Part 5 (1/2)
”But ye nay drink down their souls.”
”Nay! We have ne'er been able to do such a thing.”
” 'Tis what those men thought ye would do, what they feared.”
Gillanders nearly cursed aloud. She had felt everything the dying men had. It was a miracle she was not yet mad, her mind broken. He reached out to soothe her with a touch but she cringed, and his heart broke all over again. Taking a deep breath to ease the grip of that pain on his throat he tried to think of what else he could tell her.
”We have more of us now who can abide some sun,” he finally said. ”The sunlight steals our life, draws it out slowly, weakening us so that we cannae even move to hide from the verra thing that is killing us. Purebloods cannae abide it at all. The stronger the MacNachton blood, the more dangerous it is to be out in the sunlight. I can abide all but the middle of the day when the sun is at its strongest.
”Finally there are the Lost Ones. These are the children, or descendants, of MacNachtons and Outsiders. I fear our ancestors, thinking they could nay breed a child, especially with one nay of our ilk, ne'er watched to see if any la.s.s they bedded bore them a child. The moment we discovered the first one, a search was begun for others. To our sorrow we ken weel that many have died over the years. The ones we have found have all had a hard life, were constantly threatened, and became skilled in hiding. That threat is even greater now, for we have an enemy who hunts us. Someone learned of us and has the coin and the power to send men hunting us down. They, too, seek our Lost Ones.”
”The Laird.”
”Aye, although we cannae be certain he is the only one.”
”And the child my cousin Adeline took in is one of you.”
”Osgar is Arailt's son, so, aye, he is one of ours. So is Adeline now, for she is Lachann's woman.” He stood up and held out his hand.
Murdina did not take it. She knew that hurt him, could feel the stab of that pain, but she could not touch him. Not yet. So much of what the men he had killed had felt was still crawling through her veins that she feared his touch would be all that was needed to push her that last step toward madness. With one hand on the trunk of the tree, she pushed herself to her feet.
”Adeline still waits at Cambrun, Murdina,” he said. ”I swear that ye will be in no danger there.”
”Then we had best resume our journey.”
”Aye, let us leave this place of death,” he murmured, and strode toward the horses.
Murdina slowly walked to her pony and mounted. She idly wondered if she was already mad, had broken beneath the onslaught of so many emotions. After watching Gillanders kill all those men, his eyes the yellow of a feral beast, his fangs stained with blood, it had to be madness that had her riding away with him. Despite all she was suffering, all she had seen him do, however, she could not see him as a threat to her life. She nudged her pony into motion and followed him away from the scene of battle, praying that she was not making the biggest, and perhaps the last, mistake of her life.
Gillanders watched Adeline escort her newfound cousin up the stairs to a room and sighed. The last of their journey had been trouble-free but a constant torment. She had spoken little and turned her back to him when they rested. All the warmth he had enjoyed in her smiles and her body was gone.
”She is the one, is she?” asked his father.
”Aye, but I fear she will ne'er come to me.” He told his father all that had happened as well as why it had affected Murdina far more than it would have anyone else.
”Wheesht, laddie, ye are fortunate she is still sane.”
”True. I but wish she would speak to me. Jesu, I but wish she would smile at me again. 'Tis as if she has gone all cold, pulling away from me even though she is right there before me.”
”Give her time, lad. Let her be soothed by the women and enjoy finding the last of her family for a wee while.”
”I will. It willnae be easy, but I will give her time.”
Jankyn was watching his son walk away when his wife walked up and slapped him on the back of the head. Laughing softly and rubbing the back of his head, he looked at her. ”What was that for?”
”Ye just sent him in the wrong direction. He should be wooing that la.s.s.”
As quickly as possible he told her all that had happened and why he had told his son to give Murdina some time to recover. ”The la.s.s is fortunately made of steel, for I can but wonder how she remained sane after that.”
”And thus will make a good mate for our son. But he shouldnae be leaving her alone too long. Once she calms from her ordeal, she will begin to wonder where he is and think too much on his absence from her side. I believe I shall fetch a soothing potion and take it to her for, if Gillanders stays away too long, someone will have to be able to convince her to go and hunt him down.”
Murdina sighed with pleasure as she drank the tankard of heavily spiced cider Gillanders's mother served her. Finding out this young, vibrant woman was his mother had been quite a shock, too. There were obviously a few things about the MacNachtons he had neglected to tell her. No one had suggested that Efrica was a second or even third wife, so her claim to be Gillanders's mother had to be the truth, yet Murdina found it so hard to believe she decided to just ignore the puzzle for now.
As the woman took the empty tankard away, Adeline gently pushed Murdina down onto her back on the bed and pulled the coverlet over her. ”Best if ye rest, cousin.” She laughed. ” 'Tis wondrous to say that. I thought myself utterly alone. Weel, until I found my son and then my husband. Ye have the look of my father, too, which warms my heart.”
”I, too, thought myself alone.” Murdina briefly clasped Adeline's hand, swallowing the urge to weep. ” 'Tis good to ken I have kin still.”
”And ye will have more once ye get o'er your journey and go fetch my son to your side,” said Efrica.
Murdina blushed. ”I am nay sure he will wish to be fetched, and I am nay one of his people. And he is a knight whilst I am but the only child of a blacksmith.”
”Neither are we of his ilk, and your birth is of no concern.” Efrica sat on the side of the bed. ”Nor are a few others like my sister, the laird's wife. My husband told me what ye suffered, how that gift ye havenae yet told us about made ye feel all that those men felt as they died. But, they meant to kill ye. Ne'er forget that. Aye, they might have captured my son and sent him to this laird we cannae seem to find, but he would have died, probably after many long months of torture. I dinnae think the killing is what troubles ye when ye look at him, either.”
”Nay, but in a way he lied to me. I looked at what he could do, how he changed into a mon I didnae ken as he fought, and felt the sting of that lie. I am also nay sure if I can be the woman he needs, if he even wishes to keep me.”
”Oh, he wishes to keep ye. I saw how he watched ye as ye walked away with Adeline. As for being what he needs? Of course ye are or he wouldnae be looking at ye that way. Now, my husband in all his idiot male wisdom has told Gillanders to give ye time. Take it, but if he keeps away once ye are over all ye suffered, hunt him down. If ye love my lad, Murdina Dunbar, then ye will find a way to be all that he needs.” Efrica stood up and brushed down her skirts. ”Rest. We can visit more later when ye wake and begin to recover your strength.”
After the woman was gone, Murdina looked at her cousin. ” 'Tis verra hard to believe that young, vibrant woman is Gillanders's mother.”
”Ah, weel,” Adeline took Efrica's place on the side of the bed, ”these people dinnae age as Outsiders do. There is a lot I need to tell ye about the MacNachtons, Cousin. But I will say this now, as I can see that your eyes grow heavy with sleep. They are good men. If Gillanders has decided ye are his mate, ye will ne'er find a better mon to love. He will protect ye and any child ye bear with his verra life, love ye until your eyes cross, and be a true soul mate, the other half of you that ye didnae e'en ken was missing.”
”That would be nice. Yet, he didnae tell me who he really was before he ...” She blushed as she realized what she was about to confess.
”Bedded ye?” Adeline laughed when Murdina blushed even more. ”They are a hot-blooded lot these MacNachton men. Dinnae look so shamed. Ye are in love. 'Tis the way of it.”
”But I was in love with the other Gillanders, the one he pretended to be.”
”Nonsense. Gillanders was Gillanders. All he hid was that which this clan has always hidden. And 'tis worth their verra life if anyone discovers what they are. Ye hid what ye are until the last moment, aye?”
”Weel, aye, but ye would think he would tell me ere he bedded me.”
”He is a mon. He wanted ye, and since ye may weel be his mate, that wanting must have been fierce.”
Thinking of how his desire felt when he touched her, Murdina had to agree. ”I dinnae ken what to think save that I think Efrica's potion is beginning to dull what few wits I still had.”
”Exactly what it was meant to do. Ye need to rest. Murdina, just what is this gift ye have?”
”I can feel what others feel. One reason I was so drawn to Gillanders is because all I could feel from him was calm. A wee hint of a shadow, but mostly a wonderful calm. Oh, and his desire. I kenned that was true, for I felt it each time it rose in him. When he killed those men,” she added in a shaky whisper, ”I felt all they did as they died.”
”Sweet Jesu. All of them?”
”Aye. All of them. They were afraid, in pain, and utterly horrified, for they believed he would drink down their souls. I cannae explain how it was when all of the emotion came to me, but I do think 'tis a near miracle that I am still sane.”
Adeline hugged her and then sat back while still clasping her hand. ”It is. I am curious now. What do ye feel from me?”
”Happiness. Calm. Sympathy.”