Part 43 (2/2)

'Bat. Rupert, Mr Wanamaker and I have discussed some interesting proposals.'

'Doubtless, Carlotta. But Mr Wanamaker is not the only suitor serenading this particular Juliet.'

'What's that? Other agents, Batty? Fish or fry?'

'What?'

'Hollywood agents or New York agents?'

'Federal ones, Mr Wanamaker. The Pentagon wants to know how our mutual friend managed to hack and broadcast encrypted, military frequencies. It took us weeks to convince them we weren't concealing Sword of Islam technology. We've still probably got microscopic spy devices combing our colons.'

'Oh, the Pentagon! You had me worried worried for a moment, Batty. for a moment, Batty. Au cointreau Au cointreau, this is excellent news. More publicity will get more b.u.t.ts on seats when the movie's launched.'

'The movie? Mr Wanamaker, you think the Pentagon is going to let you make a true-story movie about a hacker in their systems during world war three's dress rehearsal? You may not have noticed but this is Ronald McDonald's martial law we're living under.'

'Hollywood versus Was.h.i.+ngton! Fabulous concept, Batty. The info police and let's face it, since Brink Day its reputation is hardly what it was may have the power of the military on its side, but we, my friend, we have the indomitable power of Mr Average! The New York Tribune New York Tribune brought Zookeeper onto the stage. We wanna how can I say this as well as you could, Bat? Throw me a bone here. We wanna switch on the spotlights!' brought Zookeeper onto the stage. We wanna how can I say this as well as you could, Bat? Throw me a bone here. We wanna switch on the spotlights!'

'Mr Wanamaker, you want to plant your cameramen outside his door, riffle through his garbage, find out if he uses rubber sheets and baby oil, and hound him to a watery death in a sports car.'

'Batty! The public has a right to know!'

'Bat, Mr Wanamaker's been discussing a rolling referral fee based on acc.u.mulative royalties with Rupert. At our present rate of expenditure, we're talking sums that will keep Night Train FM afloat financially for a long time.'

'How long is long, Carlotta?'

'Eleven years and four months.'

'That's long. But we don't know who we're dealing with! n.o.body's ever seen him.'

'Or her.'

'Exactly! A crank, a hacker, a bomber. Don't overlook the obvious, Carlotta. Remember three years ago something was blown up at Saragosa, and a real Dwight Silverwind did vanish over Bermuda one year later.'

'I know he did, Batty. So tragic. His agent, Jerry Kushner, is a very dear friend of mine. I was beside myself with worry. Jerry was inconsolable for two and a half days.'

'Have you considered, Mr Wanamaker, that Zookeeper is not just monitoring these events?'

'Universal Studios ooooooze for talent like yours! You're suggesting that Zooey is causing these incidents?'

'If he's a hacker, he's got an uncanny knack for vidsurfing the right places at the right times. You could be roping a terrorist into your client base.'

'He wouldn't be the first, Batty! The mere rumour of his presence has upped Night Train FM ratings by 320 per cent according to the online web audit. That's over thirty thousand New Yorkers, competing with the TV Nets, all-night rock concerts and Peace Vigils on Brink Night's first birthday! We sign a contract with Zooey, he's gonna be be my client base!' my client base!'

'He's not going to bite.'

'Come now, Batty. Everybody bites. You just gotta know what bait to dangle.'

'Back On in ten seconds, Bat. All that Rupert is asking is that you try to keep him on hold during an interval and conference him to Mr Wanamaker. Simple as that.'

'Why not ask him yourself, Carlotta?'

'He seems to have an affinity with you.'

'But Carlotta!'

'Five seconds, honeybunch: 4, 3, 2, 1-'

'Welcome back aboard Night Train FM, 97.8 'til late, thundering through this Brink Night's first birthday of champagne, cathedral bells and gunpowder. I am your host, Bat Segundo. Coming up we have the music of the spheres, brought to you by John Lee Hooker: ”I Cover the Waterfront”. But bate your breath once more, New York. We have a caller on the line. Could it be, could it be?'

'h.e.l.lo, Bat.'

'Hi, honey, I'm home! New York's been waiting all night, Zookeeper.'

'Thank you, Bat.'

'And where are you calling from this year?'

'A low-alt.i.tude MedSat over the Central African Republic flatlands.'

'Uh-huh. Gorilla hunting? Collecting zoo specimens?'

'I'm monitoring the spread of Stryptobaccus Anthrax J, K and L.'

'That must be a conversation-stopper at dinner parties. But hey! You remembered our anniversary! One up on my ex-wife. She still sends me ”Happy Divorce” cards every year, though. And what kind of a year has it been for you?'

'I had to duplicate myself and spend it in several places at once.'

'I know the feeling, I know the feeling.'

'I've only just re-integrated.'

'I know the feeling.'

'The third and fourth laws are in chaos, Bat. I'm sorry.'

'I'm sure you're not to blame. Say, you catch our last caller? He had a message for you.'

'I hear all who call.'

'Not just on November 30th?'

'I need windows to oversee my zoo.'

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