Part 40 (1/2)

”Like this? Do I look as if I were in a fit state of attire to open the door of even such a lady as yourself, Mrs. Lamb?”

”Are you going?”

The lady mounted two or three steps; there was something so significant in her manner that Mr. Cottrell temporised.

”I shall be only too happy to open the door as I am!--if you will allow me to pa.s.s.” She allowed him, and he pa.s.sed, firing a pa.s.sing shot as he went. ”You must understand that I intend to be perfectly frank with whoever's there--perfectly frank, and truthful. I have had more than sufficient of telling lies on your account, Mrs. Lamb.” At this point, throwing the hall-door wide open, he addressed some unseen individuals who were without in tones which were perhaps unnecessarily loud. ”If any of you people want money--and by the look of you I can see you do--it's no use your asking me, and so I may tell you at once, because I want money too, and from the same person, and that's Mrs. Lamb; and as Mrs. Lamb happens to be standing at this moment at the top of the staircase, in her dressing-gown and with her hair all over the place, perhaps you'll step in right away, and just say to her what you've got to say. Well, sir, and what might you happen to be wanting? Oh, it's Mr. Luker, is it? May I ask, sir, what you mean by pus.h.i.+ng me about as if I was a mechanical toy?”

It was indeed Mr. Isaac Luker, who had come into the hall with complete disregard of the fact that Mr. Cottrell was standing in the doorway. Being in, the visitor regarded the voluble butler with characteristic impa.s.sivity. Then, stretching out the forefinger of his right hand, he tapped at the centre of Mr.

Cottrell's crumpled s.h.i.+rt-front, and he delivered himself thus:--

”My advice to you is to put your head under the pump if there is one, and under the tap if there isn't, and let the water run for a good half-hour, for a complaint like yours it's the best medicine you can possibly have”.

It seemed that Mr. Cottrell was so taken aback by the proffer of this very handsome advice that for a moment or two he was at a loss for a retort; before he found one his mistress had interposed.

”Luker, come up here!”

Mr. Luker looked at the lady at the head of the staircase, at Mr. Cottrell, at the invisible persons who still remained without. He seemed to hesitate, as if in doubt whether or not to take a hand in the game just where he was; then, arriving at a sudden resolution, he did as the lady requested: he went upstairs, followed by the retort which Mr. Cottrell had found at last.

”Perhaps if you were to try a little of that medicine you recommend on your own account it mightn't do you any harm.”

The observation went unheeded. Mr. Luker was captured by the lady the moment he reached the topmost stair. She pointed to the flight in front.

”Up you go!” Up he went, with her at his heels. On the next landing she called his attention to the open bedroom door. ”In you go.” Perceiving what the apartment was he favoured her with what he perhaps meant for a whimsical glance, and in he went.

”Go straight through into the next room--that's my boudoir.” He went straight through, and she also. Closing the door of her bedroom she stood with her back to it, putting to him a question almost as if she were aiming a pistol at his head. ”Have you brought that money?”

Mr. Luker did not at once give her the answer she so imperatively demanded. Instead, holding his ancient top-hat in front of him as if it were some precious possession, he ventured on a remark of his own.

”Things seem a little at sixes and sevens; they almost suggest that domestic relations are a trifle strained. That man who calls himself a butler is not behaving as if he were a butler; and I regret to notice something about the establishment which one hardly expects to find in a lady's high-cla.s.s mansion.”

”Cottrell's going--at once. All the servants are going--lot of drunken brutes! I'm only waiting for the money to pay them their wages.”

”Oh, I see. And--those other persons on the doorstep, do they want money also?”

”I don't know who's there, and I don't care; but I daresay every one wants money. I do! Did you hear me ask if you've brought that money I told you to bring?”

”To what money are you alluding?”

”You know very well! None of your fooling! Have you brought that ten thousand pounds?”

”Ten thousand pounds!” He held up his hands, with his top-hat between them. ”Ten thousand pounds! She speaks of that great sum as if it were a mere nothing!”

”Have you brought it?”

”I certainly have not.”

”Then what have you brought?”

”I have brought--nothing.”