Part 6 (1/2)

”Well, now,” continued Father Philemy, ”who are the lawful pastors of G.o.d's church?”

”You are, sir: and all our own priests.”

”And who ought you to pay your t.i.thes to?”

”To you, sir, in coorse; sure I always knew that, your Rev'rence.”

”And what's the reason, then, you don't pay them to me, instead of the parson?”

This was a puzzler to Kelly, who only knew his own side of the question.

”You have me there, sir,” he replied, with a grin.

”Because,” said his Reverence, ”the Protestants, for the present, have, the law of the land on their side, and power over you to compel the payment of t.i.thes to themselves; but we have right, justice, and the law of G.o.d on ours; and, if every thing was in its proper place, it is not to the parsons, but to us, that you would pay them.”

”Well, well, sir,” replied Kelly, who now experienced a community of feeling upon the subject with his Reverence, that instantly threw him into a familiarity of manner which he thought the point between them justified--”who knows, sir?” said he with a knowing smile, ”there's a good time coming, yer Rev'rence.”

”Ay,” said Father Philemy, ”wait till we get once into the Big* House, and if we don't turn the scales--if the Established Church doesn't go down, why, it won't be our fault. Now, Kelly, all's right but the money--have you brought your dues?”

* Parliament. This was written before the pa.s.sing of the Emanc.i.p.ation Bill.

”Here it is, sir,” said Kelly, handing him his dues for the last year.

It is to be observed here, that, according as the penitents went to be examined, or to kneel down to confess, a certain sum was exacted from each, which varied according to the arrears that might have been due to the priest. Indeed, it is not unusual for the host and hostess, on these occasions, to be refused a partic.i.p.ation in the sacrament, until they pay this money, notwithstanding the considerable expense they are put to in entertaining not only the clergy, but a certain number of their own friends and relations.

”Well, stand aside, I'll hear you first; and now, come up here, you young gentleman, that laughed so heartily a while ago at my joke--ha, ha, ha!--come up here, child.”

A lad now approached him, whose face, on a first view, had something simple and thoughtless in it, but in which, on a closer inspection, might be traced a lurking, sarcastic humor, of which his Reverence never dreamt.

”You're for confession, of course?” said the priest.

”_Of coorse_,” said the lad, echoing him, and laying a stress upon the word, which did not much elevate the meaning of the compliance in general with the rite in question.

”Oh!” exclaimed the priest, recognizing him when he approached--”you are Dan f.a.gan's son, and designed for the church yourself; you are a good Latinist, for I remember examining you in Erasmus about two years ago--_Quomodo sehabet corpus tuum, charum lignum sacredotis_”

”_Valde, Domine_,” replied the lad, ”_Quomodo se habet anima tua, charum exemplar sacerdotage, et fulcrum robustissium Ecclesiae sacrosancte_?”

”Very good, Harry,” replied his Reverence, laughing--”stand aside; I'll hear you after Kelly.”

He then called up a man with a long melancholy face, which he noticed before to have been proof against his joke, and after making two or three additional and fruitless experiments upon his gravity, he commenced a cross fire of peevish interrogatories, which would have excluded him from the ”tribunal” on that occasion, were it not that the man was remarkably well prepared, and answered the priest's questions very pertinently.

This over, he repaired to his room, where the work of absolution commenced; and, as there was a considerable number to be rendered sinless before the hour of dinner, he contrived to unsin them with an alacrity that was really surprising.

Immediately after the conversation already detailed between his Reverence and Phaddhy, the latter sought Katty, that he might communicate to her the unlucky oversight which they had committed, in neglecting to provide fresh meat and wine. ”We'll be disgraced forever,”

said Phaddhy, ”without either a bit of mutton or a bottle of wine for the gintlemen, and that big thief Parrah More Slevin had both.”

”And I hope,” replied Katty, ”that you're not so mane as to let any of that faction outdo you in dacency, the nagerly set? It was enough for them to bate us in the law-shoot about the horse, and not to have the laugh agin at us about this.”

”Well, that same law-shoot is not over with them yet,” said Phaddhy; ”wait till the spring fair comes, and if I don't have a faction gathered that'll sweep them out of the town, why my name's not Phaddhy! But where is Matt till we sind him off?”

”Arrah, Phaddhy,” said Katty, ”wasn't it friendly of Father Philemy to give us the hard word about the wine and mutton?”