Part 14 (1/2)
”Precisely. But I would settle for her, were she inclined. She is a nice person.”
”Perhaps I can help. I shall speak to Ida, with your permission.”
”I have no objection.”
Justin projected his voice to Ida's ear. ”This is Justin,” he whispered. ”Ca.s.saunova would like to have a serious relations.h.i.+p with Ca.s.saundra, but she does not take him seriously, because of his reputation. If she would like such a relations.h.i.+p, she should perhaps take the initiative. It would be helpful if you discussed this prospect with her.”
Princess Ida glanced across at him and nodded.
”I spoke to Ida,” Justin said to Ca.s.saunova. ”She will converse with Ca.s.saundra, suggesting that she take the initiative. I can't promise that anything will come of this.”
The centaur shrugged. ”If Ca.s.saundra approaches me, she shall find me receptive.”
After a reasonable interval the centaurs slowed. ”We are nearing the border of our region,” Ca.s.saunova said. ”We must pa.s.s through a comic strip to enter the little machine region, which in turn borders the one we seek.”
”Little machines?”
”A young woman makes them from inanimate objects. They are peculiar as machines go, and other machines do not approve of their origin, so they are isolated from the main machines.”
”But first we must cross the comic strip,” Ca.s.saundra said with a delicate shudder.
”Indeed,” Ca.s.saunova agreed. ”It may be best to plunge through it rapidly.”
”What can be so bad about a comic strip?” Justin inquired.
He saw the two centaurs exchange a glance, to which the female added half a smile. It lit half her face, making it prettier. ”On reconsideration, let's walk through this one,” she suggested. ”So they can experience it more fully.”
Ca.s.saunova nodded and led the way. He stepped across a faintly s.h.i.+mmering line on the ground.
A strange man appeared ”Get your cures here,” he said loudly. ”Very reasonable prices. Offer will not be repeated.”
”Why, I could use a cure,” Ca.s.saundra said.
”Sorry, no females need apply,” the man said. ”My cures are only for men. I'm a man-i-cure.”
”Oof,” Justin said involuntarily. ”What a pun!”
Then he received a rough poke in the side. He jumped, and saw that he had brushed up against a big k.n.o.bby plant. No-it was reaching out to poke him and the centaur.
”Poke weed,” Ca.s.saunova said. ”Can't be avoided in this nefarious strip.”
Another obnoxious pun. ”Let's move on,” Justin said somewhat shortly.
A bird flew up before them with a great racket of wings. It was green, and seemed to be made of strung-together green beads. One of the beads flung loose and landed in Justin's lap. Suddenly he felt the urge to urinate. He quickly brushed it off, and the urge abated. ”What was that?”
”A peac.o.c.k,” the centaur explained. ”A bird made entirely of peas.”
”Oof!” Justin repeated. There was more to that pun than met the eye.
They came to a path running down the center of the comic strip. It was wide and smooth. ”This seems nice to travel,” Ida said.
Ca.s.saundra shook her head. ”We must cross it quickly.”
Before anyone could ask why, several weird things came zooming along the path. They seemed to be human beings on wheeled devices that they impelled by the use of pedals. But instead of proceeding in single file, they were constantly cras.h.i.+ng into each other. Some were sitting facing back, while others were resting on their heads, with their feet in the air and using their hands to pedal. All of them had crazy looks on their faces. ”Get out of my way!” one yelled at another as he veered into the other, making them both crash.
”No, you get out of my way!” the other retorted, getting back on his machine and deliberately colliding again.
There was a growl from below. The path, evidently annoyed, heaved up and hurled both cyclists forward. But as soon as they got their wheels under them again, the two resumed their reckless behavior.
”What on earth is going on?” Justin asked, appalled.
”This is a cyclepath,” Ca.s.saunova explained. ”All the cyclers on it are crazed. They are positively cyclepathic.”
”Oof!” This time it was Unpun. ”I can't stand it!”
”Fortunately you are sitting,” Catarrh said with a rotten smirk.
”The path seems none too pleased, either,” Ida remarked.
”Oh, that's just road rage,” Ca.s.saundra said.
All three visitors groaned.
”Do you think they have seen enough?” Ca.s.saunova asked her innocently.
”Yes, more than enough!” Justin said.
”Then let's leap out of here.” The three centaurs meant that literally; they leaped across the cyclepath and again to the far side of the comic strip.
The terrain beyond was pleasant enough, especially as it was punfree. But scattered across it were a.s.sorted small objects that turned out to be machines. Some looked like stones, but they put down stony legs to move out of the way. Others looked like sticks, until they clicked open wooden eyes. Still others were more complicated, doing all manner of obscure tasks. A number were building a little house.
The centaurs drew up before that house. ”Three greetings, Lyn!” Ca.s.saunova called.
A little machine cranked open the door and a young woman stepped out. ”Why, h.e.l.lo, Ca.s.s,” she said. ”Are you still romancing all the girls?”
”Well-”
”No, he isn't,” Ca.s.saundra said.
Both Ca.s.saunova and Justin paused for a moment. Was that an initiative?
”Then to what do I owe this rare visit?” Lyn inquired.
”We are merely crossing your region,” Ca.s.saundra said. ”We thought we should stop by, in case you have objection.”
”Are you planning to do any damage?”
”No, of course not.” Then the centaur filly reconsidered. ”Unless you consider the abolition of some puns to be damage.”
”By no means! Puns are overflowing the pun-kin patch and polluting the land. Something needs to be done before we all perish of groaning.”