Part 4 (1/2)

MARY.

LETTER XIII

_Thursday Night [Paris, Jan. 1794]._

I have been wis.h.i.+ng the time away, my kind love, unable to rest till I knew that my penitential letter had reached your hand--and this afternoon, when your tender epistle of Tuesday gave such exquisite pleasure to your poor sick girl, her heart smote her to think that you were still to receive another cold one.--Burn it also, my [Imlay]; yet do not forget that even those letters were full of love; and I shall ever recollect, that you did not wait to be mollified by my penitence, before you took me again to your heart.

I have been unwell, and would not, now I am recovering, take a journey, because I have been seriously alarmed and angry with myself, dreading continually the fatal consequence of my folly.--But, should you think it right to remain at Havre, I shall find some opportunity, in the course of a fortnight, or less perhaps, to come to you, and before then I shall be strong again.--Yet do not be uneasy! I am really better, and never took such care of myself, as I have done since you restored my peace of mind.

The girl is come to warm my bed--so I will tenderly say, good-night! and write a line or two in the morning.

_Morning._

I wish you were here to walk with me this fine morning! yet your absence shall not prevent me. I have stayed at home too much; though, when I was so dreadfully out of spirits, I was careless of every thing.

I will now sally forth (you will go with me in my heart) and try whether this fine bracing air will not give the vigour to the poor babe, it had, before I so inconsiderately gave way to the grief that deranged my bowels, and gave a turn to my whole system.

Yours truly MARY IMLAY.

LETTER XIV

_Sat.u.r.day Morning [Paris, Feb. 1794]._

The two or three letters, which I have written to you lately, my love, will serve as an answer to your explanatory one. I cannot but respect your motives and conduct. I always respected them; and was only hurt, by what seemed to me a want of confidence, and consequently affection.--I thought also, that if you were obliged to stay three months at Havre, I might as well have been with you.--Well! well, what signifies what I brooded over--Let us now be friends!

I shall probably receive a letter from you to-day, sealing my pardon--and I will be careful not to torment you with my querulous humours, at least, till I see you again. Act as circ.u.mstances direct, and I will not enquire when they will permit you to return, convinced that you will hasten to your Mary, when you have attained (or lost sight of) the object of your journey.

What a picture have you sketched of our fire-side! Yes, my love, my fancy was instantly at work, and I found my head on your shoulder, whilst my eyes were fixed on the little creatures that were clinging about your knees. I did not absolutely determine that there should be six--if you have not set your heart on this round number.

I am going to dine with Mrs. ----. I have not been to visit her since the first day she came to Paris. I wish indeed to be out in the air as much as I can; for the exercise I have taken these two or three days past, has been of such service to me, that I hope shortly to tell you, that I am quite well. I have scarcely slept before last night, and then not much.--The two Mrs. ----s have been very anxious and tender.

Yours truly MARY.

I need not desire you to give the colonel a good bottle of wine.

LETTER XV

_Sunday Morning [Paris, Feb. 1794]._