Part 56 (1/2)

Her tone warned him. He sat on a straw chair. ”What is it?”

She said, ”I'm pregnant.”

He blinked, and looked to see.

”It won't show for a while yet.”

”Is it mine?” he said, incredulous. ”Half,” she said, smiling, head tilted to one side. He remembered the evening they met. She had worn a red s.h.i.+rt, and black silk pants.... She was wearing them now. It had to be coincidence.

”And you want me to _leave_ Chabad?” he said.

She frowned. ”I didn't want to tell you. I would have, after the baby was born. I would have written to you, 'grammed a message care of your family, to Pellin. I -- it's complicated, Dana. I was going to marry Ferris Dur. But I didn't want to go to bed with him, and you were here, and I liked you -- ”

”How can you have a child and not tell the father?” he said.

She stared at him, her amber eyes unashamed. ”I told you,” she said, ”that's Yago custom.”

He stood, because he couldn't sit any longer. ”Yago custom,” he repeated ”And I suppose you plan to shut the kid up on the estate, with just slaves and her mother and her d.a.m.ned crazy uncle for company. She'll never see a stars.h.i.+p, or a mountain, except those icebergs, she'll never see a horse or a dog or even a tree in its natural habitat, she'll grow up thinking slavery is humane and dorazine is a wonderful drug and hating her mother the way you and Zed both hate your mother -- ” He drew a breath and found that he had run out of words.

Rhani's face was very white. Her hands were clasped in her lap, the knuckles icy. He wondered if she wanted to hit him.

She said, very calmly, ”What would you want me to do, then? Would you stay?”

”Stay -- ” He hadn't thought of it. No, he could not stay on Chabad. Nor would she leave, of course. His anger drained from him. He sat again, not too close to her. He wondered what the child would look like, would it -- she -- he -- whatever -- have black eyes or amber eyes? Red hair or dark hair? ”No, I couldn't stay.” He bit his lip. ”Rhani, I'm sorry.”

”No,” she said, ”You're right. It isn't fair to you.”

”Nor to the child,” he said.

She rose. ”You wouldn't consider coming back, I suppose,” she said.

”Coming back?”

”Yes.” She walked to the headboard of the bed. It had shelves in it. She took something from one of the shelves. It was an auditor. She turned it on, and music filled the sunlit bedroom, well-remembered music; Stratta, Dana thought.

”Concerto in D, for Ella -- ” She snapped the pellet from the auditor and tossed it into his lap. ”There are two more downstairs,” she said. ”I found them into the com-net's music library.” She leaned over him, hands on his shoulders. He felt their grip through the supple cloth. ”Come back.” Her fingers tightened. ”I don't want my child to grow up hating me, Dana. She -- or he -- is not going to grow up alone on the estate with only slaves and her mother and crazy uncle for company. We'll live in the city. I'll bring her to the Landingport, and even to the moon. I'll show her holos of other worlds. I'll let her read Nakamura's _History_, and then, when she's fourteen Standard, I'll give her the choice I was never given: to leave Chabad, to leave me, and Family Yago.”

”You'd do that?” Dana said. She nodded. ”I don't believe you.”

”Come and see,” she challenged. ”Come back to Chabad! Take her to Pellin with you. Let her meet your family, join your wagon journey to the mountains, eat goats and ride horses and live however people live on other worlds.”

Dana thought: I never want to see this world again.... He laid his hands over hers. Stratta's melody mocked him in lifting tones. Well, Starcaptain, it said, so much for fine words and rages. What will you do?

”All right,” he said. ”I'll come back.”

They stood on the shuttles.h.i.+p platform of the Abanat Landingport.

Chabad's sky burned about them, a harsh, stark blaze of blue. Porters with the ”Y” insignia on their s.h.i.+rtsleeves jostled each other, jockeying around them.

The air smelled of sweat and heated metal. Dana's medallion gleamed gold against his cream-colored suit. He touched it; he had thought it lost in the debris of Michel A-Rae's house. Rhani smiled at the gesture. She was wearing blue-and-silver, Yago colors. She slipped her arm through his. ”Are you so glad to be leaving, Starcaptain?”

”Yes, Domna, I am,” he said. ”After all, I've wanted to leave since I got here.”

”Will you go home, to Pellin?”

He shrugged. ”I don't know. Maybe I'll go to Nexus.”

”So that you can meet Tori Lamonica, and run more drugs?” she teased.