Part 9 (1/2)

”Sure, why not? You'd mentioned how you'd never been on a boat before. Here's your chance. It belongs to a good friend of mine, and he was more than happy to lend it to us for the day. And it's perfect weather for a sail...come on, let's go.” He reaches for me.

”It's not really a sail boat, though, as there are no actual sails anywhere,” I tease him.

He chuckles and grasps my arm. ”This is very true. We're just gonna hafta settle for an engine. Come aboard, matey.” He flashes another wide grin and helps me over the rail. The murky water sloshes beneath us, covered with moss and debris.

I look around in awe. ”You really know how to drive this thing?” It must be at least thirty feet long. Low white benches covered with soft blue pillows line the bow area, and the captain's chair sits on a raised bench behind a little cabin in the middle of the boat.

Tristan shrugs nonchalantly. ”Nah, but I figure it can't be too hard. As long as I don't crash us into some rocks or something I think we'll be fine. You know how to swim, right?”

I whap him on the b.u.t.t, and he laughs. ”Okay, just teasing. I promise you, I'm an excellent captain. Been on boats most of my life and was sailing forty-footers before I even had my driver's license. It's a snap. Now, first things first,” he says, sounding like an airline attendant. ”Life jackets are right there-” He points to a hook holding two bright orange vests. ”-and there's two more next to the bench on the bow. Bathroom is down below deck if nature calls, along with a small kitchenette-but I don't think anything's in it but Diet c.o.ke and some Fig Newtons. Now, take a seat over there and make yourself comfortable while I back 'er outta the slip.”

I plant one more quick kiss on his lips before heading to the front of the boat. The engine is so quiet I don't even realize it's on until we start moving backward. ”Gotta go slow in here, but once we leave the bay and hit open water we can let 'er rip,” Tristan calls down from his position in the captain's seat.

It's a calm day and the ocean is clear. Tristan expertly moves the boat through the water like it's cutting through gla.s.s. We pick up speed, and my hair starts whipping in my eyes. Without hesitation, I twist it in a knot at the base of my neck, stealing a glance at Tristan as he scans the horizon from his perch. Our eyes connect and he gives me a secret smile.

Stretching out my legs on the cus.h.i.+oned bench, I inhale the fresh salty air and admire the tranquility of the calm water. How have I managed to go through my whole life without experiencing something so delightful and exhilarating?

The further we get from land, the freer I feel. Soon, the sh.o.r.eline is completely out of sight, and there's nothing but open sea. I lean back on my arms and tilt my face to catch the warm rays of the sun, completely at peace as we fly over the ocean. I haven't felt this good in a really long time. Since Kieron left.

As much as I try not to think about him, the hurt won't leave. There's too much unfinished business between us. It would've been easier if we'd had some horrible fight, or I had any sort of closure whatsoever. But the last thing he said to me, the very last thing he whispered in my ear was, ”I love you”.

And I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, he did love me. I felt it, down to my soul. Hearing those words as Kieron had leaned in to kiss me outside the cave lit me up in a way I never thought possible. I'd always figured I'd never find someone who loved me for what I really was. But the emotion behind his words was so powerful, so consuming. It was natural...and right.

In that moment, I'd discovered something about myself. I knew that if it ever came down to it, I would sacrifice myself to save him. If there was ever a choice between his life and mine-for whatever crazy reason-I would die for him. No doubt about it. It wouldn't even be a choice, really. I'd rather die than live without him. Having felt what it was like to be held by the one I love more than anything in the world, I knew I couldn't survive without him. I wouldn't want to survive.

I'm still not sure how Tristan managed to sneak into my broken heart. It's impossible for him to take Kieron's place-no one can ever do that. But it's almost as if he's carved out his own special spot next to all the emptiness and ugliness, and filled it with something nice and comforting. When I see him, I immediately feel at ease. It's different from the way Kieron made me feel. With Kieron, it was as if every part of me was alive and on fire all the time. With Tristan, I just feel...nothing. Tristan is my morphine.

Coming out of my reverie, I notice we're no longer cutting through the gla.s.sy water but idling gently, surrounded by miles and miles of clear blue ocean. A brief chill sweeps over me as Tristan sidles up from behind and wraps his arms around my chest, burying his face in my neck. I snuggle into him, the initial chill replaced with a familiar warmth. His body and breath soothe me, and he laces his fingers through mine.

”How're you feeling?” he whispers in my ear.

”Wonderful,” I sigh. ”This is so nice. I wish we could stay out here forever and never go back.”

”You don't mean that,” he says, undoing my bun and stroking my hair.

I sigh again and watch a seagull circle above the boat. ”Why'd we stop?” I ask, angling my face back to his.

”Just wanted to rest for a few. We're about thirty miles out. I wanted to hold you for a while if that's all right.” He gives me a soft kiss on my temple.

”It's more than all right,” I whisper, pulling his arms around me tighter. My gaze falls to the flash of orange on the deck.

The only life jacket I need is right here, I think to myself. All of a sudden I realize the only thing stopping me from jumping over the side of this boat and into the eternal abyss is Tristan, his arms snugly wrapped around me.

Tears spring to my eyes, and to my mortal shame I start weeping like a baby. I try to pull away, but Tristan holds me back.

”It's okay, Liora.” His voice is as soft as his fingertips on my cheek.

”I-I-d-don't know what's wrong with me,” I choke through my sobs.

He runs his fingers through my hair and rubs my shoulder. ”I think you've been holding a lot of stuff in. Stuff that makes you feel like c.r.a.p. It's okay to let it out. You gotta let it go. Then you can start to heal and move on.”

”B-b-but I don't want to,” I whimper. I don't want to move on. I don't want to be okay with Kieron being gone. I don't want to let him go.

Ever.

Tristan stands to stretch his long legs, and I make my way to the rail. The water gently laps around the sides of the rocking boat. In the distance, I see something skim along the water, then a burst of shooting spray. ”Tristan, look!” I point at the large, black ma.s.s rising to the ocean's surface.

He smiles and wanders over to me, slipping his arm around my waist. ”Wow, I think that's a North Atlantic Right Whale. They're really rare...endangered actually. But some migrate through here this time of year on their way to Georgia and Florida to calve.”

”It's so magnificent,” I whisper, awed at the sheer size and grace of the majestic creature as it steals a peek at the sky. The whale slips back under the water, and I turn to Tristan with a contented smile.

”Feeling better?” he asks.

I nod.

He gives me a quick kiss. ”Okay, I'm gonna start 'er up now. We're about thirty miles from our destination.”

”Wait, you mean we're actually going somewhere?” I motion to the vast expanse of open sea. ”I thought this was our destination.”

He chuckles and leaps up the stairs to the captain's chair. ”Nope. I have a surprise for you.”

”Okay, whatever you say.” I nestle back in my seat on the padded bench. Tristan revs the engine, and soon we're flying over the water again.

I'm curious about Tristan's 'surprise', but the ride is so thoroughly enjoyable, I'm a little disappointed when, in the distance, I see peaks of land, a few piers, and an old-fas.h.i.+oned lighthouse.

”Where are we?” I call up to Tristan.

”The outer banks of North Carolina. We're heading into Avalon Wharf.”

Crazy. I've lived in Virginia my whole life, but never been outside of it. Even though North Carolina is close, I've never had any reason to go there.

Tristan slows the boat and expertly docks it in an empty slip. He takes my hand as we disembark onto old, wooden planks.

I glance around, curious and excited. ”'Kay, we're here. Now what?” My stomach rumbles, and I'm hoping he suggests grabbing a bite to eat.

”We're meeting some people.”

”Really? Who?”

”Just some friends,” he says vaguely and glances around. The wharf is nearly empty except for a few fishermen and some tourists.

”Oh. Where're we meeting them?” I ask, peering up at his strong profile.

”Here.” He checks his watch, reaches into his jacket pocket, and pulls out a silver cell phone ”And where exactly is here?”