

”And what about that whale and that cute little boy...” Amy is saying.

”How can you not know what time your surgery is?” I blurt out.

They both stare at me.

”Do the doctors drop in whenever they have an urge to do an operation? They don't schedule things at this hospital?” I can't take more pretending. The antiseptic smell in the room is making me nauseous. The walls are too stark. It's all so loud, the hospital sounds.

”Morgan,” Adam says and gets to his feet, ”she's going to be okay.”

”I know that.” Her eyes blink at me, hurt. But I can't stop. ”I don't want to talk about that stupid trip. I don't want to talk about it anymore.”

Adam stands and frowns. He adjusts his gla.s.ses and then looks down at Amy. I follow his gaze. She's staring at me. Her lips are down and quivering. Her eyes fill with tears.

The trip where Adam and I first kissed. Where Amy became my best friend.

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sixteenthings.indd 244 9/9/13 2:21 PM.

1 6 t h i n g s i t h o u g h t w e r e t r u e ”I'm sorry,” I cry to both of them. ”I didn't mean that. I'm a self- centered jerk. I didn't mean it.”

No one contradicts me. A buzzer rings down the hall and feet shuffle past the door outside. ”It wasn't all great for you,” Amy says.

I sit down on the side of her bed and shake my head back and forth. ”No,” I repeat. ”There were good parts. Really good parts.

You. Adam. Me.” I glance back. Adam's leaning against the wall, his expression neutral. ”I'm sorry, Amy. I didn't mean it.”

Amy reaches for my hand. ”I know. I understand what you meant. Don't worry.” She turns to Adam. ”And so does he.”

Adam nods, and she looks out the window before turning back to me. ”For me, it was the most amazing thing ever. Maybe that sounds awful. Maybe I'm the one being self- centered and selfish.”

I shake my head, but she smiles at me. ”No. You're dealing with a huge family thing, and I feel bad for you, I do, but I have to admit, I had the time of my life.”

”I know,” I say softly. ”And it's okay. I get it.”

Amy reaches over and touches my hand. ”For so long, my life has been all about cancer. Everything revolved around it. Even when I out-lived the survival rate, I was still getting tested and watched. Even when I got my black belt in karate, it seemed like I got special treatment.

I wondered sometimes if I really deserved it. I was treated differently because they were afraid I might break. But then, when I got the job at Tinkerpark, no one knew and I met you guys. And the trip came up and...it was perfect. Not perfect for you, but perfectly real. You know?”

I wish I could take back my tantrum. ”I'm sorry,” I say again.

Adam comes over and sits beside me.

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sixteenthings.indd 245 9/9/13 2:21 PM.

J a n e t G u r t l e r ”It's okay. It's just that I got to be normal. Perfectly normal. You know?” She smiles at both of us. ”I'd already started to feel it. I knew it was coming back. But for that weekend, I had two best friends, and for a while, I got to forget.”

Adam and I both nod. We don't know- of course we don't know.

Not really. My throat stings. ”We're still best friends,” I say to Amy.

Adam puts an arm around me and then bends over so we're lean- ing toward Amy. ”Group hug!”

Amy laughs and we gently squeeze all together.

”I love you guys,” I whisper and vow in my head to make Adam chocolate chip cookies from scratch, to get Amy to five thousand followers on Twitter before I do, and to give myself a personality transplant for my dorky behavior.

”You're not going to try to make out with me too?” Amy jokes.

Adam makes kissing noises at her and we break apart. Then Adam makes another joke about picking up hitchhikers and I watch and smile, feeling like the Grinch as my heart grows to a bigger size. She doesn't want to talk about surgery or her health. She wants to be treated like a normal person.

Like me.

”So,” I say, ”I heard Jake came for a visit.” I smile at her.

Adam stands and stretches his arms in the air. ”Girl talk. Is this girl talk?” He walks over to the window, pretending to check out the fake plant, putting some s.p.a.ce between us, but I know he's still listening in.

A tiny smile curls up her lips. ”It was nice of him. My mom and dad like him. He's a nice boy. He's been by the house too.”

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sixteenthings.indd 246 9/9/13 2:21 PM.

1 6 t h i n g s i t h o u g h t w e r e t r u e ”You know his motives aren't entirely pure, right? You know he has a crush on you,” I tell her.

Jake is the only one at home who's talking to me. And he talks about Amy a lot.

She sticks out her tongue and wrinkles up her nose. ”Boys don't have crushes on me.”

”Uh. Apparently they do,” I say. Finally there's color in her cheeks.

She bats her eyelashes and picks at the comforter on her bed.

”Not when they know about the cancer,” she says softly.

I snort. ”Give yourself some credit. And Jake too. You're much more than a girl with cancer. He doesn't just want you for your giant b.o.o.bs. He has discerning taste, unlike his twin.”

She shakes her head and pick pick picks at the comforter without smiling. I glance over at Adam and he lifts his eyebrows. ”Jake's a good guy, Amy,” I say softly. ”And I'm only teasing about your giant b.o.o.bs.”

We both look down at her flat chest and start laughing at the same time. ”He wanted to ask you out.” My words come back to my ears. ”Wants to,” I say. ”He wants to ask you out.”

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