Part 17 (1/2)

He began to move his hand across the table to hold hers, but she dropped her spoon and crossed her arms tightly as if she were trying to lock herself away. No. Let me get this out, she said.

He sat back, helpless. An ugly feeling he thought hed begun to overcome in the past few months.

I realized, she continued, her words a painful rasp, that in distancing myself, I was depriving her of a second daughter.

Bam.

He sat bolt upright in his chair as her revelation triggered something in him. Hed done the same thing she hadhadnt he? The whole town had mourned his buddy Nate when he hadnt returned from Iraq. But Mack hadnt really returned, either. Not the Mack his friends and family remembered. The loss couldnt be easy for them.

He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and placed it on the table between them. First a self-inventory, he said. Then amends.

Sounds like two of twelve steps, she replied, not loosening the grip she had on herself.

Whatever. He pushed the phone closer to her. Its supposed to work.

The look in her eyes was clear and piercing. No tears. Supposed to work? You havent tried it.

Touche.

As if it were made of kryptonite, Mack picked up the cell and dialed.

Ma, its me. Mack, he said when his mother answered. Before she could jump to the conclusion that disaster had struck, he said, Everythings okay. Im about to turn in. I just wanted to let you know that were back from the Pillar and Post, and I kept an eye on Atherton like you wanted.

Did you have a good time? Lily asked.

Yes. I did, he admitted.

Then sleep well. I love you.

II love you, too, Mack said, then disconnected. Chloe couldnt know how long it had been since hed told his mother he loved her. The sincere expression of his feelings lifted his spirits.

Before Chloe could question him, he held out the phone. Your turn.

Chloe felt Macks gesture as if it were a physical a.s.sault. With a start she stood up. Suddenly the kitchen, which had seemed so warm and comforting, closed in on her. She pushed through the back door to the garden and stood in the moonlight, sucking in great gulps of air. When Mack followed her, she made her way to the old oak tree and the swing, deliberately avoiding the wrought-iron bench, which could accommodate two.

Wrapping her arms around the smooth hemp ropes, she sat on the wooden swing seat. She noticed with satisfaction that Mack wasnt chasing her with the phone. Eyes closed, she lifted her feet and let herself float on the night air. Let the chill envelop her and cool her. She didnt know if she could reach out to her parentsher mother, especiallythe way Mack had reached out to Lily.

She heard his boots on the gravel path. Felt his warmth behind her. Smelled the faint scent of his soap. He placed his hands over hers on the ropes. Leaned close so that his lips brushed her ear. Made her eyes fly open and the hair stand up on the back of her neck.

Its all right, he said in a voice at once tough yet rea.s.suring. Youre strong. Youll eventually do what needs doing.

Before she could answer, he pulled the swing backway backthen held her suspended above the ground. When she thought he might find some way to leave her hanging until she came to her senses, he gave a tremendous push and sent her swooping on an exhilarating arc.

At the familiar tightening of her stomach, she gasped with pleasure, just as Claire had done so many times when Chloe had pushed her on the playground swings. When Mack pushed more forcefully, she could hear her sister shouting, Higher! Could hear her laughter.

Claire, only a toddler, had been all about impetuosity and laughter and unconditional love. And that, Chloe suddenly realized, was what she had abandoned. What she had withheld from her parents. Who probably, despite their stoicism, had always needed as much emotional support from her as she had from them.

On the backswing, when Mack pushed her again, she pumped her legs and shouted, Higher! At the top of the forward swing, she let go of the ropes and honestly believed she could fly. And she did. For a couple of seconds before she lost both shoes and landed on the soft, cool gra.s.s of Junes manicured lawn. She held her sides and let the laughterand the tearsflow freely.

The borrowed outfit would have to be dry-cleanedand Mack would think she was nutsbut Chloe lay on her back and made angels in the dew. Mack stood above her, his hand extended, his mouth twitching in a lopsided grin that looked as rusty as her laughter felt.

She took his hand and let him pull her to her feet. Thank you, she said, feeling pounds lighter.

He held on to her and, with his free hand, brushed a leaf from her hair. Even after the leaf floated to the ground, the sensation of his touch lingered. Excited her. Warned her to be careful. Sharing their secrets was much more intimacy than shed ever intended.

When he leaned in to kiss her, she pressed the flat of her hand to the middle of his chest. Immediately he released her and stepped back.

Are you going to be all right? he asked, his voice brusque as shadows played over his features.

Yes. It might be the truth if she could take the last few minutes and bottle them.

Then Ill see you one more time tomorrow, he said.

The sheriffs welcome-home party. Three oclock. Ill be there. What else was there to say?

Unless she could find a way to maintain her break with the past and live in the present, she couldnt offer up a future.

When he walked out of the garden and around the side of the house, she allowed herself one long, last, moonlit look and felt the bottle of magic minutes break.

She was going to miss Mack.

M ACK LOOKED AT HIS watch. Three oclock on the dot. Hed planned to arrive at the reception before Garrett and Samantha, welcome them with the rest of the community, then duck out at the first opportunity with the excuse of relieving the few members of the staff manning headquarters this afternoon.

Inside the fire hall, people had already arrived by the dozens. June and Rachel had their volunteers, his mother included, lined up to protect the refreshment table. No one, absolutely no one, was getting through that formidable defense until Garrett and Samantha arrived to take the first bite. Chloe had been so busy snapping photos of the preparations, it had been easy to avoid her.

He didnt do goodbyes.

Theyre coming! someone shouted.

The crowd parted to let Garrett and Samantha through, along with Rory, who bounced joyously from one to the other like a golden retriever pup. Sam, of course, was as beautiful and poised as ever. But Garrettwhat a change. For a workaholic, the man looked relaxed and happy out of uniform. There must be something to married lifefor some peopleMack thought.

He was pleased to see that Chloe didnt force an interview. She took photos, yes, but discreetly. She did follow the family, however, and as they made their way around the hall, Mack knew a meetingwith all fourwas inevitable.

Hey, today wasnt about him. Or about a woman so beautiful by moonlight she made him dream what it might feel like to be free to pursue her.

He pasted what he hoped was a smile on his face as Garrett and Samantha drew near. Rory had been sidetracked by the refreshment table, but Chloe stood tenaciously off to the side, her camera ready.

Congratulations! he said and meant it as Garrett clapped him on the back.

Its wonderful to be home! Samantha planted a kiss on each of his cheeks.

Click. No mistaking that d.a.m.ned camera.

How was the honeymoon? Mack asked, turning so that Chloes lens would be not on him, but on the newlyweds.

Nothing short of awesome. A look of absolute contentment on his face, Garrett slipped his arm around Samanthas waist, and she nestled against him.