Part 15 (2/2)

Doc had to force Gordon to leave to alow him to work on the injuries. He told Gordon he'd have to check her to see just how bad it was and see if he could fix her up. He maneuvered Gordon to the door and told him he would let him know her condition as soon as possible in the morning. He closed and bolted the door. He went back to join his wife at the girl's side.

Together they gently cleaned Alisha's back, which was a b.l.o.o.d.y pulp of torn, mangled flesh. They applied a salve and carefuly bandaged it, then set to work on her other injuries. The worst sc.r.a.pes, cuts and burns were painted with tincture of iodide. Her head wound was washed, balmed and dressed. This was about al they could do for her.

al they could do for her.

After talking it over with his wife, Doc decided it would be best if he kept her sedated for the next few days. He knew this would prevent him from knowing the ful extent of her head injury, but the reality of her pain and the tortures she had recently undergone would be far worse for her at the present. Doc gave her a heavy dose of laudanum and put her in the spare room to the back of the their quarters.

The next few days pa.s.sed slowly for the Philseys. They watched over Alisha as if she were their own daughter Elizabeth. Their hearts reached out to her when she would cry out for deliverance from her unseen enemy who haunted her even in her heavily drugged state. She had screamed out such terrible things. They would stare at each other in shock, wondering how she could have endured it al, if in fact her words were true. At those times, they would try to quiet and comfort her, but could not reach her. How could they doubt her words when her bodily injuries said she spoke the truth?

They daily bathed and dressed the wounds, keeping a close check for infection. Alisha's fever had finaly broken and some of the angry redness in the welts began to subside slightly. The Philseys had forced soups and fluids down her throat numerous times during the day and night. They had been forced to change blood and sweat-soaked sheets twice a day. Things finaly seemed to be coming under their control. Her cries would have puled at even the hardest heartstrings.

By the sixth day, Doc knew he must alow the laudanum to wear off in order to check Alisha for any internal and brain injuries. He dreaded the thought of letting her regain consciousness, but knew it was necessary. In her delirium and pain, she had traveled knew it was necessary. In her delirium and pain, she had traveled back in time and relived many horrible events. Each tragedy claimed her energies, and Alisha would cal out and whimper in her troubled sleep.

By mid-afternoon, the sedative began to wear off gradualy. She began to stir restlessly and moan in discomfort. With each movement, her pain and awareness increased. Each action brought fresh waves of burning, stabbing pain to her back and head. Her mouth was so dry she could hardly swalow. Her head pounded and swam dizzily. She ached al over. Why was she so weak and groggy? She fought hard to regain consciousness, but couldn't quite bring herself above the dreamy level. Every so often she would hear soft whispering. Where was she and why was she in such terrible agony? Where were her parents and why didn't they stop this excruciating pain?

Alisha could hear someone screaming and crying. She realized it was she, but could not order her mouth to stop. Why didn't someone help her? Had she been in some accident? Couldn't they see how much she was suffering? It was so hot. Her back felt like a sheet of fire. Her limbs felt strangely dismembered. Her thoughts colided one with the other in a kaleidoscopic dream of varying colors and phantoms. Although her mind had traveled backward in time, it was swiftly hurling forward to the present with each pa.s.sing minute. She would soon know the answers to her questions-only to wish for unconsciousness again.

A female voice startled her. She was stunned at the English she heard. ”Don't cry, Sweetness. You're safe now. They can't ever hurt you again.”

Alisha trod the twilight between consciousness and wakefulness. Her thoughts jumbled together and she moaned, ”No wakefulness. Her thoughts jumbled together and she moaned, ”No ... It can't be... It's not fair... Prayed to die ... Suffered enough ... Let it be over ... Can bear no more ... Others al dead ... Why not me? ... Can't wake up . .. Can't be kaskapi... No more cruelty and hatred... Al blood and death... Torture .. .” She screamed out, ”Please don't let him hurt me again. The pain...

Hurts... My head... The fire... Untie me . .. Let me go... Please, water... Must escape ... Papa, help me! ... In the fire, burning, must save it... No-o-o ... Beg you, mine ... It's mine ... Must help Kathy... Don't hurt her... Needs water, food ... Hates us al...

No place to run ... Can't hide from his eyes and ears ... Al alone now... Al dead ... So hot... The pain...”

Her mental torment and agitation became so great, she bolted upright in the bed, face ashen with terror and eyes wide with fear. She screamed to her elusive antagonist, ”No more, Gray Eagle. I beg you, no more...” The pleading softly faded as she lapsed back into unconsciousness, mumbling faintly, ”... No more ... Be good... No more, please...”

She lay there drenched in perspiration, mentaly and physicaly exhausted. Mrs. Philsey stared down at her in shock and bewilderment. This girl's words and fears definitely did not match the accusations the Brown girl was spreading around the fort. Alisha certainly didn't sound like a wiling squaw to her. Al her pleas had been filed with hopes of escape from him and his brutality. It sounds to me like she was terrified of the b.a.s.t.a.r.d, Mrs. Philsey decided. Stil, there were nagging doubts which puled at her mind. Perhaps this girl was halucinating part of the things she said. The head injury or the terror of her capture and ravishment could be responsible for the ilusions in her mind.

One thing was sure-she had been the captive of Gray Eagle, One thing was sure-she had been the captive of Gray Eagle, for she had begged for mercy from him, only him ... Mrs. Philsey begrudgingly wondered if this Gray Eagle were as handsome and virile as she had heard. The few women who had caught a glimpse of him during raids had spoken heatedly about his good looks, das.h.i.+ng boldness and brave manner. He had been likened to Adonis. Even the Brown girl couldn't hide her envy of Alisha's position. Mrs. Philsey suspiciously wondered if his cruelty had completely blocked out al that magnetism and sensuality. It definitely had not in the Brown girl. Stil, Alisha had not spoken any words of love or desire. Confidently she vowed, I wil know her thoughts and feelings for him and his kind very soon...

Powchutu had given a surprised start when Alisha had cried the name of Gray Eagle. He had been standing near the window of her room adjusting the bridle on his horse when she had cried out loud. He had listened to her rantings as he pretended to be busy with his gear. He had an overwhelming desire to hear and know more. He had overheard the gossip from the soldiers in the fort. They enviously discussed the beautiful white girl they had rescued from the camp of the Oglala, in fact, from the very teepee of Gray Eagle himself! Powchutu was highly skeptical of the fact she was the private slave and captive of Wanmdi Hota. Gray Eagle capture and hold a white girl for his very own? Impossible! Why, he hasn't even taken an Indian winyan for his own! thought the Indian scout. Not that any one of them wouldn't give anything for that honor. Perhaps he is much like me. Perhaps he awaits that one special woman who wil stir and awaken the heart. From the facts I have learned, the decision of choosing a winyan wil soon be out of his hands. decision of choosing a winyan wil soon be out of his hands. But what is this white girl to him? She has caled out to him in her sleep. Do the white soldiers speak the truth for once? Did that girl inside truly belong to the most feared and awed warrior in this entire area? Al men, Indian and white, know the victories of Wanmdi Hota, and tremble to be caled his enemy.

Powchutu recaled his past two years as a scout for the fort. He rarely believed anything these men said or did, but this time it might be true. In al his twenty-six years, they had shown him only contempt and hatred as they did al mixed-breeds, ”hankewasichun” as the Indian would say. How he despised being caled ”that half-breed scout” by the white man and ”hanke-wasichun” by the Indian. One day he would show them al! They wil come to fear and respect the name of Powchutu as they did the name of Wanmdi Hota.

There was a great deal of deeply rooted bitterness, hatred and resentment in Powchutu against both peoples. His mixed lineage had caused him many problems and a good deal of suppressed anger and mental torment. His kind were rejected and hated by both sides. He had no real friends or family on either side of his blood line, and his life was empty and dismal. It was tormenting to be so al alone and alienated in a world of living, laughing, loving people.

Powchutu, cast out by both the red and white nations, swore his revenge against them both. Perhaps he would win his retaliation through the eventual confrontation between Gray Eagle and Lieutenant Gordon ...

Later in the night, Alisha regained consciousness, screaming in Later in the night, Alisha regained consciousness, screaming in the grips of pain and ilusion. Doc and his wife finaly calmed her down. She was trembling uncontrolably. Her cheeks were very flushed and huge tears escaped the luminous green eyes. She was thin and pale from the many days of undernourishment and ilness. Her face revealed signs of the intense bodily pain and mental suffering she was undergoing.

She stared in disbelief and confusion at her unfamiliar surroundings and the two strangers who sat before her. She was hardly aware of what they were saying to her. She hastily blinked several times expecting the apparition to vanish. When it did not, she asked, ”Where am I? How did I get here? Who are you?”

Before they could offer any explanation, her terror-filed eyes scanned the room and she shrieked, ”Where is he? Why did he bring me here?” Her tone changed to one of pleading, ”Please don't let him hurt me again. Tel him I won't try to escape anymore. It's impossible ... He'd only track me down again and...” She hesitated, then questioned, ”What is he going to do with me now? Is the punishment over? Wil he beat me again when I am wel?”

Doc gently patted her hand and spoke comfortingly to her until she quieted down enough for him to go on with his explanation. He said, ”You've been very il. We weren't sure we could even help you. My wife and 1 have doctored you day and night for these past six days. Without proper care, I doubt you would have survived in that vilage. It's a good thing Lieutenant Jeffrey Gordon found you when he did and brought you here so promptly. Of course, the Indians are gonna be plenty mad when they learn of his raid on their camp, if they don't know already.”

She gazed dumbfoundedly at him. His words hardly made any sense to Alisha. She stammered, ”How did the cavalry know about sense to Alisha. She stammered, ”How did the cavalry know about us? Six days ... Safe ... Rescued ... When I tried to escape, I was heading for Fort Pierre. Lieutenant Gordon? Wil he come after me?

Wil he attack here?' She lowered her voice to a soft quiver, ”You don't know what he's capable of. We're not safe even here. He destroyed our fortress and kiled everyone. He'l come here and...”

She could not believe that it was over. How could such a long, brutal ordeal suddenly halt? Could it realy be possible and true?

Free from torment and him?

Mrs. Philsey adamantly stated, ”You're safe here, Sweetness. He can't harm you anymore. It's al over. He isn't strong enough to attack here. Why, our cavalry would cut him and his warriors to pieces if they tried to attack this fort! He's not that stupid.” Alisha listened to the voice filed with positive a.s.surance. Doc caught Alisha as she fel backwards in a dead faint. ”This news must be a great shock to her after al she's been through. Poor child, probably figured she'd never be free of those Indians again. When she realizes she's truly free and safe, she'l be al right. She's young and pretty. It'l take a little time, but she'l adjust and be fine.” He laid her head on the pilow, adjusted her body and covered her up.

Mrs. Philsey replied causticaly, ”Little time! It'l take lots of time to get over what she's been through. I'l wager she never forgets it. There's no teling what those savages have done to her. I can't see why the cavalry doesn't ride in there and punish them al. They should stop this kind of thing from ever happening to innocent people. If it takes kiling them al, then so be it. Go on and get it over with and stop al this brutality.”

”Now, now, my dear. We can't just ride into their camps and slaughter them. Chances are things wil settle down soon. You're slaughter them. Chances are things wil settle down soon. You're just al riled up because she looks so much like our daughter.”

”She's a white woman and they've dared to treat her like some animal! Mark my words, my husband, some day we wil be forced to either wipe them al out or get off their lands. I would bet my life that those redskins would sooner die than give this area up. I'l wager that's the only way we can remain here or have others come later. Those Injuns wil never be pushed aside or back. We'l be forced to get rid of them any way we can. You'l see...”

Doc was startled by the cold-blooded gleam in his wife's eyes and the tone of her voice. He reasoned she was only more upset about this event than he had guessed. Evidently she was seeing Elizabeth instead of Alisha. He refused once more to see there was more to her meaning than he was ready to acknowledge. He dismissed the subject.

He sighed deeply and said, ”Let's go to bed and get some rest. She's exhausted. She'l no doubt sleep through the night. I'l come in and check on her later. Forget about those Indians and their punishment. It doesn't concern us.” They retired for the night. The next few days were a confused time for Alisha, ful of painful awakenings and slow-descending reality. It was true... she was safe at Fort Pierre. Her days were consumed with resting and eating. Gradualy she began to regain her color and strength. The worst of the agony had receded. Now, it took only smal doses of laudanum to ease the harshest of pain and relieve sleeplessness. The medication duled the torment to a mild aching and eased the throbbing in her head. She became restless and agitated at having to sleep and lie on her sides and stomach al the time, but it was far too painful to lie on her back. When Doc placed the salve on her back painful to lie on her back. When Doc placed the salve on her back she would cringe in distress. The headaches gradualy went away and the head wound healed, leaving a dark bruise. With more time, the weakness and soreness lessened. Longer periods of total awareness were brought on by the reduction in medication. Her mind was constantly bombarded with thoughts of her past. She fought hard to push al memories from her mind until she was stronger, but they refused to be suppressed for very long..She knew she must come to terms with al of it, or go insane. Aliha thought, which was more frightening -reality or insanity?

She had refused al visitors and saw no one but the Philseys. When Jeffery Gordon insisted on seeing her, she panicked. Doc had no choice but to forbid it for the time being because of her highly agitated mental state. Most of the time she remained calm and subdued. But other times, she would just sit and stare off into s.p.a.ce with silent tears easing down her cheeks. Doc would shake his head sadly, knowing he couldn't offer any real comfort. He would convince himself it would al work itself out soon and she would be al right. She would come to learn her horror was over and life must go on.

He was deeply concerned about the look of terror in her eyes when she did not hear someone enter her room. On many nights the Philseys could hear her soft weeping, but had let her be. Doc said she had to work these fears and emotions out for herself. As the days hastened by, Alisha tried to form a friends.h.i.+p with Mrs. Philsey. But the doctor's wife constantly pressed her for answers to questions Alisha did not want to recal. Alisha thought in exasperation, why was she so determined to have al the grisly, private details of her capture and life of captivity? When Mrs. Philsey pressed Alisha for information, Alisha would retreat into Philsey pressed Alisha for information, Alisha would retreat into silence and gaze off into s.p.a.ce as if there was no one else present. This action would greatly irritt and aggravate Mrs, Philsey. She was forced to cease her questioning for the time being. She would study the girl who was sitting before her, so distant, taciturn and fidgety. To be denied the information she wanted was eating at her like a great gnawing hunger.

Alisha's stubborn silence, as she caled it, piqued her even more. Why did this girl refuse to tel her what had happened? What did she have to hide? Her captivity was no secret. Why did she refuse to discuss it with a sympathetic ear? Judging Alisha by her standards caused Mrs. Philsey's doubts as to what realy did happen to Alisha in the Oglala camp. Memory of Kathy's accusations began to filter into Mrs. Philsey's mind. She had coaxed Alisha with such arguments as, ”It would help you to accept and deal with what happened to you if you would let us discuss it. Talk to me, Alisha. I can be very understanding. You can't keep al that tension, fear and hatred al corked up inside.”

Alisha perceived Mrs. Philsey was only over-curious and a little too inquisitive. She couldn't possibly discuss the things which took place between her and Gray Eagle with this stranger. It was those intimate, personal things which tormented her. She wouldn't be able to conceal certain emotions and expressions if the discussion got out of hand. No one, no matter how considerate or sympathetic, would understand or accept how she felt and why. She must keep it al to herself, no matter how piqued or angry Mrs. Philsey became. She was grateful to her for al she had done for her, but this did not have to be repaid by baring her very heart and soul to the woman.

Alisha would try to talk politely and respectfuly. When al else Alisha would try to talk politely and respectfuly. When al else failed, she would plead with her, ”Please, Mrs. Philsey. I just can't think or talk about what happened to me out there. I want to forget it ever did. It is too difficult and painful to recal it. I'm sorry, but I can't. I can't...”

Mrs. Philsey had done everything but demand she tel her everything. Reluctantly she would be forced to give in to Alisha's pleas. She was determined to have every gruesome, intimate detail of this girl's life in the Oglala vilage and those suspicious incidents back at their fortress. In time, she vowed. In time ...

Alisha's back began to scab over and hasten the healing process. It mainly hurt when she made sudden moves or bends. The scabs were taut, and would sometimes break and bleed. Doc insisted she get up frequently to exercise. She would sit by the open window for fresh air and suns.h.i.+ne. Doc had taken a liking to this slip of a girl. His fondness for her deepened each day. It became very easy to talk with her. She was very inteligent, and could converse on various topics. He became very much aware of her charm, wit and good breeding. She was fresh, alive, enchanting and lovely. But she was also vulnerable, artless and fragile. Such a combination in one so young, beautiful and abused. How had she managed to retain her air of innocence and dignity?

Much to Alisha's grat.i.tude and relief, he never broached the subject of her slavery. He had a way of relaxing and comforting her with just his smile. For a few brief moments, she could be herself and forget reality.

The nights were the worst time for Alisha. She would see Gray Eagle's face when she closed her eyes and hear his voice cal to her in her sleep. Even though I felt and saw his cruelty, she brooded, it seems so unreal now. I must forget him, and yet, I can't. How I seems so unreal now. I must forget him, and yet, I can't. How I long to go to him, to have him take me in his arms and tel me it was al a dreadful mistake, to have him love me!

She would admonish her thoughts and feelings. You live in a dream world, Lese, for you never realy knew him at al. You love a man you have created in your mind. The Wanmdi Hota you love and desire is only an ilusion-a beautiful, daring ilusion. Why do you refuse to see and accept this truth? You must recognize the real Wanmdi Hota for who and what he truly is, not what and who you wish him to be.

After al he has been to me, what wil my life be like without him? she wondered. How could I ever love another man as I have loved him? My heart betrays me for surely I should hate him with every fiber of my being. G.o.d help me, for I love him more than my own life.

How can I think of my future when my thoughts are living in my past? How do you tel the heart not to love, or the mind to forget, or the pain to cease? The longer I am here, the more I see his view of this brutal conflict. Stil, it did not and wil not change anything.

What now? her heart cried out. I can neither forget nor reclaim my past. It was distressing and alarming to realize the loss of Gray Eagle brought her more pain than the loss of anyone in her past life, or even than the beating he had inflicted upon her. Why did he realy beat me? she wondered. Had she pushed him so far? I wonder if he regrets his action.

She couldn't forget the strange expression in his ebony eyes just before he began. Had it been one of guilt, compa.s.sion, hesitation or regret? She would never know. I would rather have died than lose him forever, she cried to herself. I must surely be died than lose him forever, she cried to herself. I must surely be mad, for I would accept him with his hatred rather than not have him at al. He is lost to me forever.

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