Part 24 (2/2)
”You made it all up.”
”A crime was committed.”
”And no one ever asked to speak with . . . the victim?”
”Oh, yes. I produced a Zhiisto. Told him what he must say. He was quite effective.”
”But if anyone questions him-”
”He has returned home. My gift will enable him to purchase a fis.h.i.+ng boat and marry the girl he had given up for lack of a bride price.”
Everything neat and orderly.
”You arranged all this for me. Why? Did you think I would enjoy watching that?”
”Did you?”
”It made me sick.”
”That doesn't answer my question.”
”Then answer mine!” His outburst seemed to shock the Pajhit, but he didn't care. ”Why did you do it?”
”They deserved to be punished for what they did, and this was the only way to make that happen.”
”Because rape isn't a crime when the victim is a slave.”
”Because no one cares when the victim is a slave.”
Keirith meant his laugh to sound mocking, but he could hear how close it was to hysteria. ”I'm supposed to believe you care about me? To be grateful that you raped my spirit and discovered those men raped my body?”
”Believe what you want.”
”I will. I do. You don't care about me.”
”Not if you're going to behave like a whining child. The world is cruel, Kheridh. Women die in childbirth. Men die of plague. Children starve. Boys are raped.”
The words shocked another bitter laugh from him. ”You're telling me me the world is cruel? After what I've suffered?” the world is cruel? After what I've suffered?”
”Everyone suffers, boy! Life is suffering.”
”I hate you.”
”You hate the fact that you were raped. That you reveled in their punishment. And that I was able to exact the retribution that you could not.”
”You entered my spirit-”
”And you were helpless to stop me. Just as you were helpless to combat your Tree-Father who deemed you an abomination. Helpless to escape the warriors who attacked your village. Helpless to fight off the men who raped you. But now you have a choice. You can let your hate and your helplessness consume you. You can bewail a world where innocents are raped and dreams are shattered. Or you can learn to live with those realities and understand that only one thing will prevent them from happening again.”
Keirith found himself with his back up against the wall, breathing as hard as if he were withstanding a physical a.s.sault.
”You have a gift, Kheridh.” Although the Pajhit spoke more gently, his voice held the same intensity. ”A gift you're afraid to use. But only by using it will you gain power. Today, you learned what a man with power can do. Power protects you. It protects those you love. It s.h.i.+elds your spirit from attack and allows you to punish those who hurt you. Without power, you will always be a helpless, terrified boy cowering in the dark.”
Keirith stumbled to the doorway and bolted past the startled guards. The Pajhit's words pursued him down the corridor. ”You cannot run from yourself, Kheridh. Or from the truth.”
”Follow him-but at a discreet distance,” Malaq instructed the guards. Then he sank down on the stone bench nearest the door.
He had gambled that honesty would win the boy's respect, but he'd failed to gauge the depth of Keirith's reaction to the punishment. He'd pushed too hard, too soon, forgetting how deeply boys feel things at that age.
Pursuing him now would only drive him away forever. Like a falconer training a hawk, he must demonstrate patience, persistence, dedication, and calm. He had swung the lure. He must wait to see if the boy returned to it.
Chapter 19.
KEIRITH ROUNDED A CORNER and careened into the Zheron. The startled priest grabbed on to him to steady himself. Without thinking, Keirith shoved him away. ”Please. Forgive me. Must go.”
”What is it? Good G.o.ds, what's the matter?” The concern on the Zheron's face was at odds with the leer he remembered from his interrogation.
”Please. Let go. Must . . . please!”
”Yes. All right.”
The Zheron glanced around as if seeking help. Over his shoulder, Keirith saw Hircha's moon-gold hair. The Zheron spoke rapidly to her.
”The Zheron says you look ill. He wishes to know if he can help.”
”Please. Thank the Zheron. I am well. I just . . . oh, G.o.ds, I just want to get away from this place!”
Before he could stop her, Hircha was translating. The Zheron frowned-was he going to punish him for that last outburst?-then suddenly smiled. Again, he spoke rapidly to Hircha.
”The Zheron says you've been caged too long. He offers to take you to the beach. To walk. To swim. Whatever pleases you.” When Keirith hesitated, she added, ”This is a great honor.”
Why would the Zheron want to honor him? When they pa.s.sed in a corridor, the priest responded politely to his bow, but walked on. The thought of having to make conversation sickened him, but how could he refuse without giving offense?
”The Zheron invites me to accompany you as that will make it easier to talk. But he wishes to a.s.sure you there is no need for conversation. It is enough to enjoy the morning air and the freedom.”
The wistfulness on Hircha's face finally convinced him. ”The guards. They'll follow us.”
When Hircha translated, the Zheron grinned and made a short reply before walking away. Keirith stared after him, mystified.
”He said, 'Not if we're clever.' ”
Three litters were waiting in the central courtyard. It was easy to let the guards see them crawling into one, then slip out the other side and into the adjacent one. The empty litter headed toward the western gate. Theirs followed the Zheron's out the main gate.
He managed well enough when they proceeded along one of Pilozhat's wide streets, but each time the bearers lurched down another flight of steps, he was thrown against Hircha. Her fingers clutched his arm as she tried to steady herself. Her hair tickled his cheek. Her breast brushed his bare arm. She apologized and laughed and said it would have been less bruising to walk. When she tumbled across his lap, a wave of heat shot through him.
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