Part 7 (1/2)
”That reeks,” Stench mumbled to himself as he dropped his ants into a box alongside the anthill. It spit [image]
out three tickets in exchange. ”At this rate it will take forever to get the four hundred and sixty-eight tickets we need.” Not to mention cost a fortune in the process, I thought.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN.
Winner Takes None
It was a frustrated and irritated Stench who made his way back to where Tadpole and I were playing Bonk the Squirrels.
”Did you see how I got robbed?” he asked me. ”I only managed to get three tickets off the Anthill of Terror.”
”That stinks,” Tadpole said. Cautiously, he sniffed the air to make sure nothing else stank. Then, winding up his arm, he pitched the large plastic acorn in his fist at a small circular opening. Inside was a flat metal plate that was painted to look like a taunting squirrel. The acorn hit the squirrel smack in the chest, knocking it flat on its back, and five tickets were spit out of a slot right next to where Tadpole was standing.
”Excellent,” Stench said as the flattened squirrel sprang back up. ”How many tickets do you have so far?”
”Only ten,” Tadpole answered sadly. ”That was my first five-pointer. The others have all been for only one or two tickets. O Boy's doing better.”
He was right but only by a little. I had twelve tickets so far. Bonk the Squirrels was usually my best game, but not today. The game consists of a large wall with a tree painted on it and lots of openings cut into the bushy part. Within each circle is a squirrel. Some of the circles are large, making the squirrels easy to hit. The only problem is you don't get many tickets for hitting those. The circles get smaller as you go higher up the tree. They're harder to hit, but you can get a lot more points. Of course, up at the top is the smallest circle of all. It's worth five hundred tickets. n.o.body's ever managed to knock over that squirrel, though.
”I can usually do better,” I explained as I put in a quarter and got three more plastic acorns to throw, ”but they don't seem to be falling over as easily as they used to.”
”Fly Guy probably tightened the springs,” Stench suggested, ”just like he removed half the ball bearings in the Anthill of Terror.”
I pitched an acorn straight at a squirrel that was worth ten points. It came incredibly close but caught [image]
the edge of the opening and ricocheted off to the side.
”We're never going to get what we need at this rate,” I said in frustration, ”unless one of us can hit the five-hundred pointer.”
”Give it a shot.” Tadpole shrugged. ”You might actually get it.”
What the heck, I decided. I concentrated as hard as I could and wound up my pitch. With my eye glued to the spot, I threw the acorn, and it went sailing up toward its mark. To the complete surprise of all of us, it slipped perfectly through the tiny opening and hit the squirrel head-on.
”You hit it!” Tadpole and Stench both said in amazement.
But the squirrel didn't fall backward. As the acorn dropped away, the squirrel remained standing, its big buck teeth sticking out from its mocking grin.
”You totally had it, O Boy!” Tadpole complained. ”What a rip-off.”
”I'm beginning to think this whole place is a rip-off,” Stench added, glancing accusingly over toward Fly Guy. He had his eyes all over us and a smirk on his face.
”You know what?” Tadpole whispered to us. ”If there was a way to get all those eyes off us, I bet I could find out what's up with that squirrel.”
”Good idea,” I agreed. ”Let's get Plasma Girl and Hal. I may have a plan.”
Plasma Girl was playing a round of Earthquake in Doll Land, but her character, Princess Patty-Cake, had just fallen into a crevice.
”I only managed to save two of the princess's unicorns before the royal stables collapsed,” she said glumly, showing me the two tickets she had won.
”Don't worry about that for now,” I said. ”We're changing strategies. Let's get Hal.”
We expected to find Hal at his favorite game, Toss the Cookies, but instead he'd found a new game we hadn't seen before at Aunty Penny's Arcade. It was called the Amazing Indestructo Retirement Fund Game and it had lights and buzzers all over it. The only instructions were on a sign that read: HELP THE AMAZING INDESTRUCTO FEND OFF AN INSOLVENT FUTURE! (Insert 25 cents). As we approached, Hal put in a quarter. All the lights and buzzers began to sound, but that was it. There were no controls and no way that I could see to win any tickets. It didn't take Hal long to confirm this.
”That's the sixth quarter I've put in this thing and I still haven't won any tickets,” he said glumly.
I probably would have stopped after the second quarter, but I didn't say that to Hal. I looked down at the manufacturing plaque on the base of the machine and wasn't the least bit surprised to see that it was made by Indestructo Industries. As soon as our current mission was resolved, I was determined to let AI know what the Tyc.o.o.n was doing to his good name.
”Don't worry about that now,” I consoled Hal. ”I've got a new plan. We need to create a diversion that will distract all the dozens of facets of Fly Guy's eyes. Stench, I want you to go over to the other side of the arcade and pretend to lose a quarter underneath the Hill o' Beans. Then start complaining as loudly as you can. When Fly Guy comes over to help Stench, that will be your sign, Hal.”
”Sure, O Boy. Just tell me what to do.”
”Run over and offer to provide some light. When you get there, illuminate yourself as brightly as possible. That will momentarily blind Fly Guy in all his eyes. Meanwhile, I'll let Tadpole know when it's safe for him to do his thing.”
”What a great plan,” Hal said as he brought his sippy cup to his lips and took a big gulp of apple juice. Then he and Stench moved off to take their positions.
When they were out of earshot, Plasma Girl turned to me.
”Is my job the usual one?” she asked, c.o.c.king an eyebrow.
”You got it,” I replied. ”Be ready to act as soon as Hal messes up his part of the plan.”
”Roger.” She saluted me and then turned to follow the other two.
Two minutes later, I heard Stench bellowing from across the arcade that he had lost his quarter. That was the only part of the plan that worked the way it was supposed to. Fly Guy immediately messed up everything by refusing to budge from his chair.
”Too bad, kid,” I heard him say. ”But thanks for the donation.”
Unfortunately, Hal never thought to change his part of the plan and was soon running toward the Hill o' Beans. Thank goodness for Plasma Girl. She had turned herself into a pool of jelly on the floor right in Hal's path. Sure enough, he slipped on her and went sliding smack into the stack of bean cans that make up the Hill o' Beans. As they came cras.h.i.+ng down around both him and Stench, it finally got Fly Guy to move.
”No powerzzz!” he buzzed angrily as he got up from his chair and ran toward the mess of bean cans.
Of course, he didn't notice Plasma Girl, either, so he, too, was soon sliding into the heap on the floor. Plasma Girl quickly returned to her normal shape.
”Hal,” she shouted. ”Lighten up.”
Halogen Boy did as he was told, and soon the arcade was flooded with an intense light.
”Well, it wasn't exactly my plan,” I said to Tadpole, ”but it'll do. Go ahead.”