Part 29 (1/2)
”But before that. How did you make his acquaintance?”
”Through a matrimonial agency,” said she.
”Oh!” observed Crepitude, and decided that he would not pursue that avenue. The fact was Alice had put him into the wrong humour for making the best of her. She was, moreover, in a very difficult position, for Priam had positively forbidden her to have any speech with solicitors'
clerks or with solicitors, and thus Crepitude knew not what pitfalls for him her evidence might contain. He drew from her an expression of opinion that her husband was the real Priam Farll, but she could give no reasons in support--did not seem to conceive that reasons in support were necessary.
”Has your husband any moles?” asked Crepitude suddenly.
”Any what?” demanded Alice, leaning forward.
Vodrey, K.C., sprang up.
”I submit to your lords.h.i.+p that my learned friend is putting a leading question,” said Vodrey, K.C.
”Mr. Crepitude,” said the judge, ”can you not phrase your questions differently?”
”Has your husband any birthmarks--er--on his body?” Crepitude tried again.
”Oh! _Moles_, you said? You needn't be afraid. Yes, he's got two moles, close together on his neck, here.” And she pointed amid silence to the exact spot. Then, noticing the silence, she added, ”That's all that I _know_ of.”
Crepitude resolved to end his examination upon this impressive note, and he sat down. And Alice had Vodrey, K.C., to face.
”You met your husband through a matrimonial agency?” he asked.
”Yes.”
”Who first had recourse to the agency?”
”I did.”
”And what was your object?”
”I wanted to find a husband, of course,” she smiled. ”What _do_ people go to matrimonial agencies for?”
”You aren't here to put questions to me,” said Vodrey severely.
”Well,” she said, ”I should have thought you would have known what people went to matrimonial agencies for. Still, you live and learn.” She sighed cheerfully.
”Do you think a matrimonial agency is quite the nicest way of----”
”It depends what you mean by 'nice,'” said Alice.
”Womanly.”
”Yes,” said Alice shortly, ”I do. If you're going to stand there and tell me I'm unwomanly, all I have to say is that you're unmanly.”
”You say you first met your husband outside St George's Hall?”
”Yes.”