Part 7 (1/2)
_The Rev. Dr. Opimian._ A good idea. That may be something to his mind.
_Miss Gryll._ Talking of comedy, doctor, what has become of Lord Curryfin, and his lecture on fish.
_The Rev. Dr. Opimian._ Why, Lord Michin Malicho,{1} Lord Facing-both-ways, and two or three other arch-quacks, have taken to merry-andrewising in a new arena, which they call the Science of Pantopragmatics, and they have bitten Lord Curryfin into tumbling with them; but the mania will subside when the weather grows cool; and no doubt we shall still have him at Thornback Bay, teaching the fishermen how to know a herring from a halibut.
1 'Marry, this is _miching mallecho_: it means mischief.'
--Hamlet.
_Miss Gryll._ But pray, doctor, what is this new science?
_The Rev. Dr. Opimian._ Why that, Miss Gryll, I cannot well make out.
I have asked several professors of the science, and have got nothing in return but some fine varieties of rigmarole, of which I can make neither head nor tail. It seems to be a real art of talking about an imaginary art of teaching every man his own business. Nothing practical comes of it, and, indeed, so much the better. It will be at least harmless, as long as it is like Hamlet's reading, 'words., words, words.' Like most other science, it resolves itself into lecturing, lecturing, lecturing, about all sorts of matters, relevant and irrelevant: one enormous bore prating about jurisprudence, another about statistics, another about education, and so forth; the _crambe repet.i.ta_ of the same rubbish, which has already been served up 'twies hot and twies cold,'{1} at as many other a.s.sociations nicknamed scientific.
_Miss Gryll._ Then, doctor, I should think Lord Curryfin's lecture would be a great relief to the unfortunate audience.
_The Rev. Dr. Opimian._ No doubt more amusing and equally profitable.
Not a fish more would be caught for it, and this will typify the result of all such scientific talk. I had rather hear a practical cook lecture on bubble and squeak: no bad emblem of the whole affair.
_Mr. Gryll._ It has been said a man of genius can discourse on anything.
Bubble and squeak seems a limited subject; but in the days of the French Revolution there was an amusing poem with that t.i.tle;{2} and there might be an amusing lecture; especially if it were like the poem, discursive and emblematical. But men so dismally far gone in the affectation of earnestness would scarcely relish it.
1 And many a Jacke of Dover hast thou sold, That hath been twies hot and twies cold.
Chaucer: The c.o.ke's Prologue.
2 'Babble and Squeak: a Gallimaufry of British Beef with the Chopped Cabbage of Gallic Philosophy.' By Huddesford.
CHAPTER IX
SAINT CATHARINE
... gli occhi su levai, E vidi lei che si facea corona, Riflettendo da se gli eterni ral Dante: Paradiso, x.x.xi. 70-72.
I lifted up my gaze, And looked on her who made herself a crown, Reflecting from herself the eternal rays.
It was not long before the doctor again walked over to the Tower, to propose to his young friend to co-operate in the Aristophanic comedy.
He found him well disposed to do so, and they pa.s.sed a portion of the afternoon in arranging their programme.
They dined, and pa.s.sed the evening much as before. The next morning, as they were ascending to the library to resume their pleasant labour, the doctor said to himself, 'I have pa.s.sed along galleries wherein were many chambers, and the doors in the day were more commonly open than shut, yet this chamber door of my young friend is always shut. There must be a mystery in it.' And the doctor, not generally given to morbid curiosity, found himself very curious about this very simple matter.
At last he mustered up courage to say, 'I have seen your library, dining-room, and drawing-room; but you have so much taste in internal arrangements, I should like to see the rest of the house.'
_Mr. Falconer._ There is not much more to see. You have occupied one of the best bedrooms. The rest do not materially differ.
_The Rev. Dr. Opimian._ To say the truth, I should like to see your own.