Part 3 (1/2)

”No.”

”Upon your oath, sir, are you not generally known by the name of d.i.c.k Strother?”

”That has nothing to do with this business.”

”I insist upon hearing an answer. Have you not obtained that name?”

”I am sometimes called so.”

”Now, d.i.c.k, as you admit you are so called, do you know the story of the hare and the ball of wax?”

”I have heard it.”

”Then pray have the goodness to relate it to the judge and the jury.”

”I do not exactly remember it.”

”Then I will refresh your memory by relating it myself. d.i.c.k Strother was a cobbler, and being in want of a hare for a friend, he put in his pocket a ball of wax and took a walk into the fields, where he soon espied one. d.i.c.k then very dexterously threw the ball of wax at her head, where it stuck, which so alarmed poor puss that in the violence of her haste she ran in contact with the head of another; both stuck fast together, and d.i.c.k, lucky d.i.c.k! caught both. d.i.c.k obtained great celebrity by telling this wondrous feat, which he always affirmed as a truth, and from that every notorious liar in Thorner bears the t.i.tle of d.i.c.k Strother. Now, d.i.c.k--I mean John--is not that the reason why you are called d.i.c.k Strother?”

”It may be so.”

”Then you may go.”

The same turbulent spirit (Lord Brougham) fell foul of many other law lords. It is well known that in a speech made at the Temple he accused Lord Campbell, who had just published his _Lives of the Chancellors_, of adding a new terror to death. Lord Campbell tells an amusing story which shows that he could retort with effect upon his n.o.ble and learned friend. He says that he called one morning upon Brougham at his house in Grafton Street, who ”soon rushed in very eagerly, but suddenly stopped short, exclaiming, 'Lord bless me, is it you? They told me it was Stanley'; and notwithstanding his accustomed frank and courteous manner, I had some difficulty in fixing his attention. In the evening I stepped across the House to the Opposition Bench, where Brougham and Stanley were sitting next each other, and, addressing the latter in the hearing of the former, I said, 'Has our n.o.ble and learned friend told you the disappointment he suffered this morning? He thought he had a visit from the Leader of the Protectionists to offer him the Great Seal, and it turned out to be only Campbell come to bore him about a point of Scotch law.' _Brougham_: 'Don't mind what Jack Campbell says; he has a prescriptive privilege to tell lies of all Chancellors, dead and living.'”

According to the same authority, Brougham was at one time very anxious to be made an earl, but his desire was entirely quenched when Lord John Russell gave an earldom to Lord Chancellor Cottenham. He is said to have been so indignant that he either wrote or dictated a pamphlet in which the new creation was ridiculed, and to which was appended the significant motto, ”The offence is rank.”

The common feeling with regard to Sir James Scarlett's (Lord Abinger) success in gaining verdicts led to the composition of the following pleasantry, attributed to Lord Campbell. ”Whereas Scarlett had contrived a machine, by using which, while he argued, he could make the judges'

heads nod with pleasure, Brougham in course of time got hold of it; but not knowing how to manage it when he argued, the judges, instead of nodding, shook their heads.”

And it is Lord Campbell who has preserved the following specimen of a judge's concluding remarks to a prisoner convicted of uttering a forged one-pound note. After having pointed out to him the enormity of the offence, and exhorted him to prepare for another world, added: ”And I trust that through the merits and the mediation of our Blessed Redeemer, you may there experience that mercy which a due regard to the _credit of the paper currency_ of the country forbids you to hope for here.”

Campbell married Miss Scarlett, a daughter of Lord Abinger, and was absent from Court when a case in which he was to appear was called before Mr. Justice Abbot. ”I thought, Mr. Brougham,” said his lords.h.i.+p, ”that Mr. Campbell was in this case?”--”Yes, my lord,” replied Mr.

Brougham, with that sarcastic look peculiarly his own. ”He was, my lord, but I understand he is ill.”--”I am sorry to hear that, Mr. Brougham,”

said the judge. ”My lord,” replied Mr. Brougham, ”it is whispered here that the cause of my learned friend's absence is scarlet fever.”

[Ill.u.s.tration: JOHN CAMPBELL, BARON CAMPBELL, LORD CHANCELLOR.]

In his native town of Cupar, Fife, Lord Chancellor Campbell's abilities and position were not so much appreciated as they were elsewhere. This was a sore point with his father, who was parish minister, and when the son was not selected by the town authorities to conduct their legal business in London the future Lord Chancellor also felt affronted. On the publication of the _Lives of the Chancellors_ some of his townsmen wrote asking him to present a copy to the local library of his native town, which gave Campbell an opportunity to square accounts with them for their past neglect of him, for he curtly replied to their request that ”they could purchase the book from any bookseller.” An old lady of the town relating some gossip about the Campbell family said, ”They meant John for the Church, but he went to London _and got on very well_.” Such was the good lady's idea of the relative positions of minister of a Scottish parish and Lord Chancellor of England.

The difference in the p.r.o.nunciation of a word led to an amiable contest between Lord Campbell and a learned Q.C. In an action to recover damages to a carriage the counsel called the vehicle a ”brougham,” p.r.o.nouncing both syllables of the word. Lord Campbell pompously observed, ”Broom is the usual p.r.o.nunciation--a carriage of the kind you mean is not incorrectly called a 'Broom'--that p.r.o.nunciation is open to no grave objection, and it has the advantage of saving the time consumed by uttering an extra syllable.” Later in the trial Lord Campbell alluding to a similar case referred to the carriage which had been injured as an ”Omnibus.”--”Pardon me, my lord,” interposed the Q.C., ”a carriage of the kind to which you draw attention is usually termed a 'bus'; that p.r.o.nunciation is open to no grave objection, and it has the great advantage of saving the time consumed by uttering _two_ extra syllables.”

[Ill.u.s.tration: SIR SAMUEL MARTIN, BARON OF EXCHEQUER.]

Mr. Martin (afterwards Baron Martin), when at the Bar, was addressing the Court in an insurance case, when he was interrupted by Baron Alderson, who said, ”Mr. Martin, do you think any office would insure your life?”--”Certainly, my lord,” replied Mr. Martin, ”mine is a very good life.”--”You should remember, Mr. Martin, that yours is brief existence.”