Part 11 (2/2)
Punny was distraught, but nothing she could do could bring him back to life. She could not create puns consciously, and even had that been possible, what pun would suffice for something as unfunny as this? So she did the next best thing: She brought Unpun's body to Castle Zombie and begged the Zombie Master to zombie him, so that he could have at least half a life. The Zombie Master did so, but Unpun could no longer make puns disappear. There seemed to be no fixed rule with respect to talents and zombies; some zombies kept their talents, some had partial talents, and some had none.
”I wonder why that is,” Justin remarked musingly. ”One would think that the process would be consistent.”
”Don'th know.”
”Could it be that some are fresher than others? How long were you dead before getting zombied?”
”Threee daysh.”
”So have any zombies of that duration of death retained their talents?”
”Yesh, a numberr.”
”So that's not it. Does the nature of the talent have bearing?”
”Noo.”
”But there must be some reasonable rationale.”
”Nooo.”
Justin gave it up, frustrated; this was, after all, peripheral to his quest. ”So what happened after you became a zombie?”
It turned out that Punny did not want to continue without Unpun. For one thing, there was now no nullification of all the puns that grew in her wake. She had to keep moving, or they soon surrounded her, making life unbearable for her and anyone near her. She had depended on Unpun to keep them under control, and now they proliferated impossibly. For another, she loved him, and had no joy of life alone.
”But why didn't you stay with her, as a zombie?” Justin asked. ”She did not have to be denied your company.”
”Nooo,” Unpun said, pained.
It turned out that when Unpun lost his life, and his talent, he also lost his sense of humor. He did not find it funny, being a zombie, and he did not feel like laughing at anything. But Punny was increasingly surrounded by puns. He could not get close to her without stepping on them. Every time he touched one, it forced him to laugh, and it really hurt him to laugh. He couldn't endure it. So he was unable to approach her.
”That's an intriguing reversal,” Justin remarked. ”Zombie fleeing maiden.”
But Unpun did not appreciate that form of humor, either.
The regular folk of Xanth normally took puns in stride, and even expected to encounter a certain number regularly. But the density around Punny was far too intense for anyone who wasn't a m.a.s.o.c.h.i.s.t. Punny lost her friends; the stench of bad humor was just too much for them. Finally Punny fled Xanth, seeking refuge on Ida's moon Ptero. She left her body in a safe place for the duration, and her soul went to reside in one of the few places where puns were welcome in any concentration. There she remained, patiently awaiting rescue from her fate.
”That is certainly interesting,” Justin concluded. ”But I remain uncertain how it explains why you can't guide me to the Ring of Idea.” For that was, after all, the point of this a.s.sociation.
Unpun explained, slowly and confusingly, and finally Justin understood. Punny's job on Ptero was to safeguard the Ring of Idea, so that it would be there when it was needed. That meant that the Ring too would be surrounded by puns. Unpun would be unable to approach it, or even to direct anyone else to it, as long as it was in Punny's possession.
”But why did she take that job, then?” Justin asked, righteously perplexed. ”She surely didn't have to. Didn't she know that would prevent you from guiding anyone to it when the need came?”
”Yesh.”
As usual, it was necessary to question further, slowly unraveling the details. It seemed that Punny wanted Unpun to recover his sense of humor, so that both of them could be happy again. The only way he could possibly do that was to be returned to full life. That could be accomplished by the holder and wielder of the Ring of Idea. So Punny made sure to be there when the holder came, so she could ask him to do that for Unpun.
”The Ring of Idea can do that?” Justin asked, amazed. ”It can restore you to full life?”
”Yesh.”
”That is amazing. I never heard of life being fully restored after death. What an idea!”
”Precishly.”
It took Justin a moment to a.s.semble that thought. Restoring life after death was a fantastic idea, so it fell in the province of the Ring of Idea. ”And that is why you know where the Ring is!” Justin exclaimed, finally making the connection. ”Because you know where she is. Yet you can't guide me there.”
”Yesh. Yesh,” Unpun agreed.
”What an irony!”
”Yesh.”
”But you know I do have to find it, and you surely want me to succeed.”
”Yesh.”
”So we shall just have to figure out how you can help me get that Ring.”
”Yes,” Unpun agreed. But the zombie did not look confident.
Justin pondered half a moment. ”First, of course, we shall have to travel to Castle Roogna.”
”Noo.”
”No? Why not?”
”Bad direchion.”
”But that's where Princess Ida is.”
”Nooo!”
”It certainly is. Breanna delivered our wedding invitation there only a few days ago. We would have heard if she had moved.”
”Noo.”
”But I tell you-” Justin broke off, catching on. ”You can't guide me there! So you had to protest when I called out the correct route.”
”Yesh,” Unpun agreed, abashed.
”Very well. We shall go to Castle Roogna. You know it's best, don't you?”
”Yesh,” the zombie agreed faintly.
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