Part 10 (1/2)

8. Preparation for marriage and motherhood. Much that the girl should know can come to her through no other medium than that indicated in the preceding paragraph--confidential intercourse with the woman of mature years. For the sake of the girls who fail to find this woman elsewhere every school for adolescent girls should have on its faculty a woman who will ”mother” its girls.

9. Acquaintance with the lives of some of the great women of history, as well as of some who have lived inspiring lives in the girl's own country and time. A long list of such women might be made.

10. Some unoccupied time. Our girl must not be permitted to acquire the bad habit of rus.h.i.+ng through life.

11. Study of vocations and avocations for women. Avocations--the work which serves as play--should be wisely studied, and some avocation adopted by every girl.

[Ill.u.s.tration: Photograph by Brown Bros.

A quiet retreat. Every girl needs some unoccupied time in order that she may not acquire the habit of rus.h.i.+ng]

Part of this training girls everywhere in this country may get if the opportunities open to them are seized. The proportion of purely mental work and of handwork will vary according to the locality in which the girl finds herself. In general, however, such matters receive more consideration than the more complex ones of direct social bearing.

How a girl shall dress, with whom and under what conditions she shall find her social life, what she shall know of herself, of woman in general, of the opposite s.e.x, what her relations with her mother shall be--these things are more often than not left to chance or to the girl's untrained inclination.

The dress question rests fundamentally upon the personal question, What do clothes mean to the girl? Behind that we usually find what clothes mean to her mother, to her teachers, to the women who have a part in her social life. Instinct teaches the girl to adorn her person. Environment is largely responsible for the sort of adornment she will choose. To bring the matter at once to a practical basis, what standards shall we set up for our girls to see, to admire, and to adopt as their own?

”Well dressed” may be interpreted to mean simply, or serviceably, or conspicuously, or becomingly, or fas.h.i.+onably, or cheaply, or appropriately, according to the standard of the person who uses the term. It would necessarily be impossible to establish a common standard for any considerable group of women, since individual conditions must govern individual choice. A wise standard for girls and their mothers, however, will conform to certain principles, even though the application of the principles be widely different.

These principles may be expressed somewhat as follows:

1. Beauty in dress is expressed in line, color, and adaptation to personal appearance, not in expense.

2. Fitness depends upon the occasion and upon the relation of cost to the wearer's income.

3. Simplicity conduces to beauty, fitness, and to ease of upkeep.

4. Upkeep, including durability and cleansing possibilities, is as important a consideration in selecting clothes as in selecting buildings and automobiles. Freshness outranks elegance.

5. Individuality should be the keynote of expression in dress.

Conformity to the foregoing principles in establis.h.i.+ng a personal standard will of necessity prevent slavish imitation and the striving to reach some other woman's standard which bears again and again such bitter fruit. The erroneous notion fostered by thousands of American women, that if you can only look like the women of some social set to which you aspire you are like them for all social purposes, is a fallacy, in spite of its general acceptance. We might as well expect blue eyes, straight noses, or number three shoes to form the basis of a social group.

The mother or the teacher who bases her instruction in this matter on the a.s.sumption that pretty clothes of necessity breed vanity and all its attendant evils is merely sowing the seed of her influence upon stony ground when once the girl discovers her belief. Nature is telling the girl to make herself beautiful. It is not only useless but wrong to set ourselves against this instinct. Instead we must show her what beauty in clothes means, and how to attain it without paying for it more than she can afford, in money, in time, or in sacrifice of her spiritual self. The school does its share when it teaches the general theory of beauty, with practical ill.u.s.tration in study of line and color schemes. The individual teacher and the mother have to impart the far more delicate lessons concerning influence and cost--mental, moral, and spiritual--in other words, the psychology of clothes.

Our girl must grow up fully cognizant of what her clothes cost. When she desires, as she doubtless will desire, silk petticoats, and an ”up-to-date” hat, and high-heeled shoes, and an absurdly beruffled dress, and a wonderful array of ribbons, she must discover what each and every one of these things costs and whether it is worth the price.

The high heels sometimes cost health; the conspicuous dress may cost the good opinion or the admiration of those who value modesty above style; the silk petticoat may be bought at the cost of mother's or father's sacrifice of something needed far more; the tr.i.m.m.i.n.g on the hat may have cost the life of a beautiful mother bird and the slow starvation of her nestlings. Nothing the girl wears costs money only.

She must also learn that fine clothes are out of place on a girl whose body is not finely cared for; that money is better expended for quality than for show; and, most of all, that clothes are secondary matters, when all is said.

Wisdom and sympathy and tact are never more needed than in this sort of teaching. The principles of good dressing cannot be laid down baldly and coldly, like mathematical rules, for the guidance of a girl palpitating with youthful and beauty-loving instincts. The mother who says, merely, ”Certainly not. You don't need them. I never had silk stockings when I was a girl,” is failing to meet her obligations quite as much as the mother who allows her daughter to appear at school in a costume suited only to some formal evening function. There are mothers of each of these sorts.

The wise mother whose daughter has developed a sudden scorn for the stockings she has worn contentedly enough hitherto does not dismiss the subject in the ”certainly not” way, however kindly spoken. She treats her daughter's request seriously, asks a few questions, in the answers to which ”the other girls” will probably figure largely, and talks it over.

”Of course, there is the first cost to consider. The price of three or four pairs of silk stockings would give you a dozen pairs of fine cotton. Yes, I know there are cheaper silk ones to be had, but their quality is poor. We should scarcely want you to wear coa.r.s.e, poorly made ones. And of course you know silk ones do not last so long. They are pretty, and pleasant to wear, and cool, I know. How would it do to have silk ones to wear with your new party dress, and keep on with the cotton ones for school? We don't want to be overdressed in business hours, you know. Then, it seems to me, it is a little hard on the really poor girls at school if the rest of you are inclined to overdress. They are so likely to get into the habit of spending their money for cheap imitations of what you other girls wear--or if they are too sensible for that they are probably unhappy because they have to look different. Wouldn't it be kinder not to wear expensive things to school at all?”

The object is not so much to keep the girl from having unsuitable garments as to teach her to see all sides of the clothes question, to realize her responsibilities, and to learn to choose wisely for herself.

It is highly desirable that mothers keep up their own standards of dress as they approach middle life and their daughters enter the adolescent period. Some women even make the mistake of dressing shabbily that they may gown their daughters resplendently. They are educating their daughters to a false standard and to a selfish life.

Teachers also probably seldom realize how wide an influence they may exercise upon their adolescent girl pupils in the matter of dress.