Part 23 (2/2)
”Why? Why wait? It's not like you'll sleep a wink until it's done.”
Amy grabs her car keys and throws them. My hand automatically shoots out to grab them. She throws her arms in the air when I catch them and jumps up and down like a cheerleader in the final play of the game. ”Go. Take my car!”
I flex and unflex my free hand, jiggling the keys up and down in the other. ”I can't.”
”Why not? It's not like you made an appointment to see him,”
Amy points out.
My heart pounds. I spin the key chain around and around on my finger.
”I think she's right,” Adam says from where he's leaning against the windowsill. ”The sooner you do it...the sooner it's done.”
”As painless as tattoo removal,” I mumble.
”It's not going to be any easier if you wait,” Amy says.
”But I don't want to strand you guys. You should, you know, go downtown, see some sights.” I glance at Adam. ”Call your girlfriend.”
”Forget my stupid girlfriend,” Adam says.
”Stupid girlfriend? Why is she stupid?” I welcome the opportu- nity to bounce to another topic.
”Seriously. Forget my girlfriend.” He moves his hand back and forth, close to his neck, in a slicing motion and then clears his throat. ”We can walk to lots of places from here.” He walks to Amy and drapes his arm across her shoulder, and she sags from the weight he puts into it. ”Right, Amy?”
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J a n e t G u r t l e r ”We could come with you if you want,” Amy says to me and scoots out from under him, punching him on the arm.
Adam rubs it. ”What is it with you women and your punching?”
”You just told me I looked ten. And now I'm a woman?” Amy asks.
I bat my eyelashes to keep in the tears stinging behind them, but this time it's happy tears for the two of them arguing and keeping things real.
”I think you should do it, Morgan,” Adam says, still ma.s.saging his arm. ”And we could come with you.”
”No!” My voice cracks and I clear my throat again. ”I need to do this alone.”
”You don't have to,” Amy says softly.
”Thanks. But I need to.” They've already seen enough of my humili- ation. This is the type of thing meant to be experienced solo. I lick my lips and taste the cherry wax and then squeeze the keys tight, and the teeth of the keys make an impression on my skin. ”I don't want to drive. I can't drive. I'll get in an accident. I'll be too distracted. I'm going to call a cab. That was my plan anyhow.” I lift my arm and throw the keys back to Amy, but she misses and they clatter on the ground.
”Are you worried because you're a bad driver?” Amy asks.
”I'm not a bad driver!” My temperature flashes up and then smol- ders down a second later, and I laugh. As usual, Amy has a knack for taking my mind out of the dark place.
”What? I'm not one of those people who would get all freaky about a scratch or something. It's just a car. A pretty little b.u.mble bee car. But still, just a car. The GPS is in the glove box. Go.” Amy bends down to pick up her keys and holds them up.
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1 6 t h i n g s i t h o u g h t w e r e t r u e I shake my head. ”No. I'll take a cab.”
Amy sniffles and then wipes underneath her eyes. ”But what if he's a total jerk?” she says and sniffles, walking over and trying to give me her keys.
”We can at least drive you. I don't think you should do it alone,”
Adam says softly. ”You don't have to.”
”What if he throws you out?” Amy wipes under her eyes some more.
”Why are you crying?” My heart melts but I put the keys back in her hands.
”I don't want you to get hurt.” She sniffles loudly. ”We should come.” She sits down on her bed and drops her head in her hands.
I slide onto the bed beside her. ”It's okay, Amy. I'm going to be okay. I planned to take a cab. I've prepared myself for the worst.”
Deep down, I know it's not something I can prepare for, but she doesn't need to know that.
She leans over and puts her head on my shoulder. ”But your dad aban- doned you when you were a baby. Face it, he's not a really cool guy.”
I gently push her head away but slide an arm over her shoulder.
”We should come,” Adam says. He walks over and sits on the other side of me. I'm sandwiched in the middle of them again.
”I have to do it alone,” I repeat. I swallow a few times. ”I'm scared,”
I tell them. ”I am. But it helps, knowing you guys are here.” I stop, tapping my finger up and down on my leg. Not so long ago, they were strangers. Now they know me better than anyone- even Lexi.
”No matter what...no matter what he says...” Adam shakes his head and jumps to his feet, smacking his head on the side of 153.
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J a n e t G u r t l e r the upper bunk with a loud thunk. ”Ow.” He rubs his head and scowls. ”I will kick his a.s.s if he hurts you.” And then he glances down with a half smile. ”Well, I'll risk getting my a.s.s kicked again anyhow.”
”I have my black belt in karate,” Amy says. She gets to her feet and does some fierce-looking roundhouse kick thing. Then she makes a loud sound and jumps, kicking her leg surprisingly high.
Adam and I stare at her, our mouths open. ”You have your black belt? For real?” I ask.
She shrugs and sits back down. ”It's not all about the black belt.
It's about the training. I trained hard. I focused. What?” she asks.
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