Part 15 (1/2)
”Let me give it a shot,” Plasma Girl said. But the best she could do was transform herself into a mildly jiggling gelatin.
”And I can only thtreth my tongue about thikth inthes,” Tadpole confirmed as he stuck his tongue out about six inches.
”How about you, Hal?” I stretched to turn my head slightly to my right where he was strapped next to me.
In reply he began to glow fairly brightly. ”I'm sorry, O Boy. This is the best I can do without being able to get to my apple juice.”
It was more intense than the lighting in the laboratory but not bright enough to really do us any good. So how was I going to get us out of this mess? Of course I felt responsible. After all, I was the one who convinced my friends to come here. So it was up to me to come up with a plan to save them. Unfortunately, I was only beginning to get a germ of an idea when Professor Brain-Drain returned with his guest. I couldn't believe who it was.
”What's he doing here?” I hollered with undisguised hostility.
”That's right,” said the Professor, ”you already know the Tyc.o.o.n, don't you?”
Sure enough, the president of Indestructo Industries was standing right here in the secret hideout of the Amazing Indestructo's most deadly foe.
”Hey, kids! Good to see you again.” He waved, oblivious, or indifferent, to the fact that we were strapped down like prisoners. ”Did my clue help you track down one of the three cards?”
”Yes,” I replied. ”It's one of the reasons we're trapped here now.”
”That's too bad,” he lied. ”But I've got to thank you for getting the word out and letting your friends see the actual card. I hear from stores all over Superopolis that the card packs have been flying off the shelves since yesterday afternoon. And that's not all-”
[image]
PROFESSOR BRAIN-DRAIN.
SHOWER CAPS.
This shoddy item marked a low point in the history of Indestructo Industries. The first flammable version caught on like wildfire, but not in a good way. Following the recall, a second flameproof version was produced with even poorer results. The fact that most people do not have steel colanders on their heads that need protection while showering could perhaps explain this lack of demand. There was also the problem of putting something on your head which has the Brain-Drain name on it. In fact, those few consumers who actually bought one definitely felt dumber having done so.
”You creep,” I interrupted him. ”I'll never buy anything made by Indestructo Industries ever again.”
I knew it sounded feeble the second I said it, but I didn't know what else to say.
”You won't have the chance, son,” the Professor replied. ”Your brain will soon be drained. Although, in fact, that would would make you an ideal consumer,” he added. ”Anyway, what were you about to say, Tyc.o.o.n?” make you an ideal consumer,” he added. ”Anyway, what were you about to say, Tyc.o.o.n?”
”I was going to mention,” he continued, ”that the few Professor Brain-Drain products we've created over the years have also completely sold out. There wasn't much to begin with, I admit, but it's all gone. We even finally got rid of those Professor Brain-Drain shower caps that we put out over four years ago.”
”I use mine daily,” the Professor responded indignantly. ”And I've always argued that you don't produce nearly enough products bearing my image.”
”That's why I'm here,” said the Tyc.o.o.n.
”Go on,” said the Professor, clearly interested. He guided the Tyc.o.o.n over to the table at which he had so recently hosted us. ”I'm curious to hear what you're thinking. If I like it, you just might be able to go on thinking.”
That made the Tyc.o.o.n do a double take! I know it was kind of a mean thought, but the Tyc.o.o.n drained of his intelligence might not be such a bad thing. It probably wouldn't change his power, though, and he'd still be able to make money even as a Dumbot.
”Kids have gone crazy for Professor Brain-Drain,” he revealed. ”They can't get enough of you! So I'm here to propose the creation of a whole new line of Professor Brain-Drain merchandise.”
Clearly, the Tyc.o.o.n was unaware that Professor Brain-Drain's popularity with kids was plummeting as fast as the price of his collector card. Since it had only just happened in the last few hours, there was no way the Tyc.o.o.n could know-yet! Well, I wasn't going to be the one to tell him.
”Just let me show you the plans we've made,” he continued, removing some large, folded sheets of paper from his briefcase. ”Here, for example, is the Professor Brain-Drain Lair of Evil play set.”
”It looks like an underground cavern,” commented the Professor.
”No kid wants a play set that looks like a floor in an office high-rise,” the Tyc.o.o.n informed him.
”I see,” said the Professor. ”And what is this?”
”These are sketches of the Brain-Drain Power Bike. It can go up to seventy-five miles an hour.”
”But I travel by blimp,” he informed the Tyc.o.o.n.
”Blimps aren't big with kids. Work with me.”
”What is this ropelike item?” asked the Professor. ”Is it a noose?”
”Even better! You'll love this!” gushed the Tyc.o.o.n. ”It's the Brain-Drain Bungee Cord. Kids hook them on their ears and then wrap them around their heads to hold their brains in-like this!”
[image]
”I believe their skulls perform that function,” replied Professor Brain-Drain. ”What about my own line of Bunsen burners? Children still love Bunsen burners, don't they?”
”I'll check with my market research department.” The Tyc.o.o.n sighed in exasperation. ”In the meantime, all I need is your signature on these contracts to get started.”
”Ah yes, the contracts.” The Professor's eyes seemed to zero in like arrows on the oily businessman. ”That reminds me. This seems like the perfect time to renegotiate our earlier licensing arrangement. The one that ends in just a few short weeks.”
”What are you referring to?” asked the Tyc.o.o.n, who I'm sure knew exactly what the Professor was referring to.
”The licensing arrangement that I signed ten years ago that allows you to use my image in all your Amazing Indestructo TV shows, comic books, and other paraphernalia. The vast sums of money that the Amazing Indestructo has earned during this period have not gone unnoticed by me-especially as my own, once significant royalty checks have dwindled to practically nothing in recent months.”
”It was a fair deal,” protested the Tyc.o.o.n, beginning to sweat even more. ”And we still pay you what your contract requires. If your royalties are shrinking, it's only because your likeness is being used less. But that's not my fault. In fact, I'm here right now to try and do more with you, not less.”
Professor Brain-Drain didn't say a word. His gla.s.ses stayed focused on the business executive.
”B-B-but if you are unhappy about it,” the Tyc.o.o.n stuttered nervously, ”the person to complain to is AI himself. Nothing is done without his approval.”
My eyes went wide with shock. What the Tyc.o.o.n said couldn't be true. The Amazing Indestructo would never have made a deal with his deadliest enemy.
”You're lying!!” I yelled. ”The Amazing Indestructo would never agree to that!”
It would have been better if they had said something. Instead they just looked at me and began chuckling. Now, more than ever, I knew we had to escape-if for no other reason than to warn AI about what was happening behind his back. An idea finally came together in my mind. But before I could put it into action, there was a loud roar, and suddenly something came cras.h.i.+ng through one of the walls.
Smoke and dust billowed everywhere throughout Brain-Drain's laboratory, and both the Professor and the Tyc.o.o.n rose from their seats in surprise. As the dust cleared, we all realized who had burst in.